[While Sherlock knows it's patently ridiculous to worry even vaguely that his face might get stuck like this, in this expression of utter incredulity, his grandmother's long-ago warnings nonetheless come back to him. The fact that they're his grandmother's is reassuring, though. The woman was an incomparable idiot.]

It doesn't work that way, and you'll really have to be a bit more specific as I feel I'm not entirely qualified to make an assessment regarding what makes a 'bod'--

[Air quotes very much included.]

--bangin' or not bangin'.

[In fact, he's not exactly certain what that even means.]

Incidentally, why are you still following me?