Wallie Smith | 004 | Video

[reluctantsword]

[The video feed opens suddenly, with Wallie looking earnestly into the camera as he begins a one-sided conversation with someone, pausing at intervals for responses only he can see. He's half-laughing in relief and joy.]

Jja? Don't panic, it's me, I promise. Are you all right?

[...]

No, no, it's not magic, I promise. Not sorcerer magic, anyway. You're doing fine. It's -- look, I'll explain later. I'm just so glad to see you. Is Vixi with you?

[...]

Okay, the two of you stay put, and I'll come find you. Where are you? Tell me what you see.

[...]

I know where that is, I'm close. Stay put. I'm coming.

Comments

[ audio ]

[noblexcompanion]

[ Donna's been trying hard to avoid the rhino men and the pepper-pot monsters and the lava monsters, but even so, she's still managing to check the network from time to time. ]

Who are you talking to, sweetheart?

Re: [ audio ]

[reluctantsword]

[By this time, Wallie's sprinted to the beach, but Jja is nowhere to be seen. He's frustrated, worried, agitated.]

Jja. My wife. Did I miss another message from her? She's not where she said she was.

[ audio ]

[noblexcompanion]

I haven't seen any messages on the network from anyone with that name...

Re: [ audio ]

[reluctantsword]

[Annoyed, Wallie gives a snort.]

I just talked to her. Dark, pretty, seamstress craftmarks. She has a baby boy with her.

[ audio ]

[noblexcompanion]

I haven't seen any babies at all since we got here...

Re: [ audio ]

[reluctantsword]

Dammit.

[He draws a long, slow breath. He's all stretched out, suddenly, his patience gone.]

Look, if you see her, you send her my way.

[ audio ]

[noblexcompanion]

I... yeah, I will...

[ellectric]

[Elle takes a while to respond. She can... feel herself sliding toward insanity, but she can't keep her mouth shut. Not about this. Not now. So she finally rallies herself.]

Dude. You're fucking crazy.

[reluctantsword]

[He huffs, irritated.]

Look, I'm a little busy right now. Is that the most help you can give me?

[ellectric]

I could give you more, but it would be sex and I don't really know what's going on right now.

[Wallie likely won't realize this, but Elle isn't normally so honest. But she can't keep track of her lies right now, nor does she have much of a filter, so for better or worse, she's saying things as she thinks them.]

[wandandsickle]

Erm, are you quite all right? It was Wallie, wasn't it?

[reluctantsword]

[He's too agitated to hide his frustrated puff of breath.]

I'm trying to find my wife. Sex from you isn't really helpful.

[reluctantsword]

[He's distracted, agitated.]

Yes, it's Wallie. You're... oh, hell. Remind me? Sorry, it's just... my wife's here, or she was here. I think something may have happened to her.

[ellectric]

Of course it isn't helpful. We haven't had sex yet.

Tell me if you think the same thing afterwards.

[reluctantsword]

[This is, in his opinion, the worst and most inappropriate come-on imaginable.]

Don't waste my time.

[ellectric]

Uh... That's really rude of you, asshole. Ever think about being less of an asshole?

[reluctantsword]

You're the one propositioning me when I'm trying to find my wife!

[ellectric]

And your point is?

[reluctantsword]

The point is I'd rather have sex with her than you. No offense.

[ellectric]

None taken.

But when she turns you down or isn't around, you know where to find me.

Name's Elle, by the way. In case I didn't mention it before.

[reluctantsword]

Wallie.

[He sighs.]

Yeah, I'll.. remember the offer. Sure.

[ellectric]

Good.

[Now that their business has been taken care of, she cuts the feed.]