cape_kore | 001 | Chuck Shurley

Entry tags:

001 | Chuck Shurley | Video

Oh, uh...

[Hello, Kore. Amidst the influx of new arrivals is Chuck. He's got short, curly brown hair and a beard. He also looks incredibly baffled as he squints down at the communicator on his wrist. He's outside, and his free hand is shielding his eyes from the sun. He doesn't appear to be someone who's used to being outside very often. Or like, at all.

He seems to be surprised that he's gotten the communicator working. He also seems confused as to who, exactly, he's talking to. But that doesn't stop him from stuttering on anyways.]

Sorry, I--I'm not exactly sure I know exactly were I am? Well, I mean... Cape Kore, obviously, but, uh... I mean, I was just in Ohio.

[He's smart enough that he knows that wherever Cape Kore is, it's certainly not in Ohio. He looks a little lost and confused for a second before a thought occurs to him.]

Was it---is this the angels? They did this, didn't they? They're the only ones who could do this, right? [And yet, even that didn't add up because,] I thought the Apocalypse was over!

[Chuck drags a hand down his face. He's not a Winchester. This isn't a life he's suited for. He's just a writer.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

It's like summer camp. Only, with a food shortage, and it's cold, and there's a whole bunch of dick angels roaming about, oh and the King of Hell.

Not to mention the local wildlife.

Nothing to worry about. Life's peachy. You'll be fine.

[You know, if you were trying to be reassuring... you failed. Completely and utterly.]

Oh. That's---yeah. Great.

[He's so psyched to be here, can't you read it on his face?]

Wait, what do you mean... local wildlife?

Well, as far as I know there are sabre-tooth tigers and dire wolves. Probably a whole bunch of other nasties too.

You know, every day kind of stuff...

[ ... ]

Oh. Well... if that's all.

[He may be having a small, minor panic attack.]

Should I find you a paper bag?

[ See how nice she is? See? And people say demons are evil! Pft. ]

Apparently there is a sea monster too. I've yet to see it myself though.

[Do you have any idea how extremely unhelpful you are?]

No, no, I'm... fine.

[He does not sound fine. In fact, he sounds the exact opposite of fine.]

S-Sea monster? ....Oh.

[He literally does not know what to say other than that.]

[ How many other demons offered a bag to aid the recovery from panic? None. That's right. ]

Yeah, if you're fine then I'm a nun.

[ She rolls her eyes. ] Stay out the sea and I'm sure it won't eat you.

[To be fair, the only demon that Chuck's seen in person was Lilith.]

Demon nun. That's... [Not something he ever wanted to see. Or think about. Thank you. ...yeah. Okay.

[ Well... she would gladly get on her knees for an angel - does that count? ]

You're welcome.

[Wow, that's... definitely not an image he needed to see. Thank you for that.]

Oh, uh... my name is Chuck, by the way. [Introducing himself to a demon. What is the world coming to?]

Meg. Charmed, I'm sure.

Yeah, I... I know who you are.

[Surprise, he's a prophet!]

I love it when a guy says that. Makes my nethers quiver.

[Wow, that wasn't the intended reaction at all, Meg what even are you--]

No, I mean I--I'm a prophet. I have visions...

[Chuck, I don't think you are helping your case.]

Oh, been dreaming about me, have you? Cute.

I thought you prophets were supposed to sit and read the God scribbles, not daydream.

What?

[Hello, new information.]

What do you mean "God scribbles"?

[ Spoilers. Possibly damaging timelines. Pft. Whatever. ]

You know... the tablets? The Word of God you nerdheads are supposed to translate?

[Nah, it's fine. He's God. He can handle it.]

I... [His eyebrows furrow in confusion.] No, I've never read the word of God. I mean... I thought I was writing the word of God? You know, the Winchester Gospels or... whatever.

I guess the prophets must've been demoted then...

I guess?

I mean, reading the Word of God sounds important, though.

Maybe God should get his ass down here and read his own friggin' Word for us. Save us all a lot of time and effort.

Yeah, but... no one knows where God is.

[ Except for Chuck. Chuck happens to know exactly where God is.]

That's because he's more of a dick than the angels are.

[ No offence. ]

[None taken.]

Yeah, I--I guess.

God runs out, the angels suffer daddy issues, Heaven falls apart. The rest of us suffer.

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