River Tam | Day 64 | Video

[enchangement]

[ Sometime before dawn the video clicks on, though it might not be terribly obvious at first; a night like this in a place with such little artificial light means that the video begins terribly dark, but eventually it focuses to show the strange constellations in the sky above Cape Kore. ]

Good morning. May God give you a good morning, adios, good bye, vas a Dios, you go with God, so it has always been attributed to higher and distant and foreign powers, that there is no control to be had over our spinning through the 'verse. Trapped on a rock, in a dream, trapped and here we are, back to ourselves.

Worse for wear. Damaged, cracked, broken, missing pieces, missing tunes, missing bones, missing missing missing...

Some of you are new, agitated and angry and odd like all the others. Why are you here? We don't know. How do you go home? We don't know but she can tell you, she can tell you this...

When you go you are taken and when you are taken it is sudden, and when it is sudden it sets the entire axis to spin in the wrong direction.

[ She sighs. A hand moves to blot out some of the stars, fingers spreading a bit to let the light back through, but not all of it. ]

If God is here then God is trapped along with all the other rats in the maze.

Come on new voices. Come on and upheave your suffering, vent your frustrations, scream to the sky. Make noise that we may be able to better identify the new notes, she and I, make noise so that she may be better able to say goodbye when you're gone if she remains.

Announce yourselves, oh friends of mine, that she may feel reassured you haven't gone to dust like the carbon in starts that sits in our very bones, the iron and silver and atoms that are only as close as they will ever be. Nothing ever touches.

Announce yourselves for I am tired and angry and will set my soul to wounded hearts like the anchor and she won't be tracking you all down today. No, not today.

So much happens from sunset to sunrise. So much happens during the day. So much happens in so few hours, a handful of moments and it may be a miracle we haven't set the woods alight.

Why haven't we?!

[ Private to: Steve Rogers ]

Would you like a list? The dead and the missing?

There was a murder and there are several who did not wake in their beds.

[ Private to: Daneel ]

You have been a good friend to Ned. Thank you thank you thank you.

This means you have to keep yourself whole. Do you fight? Can you fight?

Comments

[manofiron]

[ He's willing to let the angel argument drop, if only because she brings up Ned. It seems like that's all anyone can talk about and he's never going to hear the end of it. Irritation spikes inside him. ]

Yeah. Great. Look. I get it, okay? Shame on me. Everybody doesn't have to keep rubbing it in.

[enchangement]

[ River makes an irritated clicking noise with her tongue against her teeth. ]

There were worse offenders, grave offenses, lines crossed and eliminated, take her at her word she is glad.

So what was best and what was worse, being a hunter? If you want to share.

If not, then change the subject. Above and beyond offense at anything not anyone not one of our captures who require a new way of thinking perhaps without a mind.

[manofiron]

[ Oh, he believes that she is glad. That gladness seems to be the prevailing opinion among everyone who keeps bringing it up to him. ]

Strength and speed. That was the best.

[ He hadn't been weak then. He'd been useful. And now that too is gone. ]

I think the rest of it counts as the worst.

[enchangement]

[ River sighs heavily. ]

Not useless as-is. You've flown. So many haven't. You've survived. So many haven't.

Glad you're all right too. How is the doctor good and green?

[manofiron]

[ He'll give her a point for the flying, but he disagrees on the overall assessment of his usefulness. But he does it silently, not wanting to burden her with it unduly. ]

He's fine. Better than. The jolly green giant kept him safe. He always does. Have you meant him? The Hulk, I mean, not Bruce.

[enchangement]

No. Only from a distance. You're friends with two sides that aren't friends with each other? Is that hard?

[ She can sense your lack of faith in yourself Tony and it makes her sad. ]

You're better than you know.

[manofiron]

[ He can't address that last bit. Likely, he never could, but now, after the last few days spent as a vampire, nothing about him feels good. ]

It is. But it's important, too. Because they could be friends. I think deep down, they need to be. They just need someone to show them how. That's where I like to think I come in.

[enchangement]

[ Why is it the amazing people don't believe they're amazing? Forget dancing, River might need to teach a class called 'self-esteem: believing you're the badass everyone else knows you are' at this point. Granted it might need to open up with her saying "I once, too, believed I wasn't a badass." ]

Is it working? The theory is sound.

[manofiron]

Um, well...

[ He'd like to say yes. Unfortunately, he thinks that he's inadvertently widened the schism between them. [

I think the jury's still out on that one. I may have said some things that made them feel like they're in competition with each other for my attention and that's so not what's going on. I'm just bad at effective communication.

[enchangement]

They don't like each other but they like you and sharing only happens when one is shoved out of frame and into the fear of non-existence.

They have to take turns or learn to balance and it's not easy.

Can't just say the first thing that flies out of your mouth you know.

[manofiron]

You know, that's actually harder than it sounds. The whole not saying the first thing that comes to mind thing. It's like my thoughts just come out sometimes. I'm not really sure how that happens.

[ He pauses, but since they're talking about it anyway... ]

For the sake of the argument, how would you go about convincing one that you don't like the other better?

[ And please don't say kissing is involved. That's what got him into this mess in the first place. ]

[enchangement]

So work at it. Not talking for the joy of my own voice to my ears.

You can. You think you can't. Who do you trust? Yourself or the truth? Which is vanity and which is fatalism?

[ Oh Tony. Your choices. ] How did 'better' even enter the vocabulary? Two imperfect a equal another imperfect but an improved facsimile of desired perfection as a concept of self.

Why is it a question? You're there. You're there. What sort of miracle is that to be doubted? Speak from experience. You're already doing but if you don't know the right language it just turns into uncertain noise.

Don't laugh and say its all right.

[manofiron]

Some work requires a really careful touch and I have a tendency to get a little ham-handed with delicate things.

[ It's vague, but Tony doesn't ordinarily talk about his insecurities at all. He ruins everything that's good in his life. He knows it. He just doesn't want to fuck this up too. ]

But I'm listening. As well as I can listen. You're not just talking to hear yourself talk. Honest.

[enchangement]

You'll keep trying and that is the thing, to keep trying means improvement over time and improvement over time equals acceptance of how important this is.

The eventual goal should be coexistence. That may happen as a matter of chemistry and course before they trust each other.

[manofiron]

Yeah. Yeah, you're right. I will keep trying. Giving up isn't really my style.

Thanks, River. For letting me talk.

[enchangement]

Always anytime.