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Sunuva- bitch.
[ The camera goes all screwy as Jesse pushes himself up, sits back on his knees and sweeps his hands off on each other. He doesn't seem to notice the camera's even on as he paws at himself and finally stands, swearing a few times under his breath as he does. Idly beats some gravel off his jeans. He sounds dumbfounded when he finally speaks again. ] I'm back here.
[ And the camera turns with him, a few confused steps before he throws his arms out to both sides, an irritated kind of shrug. ] I'm back- here. [ And his hand raises again, so he can first tap a finger against the screen, and then slap an angry palm against it a few times. He repeats, ] Sunuvabitch.
[ Then he finally fiddles with the buttons, intending to turn on the communicator, but, ] oh, [ it's already on. ] Ya wanna clue me in here? [ He glances around the area. ] Yo, anyone still out there?
[ The camera goes all screwy as Jesse pushes himself up, sits back on his knees and sweeps his hands off on each other. He doesn't seem to notice the camera's even on as he paws at himself and finally stands, swearing a few times under his breath as he does. Idly beats some gravel off his jeans. He sounds dumbfounded when he finally speaks again. ] I'm back here.
[ And the camera turns with him, a few confused steps before he throws his arms out to both sides, an irritated kind of shrug. ] I'm back- here. [ And his hand raises again, so he can first tap a finger against the screen, and then slap an angry palm against it a few times. He repeats, ] Sunuvabitch.
[ Then he finally fiddles with the buttons, intending to turn on the communicator, but, ] oh, [ it's already on. ] Ya wanna clue me in here? [ He glances around the area. ] Yo, anyone still out there?
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You got a lotta nads showin' yourself over here, ya know.
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Not exactly showin'. Just talkin'. Just checkin' up on you, man, don't mean nothin' by it.
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Didn't do this for me. Did it for Jet. You're solid, one piece, now I disappear. That simple. Don't get involved in shit that ain't got a thing to do with you.
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The fuck did I just say? I don't gotta answer t'you, son. Stay out.
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Not doin' this with you right now.
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He knows what's up, I know what's up. We settled it. It's done. We're good, him n' me. That's all you need to know, that's all you get to know. Ain't none of your fuckin' business, you hear me? He can talk if he wants, but that's all you get from me. That's it.
[Because killing someone like that, killing someone with your face? He doesn't want to fucking talk about it. You don't talk about that shit. Not to anyone but the other guy.]
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I'm thinkin' you stab my friend- and you try to tell me that it ain't any of my fuckin' business? That is bullshit. You don't owe me jack, yo, but if you're thinkin' it's over and done with that quick you got another thing comin'.
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[He is literally asking for it.]
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Yo, you think this is a game?
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Not playin' with you. That's not what this is. You want blood? You got blood. Whatever it takes to make it right. You think you can make that call? Do it. Fuckin' do it.
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[ He shoves again, wrestling his way a bit around Ghoul's hands into his shirt, furiously. ] That ain't my call! You wanna kill someone? You wanna end someone's life, they come back or not? [ And he points deliberately at Ghoul, right in his face. ] That's on you. You don't make that okay, you don't just bring someone some goddamn flowers and make that okay!
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[He steps back again, hands coming up to hold his head, palms pressed against temples. It's not okay. No matter how many times he says he's sorry, and he is so goddamn sorry, it's never gonna be okay.]
Wasn't myself. Couldn't control it, wasn't me! I was... somethin' else-- Never woulda done that to him, never. [Gotta make him understand that. Struggling to get his point across, it wasn't him. But that doesn't make it okay.]
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What the hell's that supposed to mean?
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Said shit to Jet I didn't mean, can't take it back. Got into it with Galen. He tried t'stop me ... got away, went after Finch. He-- [Fuck. He can't finish that sentence. No way. Finch trusted him. He can't say that out loud, it's tearing him up inside just thinking it. Ghoul turns around, looking at nothing in particular, and scrubs a hand over his face. Keeps it covering his mouth. Other hand at his hip.]
Couldn't stop myself.
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[ Yeah, Jesse knows all about being a demon. Yeah, he got that opportunity himself not too long ago - longer, now, but he remembers fully, too fully, what it was like and what he did to Cass. It wasn't as much as he could have but it still was and he had to get those consequences seated. She was gone for now, after all. Wasn't like he had the opportunity to make it right. Wasn't like he could if he tried. ]
[ And it wasn't like he could reconcile that idea with Ghoul, as much as he couldn't with himself. ]
So- [ He says slowly, wanders another step in. His fingers work at his sides, agitated. ] So, what, you think that, like, excuses you?
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