[VOICE]

[primogen_vampirate]

[Mina's voice is calm and collected. She enjoys her particular air of authority and it's quite clear.]

I think, at this point, it's safe to say that we're going to be here for a while. As tragic as that is, we must be practical. No sense in beating our breasts over it and crying about the fates. That won't accomplish anything.

Dramatics aside, it seems only practical that everyone here submit to a physical examination. Since Doctor Banner and I are going to be your primary care physicians, we do need a good baseline for all of your healthy, little bodies.

I shall be in the clinic every night this week. No need to call ahead. I'll take people on a first come, first serve basis. And if you're uncomfortable with me, I won't be offended if you turn to Doctor Banner instead. However, if you try to skip out on this little examination, we will know about it, as we will be sharing notes.

[She pauses.]

I realize that not all of you are comfortable with the chain of command, but please understand, this is not a request. This is a requirement. We cannot function efficiently as a medical unit without the proper data. And I don't care if you've never been sick a day in your life, if you're an immortal homunculus, or if you have "a thing" about doctors. This needs to be done. Let's be practical here.

Comments

[voice]

[afallenstar]

I'm sorry, but I'd rather not. It's nothing personal. A fantastic idea though.

[primogen_vampirate]

Problem, dear?

[afallenstar]

I don't find myself getting sick often. It would be a waste of my time and a pointless use of your resources. There are others out here who'll need your help far more, I'm sure.

[primogen_vampirate]

Darling, this isn't just about you.

There's information I need. Blood types, for example. I need to know who can be a donor for who else in this place.

I don't know how these people expect me to do my job when everyone is being completely uncooperative. And then, if someone dies, they'll blame me when I wasn't adequately prepared.

[afallenstar]

I can't help you with blood transfusions, I don't think I'd be...compatible with anyone.

[ A pause, and she knows she'll regret this later but much more quietly she adds:]

If anyone is sick, or injured, and they need help just let me know right away.

[primogen_vampirate]

Well, clearly, my services are not going to be required.

I should step down.

[She sighs irritably.]

This is the reward one gets for trying to help people.

[afallenstar]

I'm speaking for myself, not everyone here. I'm sure there are plenty of people here who need your help, people just tend not to be very good at asking for it, or accepting orders. Perhaps you should just try an open door policy? It might go down a little more smoothly.

At any rate, just...keep my offer in mind. I don't want anyone dying any more than you do.

[primogen_vampirate]

Well, they don't want me for their doctor.

They're all yours, dear. I'm not up for this fight.

[afallenstar]

It doesn't have to be a fight. I'm not a doctor, I can't help with the regular stuff at all. Trust me, you're much better for the job I'm sure. Trying to force peoples hand never goes over well, that's all. You could have offered everyone mandatory chocolate cake and they would have thrown it in your face at the word 'requirement'.

[primogen_vampirate]

You know what they say. No good deed goes unpunished.

[And sulkily, Mina closes the channel.]