002: Ring ring, phone call for Mrs. Harvelle

[runboyrun]

Open because Stiles can't work the comm properly yet.

Uh... hey, is that Ellen?

[Behold Stiles' most charming smile. Which is actually pretty darned charming, considering how much practice it's gotten with getting him out of sticky situations.]

So, I was talking to a guy who said that talking to you would be a good place to start if I was looking into learning how not to get my ass kicked. Because not gonna lie, that would be useful information for me to have, considering my history.

I'm Stiles, by the way.

Comments

[justrunsasaloon]

Dead man's blood slows down vampires. Makes them sick and gives you a chance to get out of the way and come back with reinforcements. Bones of the innocent come in handy for protection spells. And graveyard dirt comes in handy for the same reason.

[She cocks her head to the side.]

What are you looking to protect yourself from?

[runboyrun]

As many things as I'm likely to face.

[He grimaces.]

A druid was dicking around with old magic in my town, which, fun times, is on top of an ass-ton of ley lines. So, we think she might've disturbed something. Like, amped up the power? Turned it into a beacon for the weird. I just wanna be ready.

[justrunsasaloon]

[Ellen sighs. Then she pulls out another notebook and a pencil.]

Sit down, kid. We're going to be talking awhile. We'll start with the ones that are easiest to get rid of and go from there.

[She sips her water.]

How squeamish are you?

[runboyrun]

Uh, on a scale of one to ten? Ten being "Oh god blood hey I'm unconscious"? I'd say about a three. Maybe two. Not a lot fazes you when you've seen actual brain matter.

...I'm just bad with needles. Like, really bad. Needles aren't likely to become a thing, are they?

[justrunsasaloon]

[She snorts.]

How about digging up and burning corpses?

[runboyrun]

...Can't say that's one I've ever had to do... Guess we'll find out if it ever comes up.

[justrunsasaloon]

[She smiles a little.]

Ladies in white, ghosts, nasty hauntings, ghost killings - best way to end them is to salt and burn the corpse. They're you're most typical things. Nine times out of ten, they're what you're dealing with.

[runboyrun]

Ghosts. Great.

[Beacon Hills has had more than its quota of violent deaths over the past year or so. Stiles thinks they could do without those spirits getting restless.]

So, ghost-remedy is salt and burn the body. Shake and bake.

[Saying it out loud helps to lock it into his memory, and he nods.]

Demons are the latin and the holy water.

[justrunsasaloon]

[She chuckles.]

Boy, I grew up in this. And sometimes, it still amazes me that this stuff goes on and that more people don't know about it.

[She nods.]

Shifters and werewolves are silver. Vampires, decapitate. Don't try that fancy stake through the heart. There are things you stake, but vampires only die if you remove their head.

[runboyrun]

[His mouth flattens out at the mention of killing werewolves - he kows more than enough ways to do it, but it's something he doesn't think he'll ever be okay with.]

What about holy water with vampires? Or like, sunlight? They don't... sparkle, do they?

[justrunsasaloon]

Holy water gets the wet and sunlight makes them cranky.

[She shrugs, pouring herself another glass of water.]

Hit them with an arrow dipped in dead man's blood and they'll get sick and it'll slow them down. The only thing that kills them is fire and chopping off their heads. And if you're going to set them on fire, better make sure they don't get back up.

[She finishes sketching a few things and then turns the notebook around.]

These are protection symbols. They'll keep out just about anything. Or trap it until you can kill it.

[runboyrun]

Fire kills most things, by the sounds of it.

[He takes the paper, examines the symbols.]

And when you say 'almost everything', you mean like... vampires, ghosts, werewolves...?

[He aims for casual, knows he never quite pulls it off. Using these kind of symbols recklessly could end up causing a lot of trouble in the lighthouse... or hilarity.]

[justrunsasaloon]

[She raises her eyebrows. He seems really worried about werewolves. She'll worry about that later.

Her finger runs over the individual symbols.]

Demon. Get them in this, and they can't get out until you break it. There's one here, so this'll come in handy for her.

This will keep out most ghosts, women in white, things like that. Something with enough strength will get past it, but anything like that, you're going to need to find and salt and burn the corpse fast anyway.

This is general protection. Something like a dream catcher, keeps out the bad vibes.

[runboyrun]

There's a demon here?! Oh my god what the hell?

[justrunsasaloon]

[Oh god. She needs a drink.]

There's a demon here. Her name is Meg. She's living in one of the houses with Dean Winchester and Castiel. Not sure where the rest of the angels are staying. But they're around. Know for a fact that the four archangels are here, along with a few others.

[runboyrun]

Ok, I need to process...

...Nope. Can't process. She's bunking with an angel? And no-one's freaking out? What is she, a friendly demon?

[justrunsasaloon]

[Ellen points to the symbols.]

I don't like it. Nothing I can do about it. I try exorcising her and I break the promise I made to Dean and Castiel.

And don't ever believe they're friendly. They aren't. They're always working an angle, looking for a deal. There's always something.

[runboyrun]

Yeah, that was sarcasm. I figured they weren't friendly, something about the whole 'demon' thing doesn't exactly go hand-in-hand with charity and generosity.

[justrunsasaloon]

Angels aren't much better, and don't forget that.

[she sighs.]

Angels aren't the nice guys. Read your bible about them. They slaughter and torture. There's a reason they usually start with the words 'fear not' when they're around to not kill someone.

[runboyrun]

...Are there any nice superatural creatures? Faeries?

No, wait. Don't. I read the old faery stories. Unicorns? Santa? Please don't tell me Santa's evil.

[justrunsasaloon]

[Ellen can't help a chuckle.]

No, probably not. Never met the man. I know the boys ran across a few pagan gods a couple of times.

[Probably not helpful.]

[runboyrun]

Great. Great. Everything evil is real and everything good is actually an asshole.

[He thunks his head into his hands. It's a lot to take on board, and it's feeling like a whole lot of bad news.]

[justrunsasaloon]

[She reaches out and puts a hand on his shoulder.]

Disney, and a human need to find good in everything, changed all the old tales, where they were warnings, fables meant to teach, into things that are meant to make people feel safe and secure.

But.

[She taps his shoulder and then points around.]

There are ways to protect yourself. That's why you're here, right?

[runboyrun]

Yeah. Yeah, you're right.

[He offers up a wan little smile.]

[justrunsasaloon]

[She pats his shoulder.]

Don't worry. Come on.

[She grabs a piece of chalk out of the kit under the bar.]

Symbols first, then we'll work on your ability to decapitate things.

[Smirk. Now, she's messing with him.]