I'm afraid you'll have to find someone to maintenance you, darling. We used to get a few things from the scientists who used to run this place, but now it's pretty quiet. Just the lunatics in the asylum, as far as we can tell.

[She's great at selling the place. Truly. But at least she has a light tone? It's something.]

Plaques would be a bit weighty to carry around, wouldn't they?