[ video - day 206 ]

[lost_my_shoe]

[ Private video to Jo Harvelle ]

[ Remember how much older and more tired Sam looked when you first arrived, Jo? Well, he looks a whole lot worse now. Don't take it personally. The last few days have been hard for him. ]

Hey... You still up for that drink?

Comments

[lost_my_shoe]

Well, at least we don't have to worry about you shooting us then...

[knifecollecting]

I know how to hit what I'm aiming at.

[Which is usually not friends.]

[lost_my_shoe]

Oh, no, I know you've got great aim - I meant purposely shooting us...

I mean, Dean's my brother but there are plenty of times when I want to shoot him.

[knifecollecting]

I can control myself enough not to shoot either of you if I felt like it.

[lost_my_shoe]

That's kinda good to know, actually. Pretty sure most hunters would love to take a shot at us.

[knifecollecting]

You guys aren't to blame for anything that happened to me. [Or to her mom.

Okay, well, they're a little to blame for some of it, but she doesn't blame them.]

[lost_my_shoe]

[ Yeah, they're probably a lot to blame for it. They did kind of let Lucifer out of his cage, and they were kind of the ones the hellhounds were after... ]

Think we both know that's not true...

[knifecollecting]

Come on. I went on trial and said that. It's the truth. [Even if neither of the boys seem to believe it.]

[lost_my_shoe]

[ Let's be real, the Winchester will always carry their guilt on their shoulders, even when they don't need to. One day they'll probably be crushed under the weight of it all. ]

People lie on trial all the time.

[knifecollecting]

I really didn't want to lie and I didn't need to lie. [She didn't want Dean to die. She told the truth.]

[lost_my_shoe]

We still blame ourselves.

[knifecollecting]

Neither of you should.

[lost_my_shoe]

We kinda carry a lot of guilt on our shoulders. We've gotten a lot of people killed...

[knifecollecting]

I know. [She knows both things.]

But sometimes it's not what you should be carrying around.

[lost_my_shoe]

I guess old habits die hard.

[ And he's just going to refill their glasses because they are both too sober for all this crap. ]

[knifecollecting]

[They weren't always like that. She doesn't point that out in favor of reaching for her refilled glass.]

At least there's a chance.

[lost_my_shoe]

[ Sam downs the contents of his glass in one go. ]

You know... I'm sorry. I ask you for a drink and I'm just burdening you with all this crap that you don't need.

[knifecollecting]

I'm a bartender. That's what guys usually do.

[lost_my_shoe]

Doesn't mean I should do the same. So, enough of my bitching. What's on your mind?

[knifecollecting]

Mostly how messed up this place is.

[Heaven was kind of lonely but it was still better than this.]

[lost_my_shoe]

I get the feeling that's one of the most common complaints around here. But hey, at least we have more experience with the messed up than most these people...

[knifecollecting]

I'd prefer the messed up I already know. [Getting to know this crazy messed up is not very fun.]

[lost_my_shoe]

Better the devil you know, right? [ poor choice of phrase, Sam. ]

[knifecollecting]

[Oh, Sam.]

I'd rather no devil at all.

[lost_my_shoe]

You and me both.