018 ✳ day 208 ✳ video/action

[blackmagus]

[Her day had been going so quietly. Well, mostly. As quiet as the Center gets. Sometimes that's pretty damned quiet. But today, as Fortescue is attempting to scrounge up some lunch, she discovers something in the fridge that she hopes no one in the Center classifies as food.

It has two mouths. And tentacles. And bright colors that would be rather pretty, if it wasn't snarling its head off. Luckily, her reaction time is faster than those tentacles, and she gets the door closed before she has to worry about whether or not the tentacles have toothy suckers on them.

But now it's in the refrigerator, with the food, and she has to think of a game plan. It's not a game plan that comes to mind, either, as she clicks her phone on. Tendrils of shadow are keeping the door firmly shut, which means her concentration is split between the phone and her magic.]

So, you lot. [Yes, you.] I've been thinking. We seem to have a hard time of keeping track of everyone's comings and goings, which makes this place all the more confusing. [The refrigerator snarls and shakes, but she keeps going.] There were plans for a buddy system in the past, but that doesn't work if both disappear. Does anyone have any bright ideas? Perhaps some sort of sheet to check into, every day, in a centralized space?

Obviously it will only work if people use it. [Snarl!] I'm all ears, darlings. What do we think?

[While she figures out what to do with squidzilla. She's far too sober for this.]

Comments

[ video ]

[noblexcompanion]

What the heck is that noise?! [ Priorities! Donna has them. Snarling in this place is usually bad news! ]

Is it a monster? It's a flippin' monster, isn't it?

[ video ]

[blackmagus]

[Don't worry, bestie, she's got this.

Probably. Ninety-nine percent? Hard to say in a place like this. The squid could be from anywhere.]

...yes, I suppose it probably is. [She smiles wryly.] Some sort of... cephalopod, I think. I didn't get a detailed look before it flailed at me. It has at least eight tentacles.

[ video ]

[noblexcompanion]

[ That's not terribly reassuring, bestie! One of these days Donna is going to suffer a major heart attack worrying about you, missy! ]

At least eight tentacles? Well that's reassuring... [ Only... not. ]

I suppose it's good news if you want to make tentacle soup...

[ video ]

[blackmagus]

[Rumble.]

Not so loud, love. I think Sir Calimari can hear you. [She's joking, mostly, but you never know.] You know my cooking skills are rubbish, anyway. It would probably kill everyone who ate it.

[ video ]

[noblexcompanion]

I'm sure your cooking can't be that bad. Besides, in this place you can blame it on the ingredients.

[ A beat. ]

You need some help to dispose of Squidward, or you got it?

[ video ]

[blackmagus]

That's a good one, I'll have to remember that if I ever feel like properly cooking something. [Sandwiches have always been her go-to when alone and without a restaurant to go to.] But honestly, I have no idea what I'm doing. My mother could burn water, so she never tried teaching my sister and I.

[Excellent physicist. Awful cook. Fortescue is distracted enough by the squid-creature that she doesn't actually mind talking about her family.]

...I think I've got it. I might just shove him into a closet, to be perfectly honest. I'll mark it if I do.

[ video ]

[noblexcompanion]

[ Aw Forte! Talking about her family! That's verging on feels talk - sober feels talk too! Be careful there. Sober feels talk is dangerous territory! ]

Shoving monsters into closets seems to be a pretty common thing here. Must work!

Video

[seraphique]

I do agree some sort of attendance should be taken, but...what is that noise, Fortescue?

Video

[blackmagus]

Oh, just... [She looks at the fridge.] An unhappy new resident. You know how the kitchen has all sorts of strange ingredients? Well, this time it really outdid itself, if you catch my meaning.

[But hey, that's one person for attendance! Good.]

I'M SORRY THIS IS SO LATE

[seraphique]

[She blinks a few times.]

Do you mean to tell you that the food is still alive?

[Really, at this point? Christine's beginning to think she should expect the unexpected.]

<3

[blackmagus]

[Fortescue gives a quiet chuckle.]

I wouldn't eat this particular creature, but yes. Perhaps the Center thinks we need... very fresh food.

[Sorry, machine, but she's not going to eat the thing.]

[seraphique]

Dear god.

[Christine takes a deep, steadying breath before she speaks, and chooses her next words carefully. She's not sure what she can do, but, well...she wants to do something. Fortescue has been good to her.]

Do you...need any help?

[blackmagus]

Oh, no, love. Don't worry about me. I have a few volunteers coming along.

[A no-nonsense lady with guns, and a vampire. If this thing gives more of a fight than that, well... they'll cross that bridge when they come to it. But it shouldn't.

She smiles.]

I appreciate the thought. How have you been faring?

[Fortescue could use a little conversation. It's been an unsettling morning.]

[Video]

[alldamned]

Now, darlin', I'm all for this buddy idea of yours, keepin' tabs on people and the like, but--

[But that snarling is impossible to ignore, Fort. He raises an eyebrow, tilting his head in question, expectant.]

What in God's name is goin' on over there?

[Video]

[blackmagus]

[Fortescue works best under pressure, really, and does her best thinking under fire. It's when she's left alone, with very little to occupy her, that she tends to fall apart. Thinking about disappearances and having a wrestling match with a tentacled beast isn't actually all that strange for her.

But it is loud. And strong. She can't really blame it for being distracting.]

Evidently, we have an angry thing in our refrigerator. It wasn't angry until I opened the door.

[It might still be a new arrival that just isn't talking. She can't discount that, at the moment. Which is an unnerving part of living in the Center, maybe. The snarling thing with tentacles might be a new neighbor who's just scared. Right?

There's a groaning sound as it flails against the interior of the fridge.]

I'm trying to think of a solution that isn't calamari.

[Video]

[alldamned]

You need a hand down there?

[He's more than willing to come and use one of his knives to quiet that thing once and for all; he'd be more than happy to talk about her plans for getting folks here organized once it's been done, but she's looking for a non-violent solution. Huh.

That's gonna be tricky.]

Not sure what we can do that ain't slice it up and put it to rest, though. You try askin' him to use his words?

[He's a pain in the ass. At least he knows it.]

[Video]

[blackmagus]

[Percy had often commented on missions that it was amazing where her mind could drift in a dangerous situation. This is one of those times, when Benny mentions needing a hand down there. She allows herself half a laugh, maybe a snort, before she composes herself again.

There is an angry squid monster in the refrigerator. Seriousness is required. Benny going on helps.

Also helping is the fact that her magic is losing in an arm-wrestle match. She can feel it pulling at her mind. Now she really does have to decide on a game plan.]

I was considering trying to find a room with a tank. But he'd probably be a danger to the next person who walked in, bloody thing. [She can't take that risk, she decides. It might be Christine, or Donna, or someone so new that they're not braced for danger.] Your hands are appreciated but not required, love. I have done this sort of thing before.

[Video]

[alldamned]

[It's a lesson Benny was likely to learn in due time -- that anything Fortescue could take out of context, she absolutely would, regardless of the current circumstances. Some people might call that a gift, actually.]

Nice idea in theory, but sure gettin' him there would be a hell of a time all on its own. [He puts one hand up in his own defense, the one that's not holding the phone.] Hey now, no offense meant. Just tryin' to be a gentleman.

[Which, for an undead pirate, he's surprisingly good at most of the time.]

So what's plan B? Might seem cliche or overdone, but hittin' it over the head with a skillet can't hurt for a temporary solution.

[Or, you know, use magic instead of violence. That works, too.]

[Video]

[blackmagus]

[One of the shadow tendrils on the fridge loses its wrestling match, and the lights flicker as her concentration on it, and the tendril itself, evaporates. Thankfully, the lights going out for a second boosts the strength of her remaining tendrils, though it won't last. Fortescue grimaces just a little, swallowing an accompanying sigh; why does this thing have to be all muscle?

Ah, right. Invertebrate.]

Knocking it unconscious sounds like a decent plan. I think I picked the wrong decade to step away from being an ichoturge. [Simply making its brain explode would be a quick end. Unfortunately, with humans, ichoturgy is a disgusting practice. She's usually grateful to have moved away from it.

A smile breaks through the grimace.]

If you're volunteering to be my knight in skillet armor, I can keep it occupied while you see how many hits it's going to take. Do you think there will be cartoon birds over its head?

[If two people tackle this critter, there's less likelihood of a horrible squid injury. Fortescue usually doesn't like asking for help, but in a matter of public safety, so to speak, she can concede that it's probably safer.]

[brainsqueeze]

What's going on?

( Her idea was nice, and she'll come back to it but... what the hell was out there? Again )

[blackmagus]

[It's never dull for very long around here.]

I discovered something loud and angry in the kitchen. And very colorful. But I've got it, don't worry.

[At least for now. It's the battle of tentacles versus shadow tendrils. Time to see which wins in a wrestling match.]

[brainsqueeze]

( The worst places never are )

Too late. What is it?

[blackmagus]

Some sort of squid or octopus relative. ...distantly. I don't recall them having two quite visible mouths.

[Rumble. Fortescue hopes it can't dismantle the fridge from the inside. They all sort of need that. But that means it's time to deal with the creature before something bad happens.]

Don't worry, I got decent at wrangling things during the war. Those things were much bigger than Sir Calimari in there.

[But they were less strong and had fewer tentacles, so maybe it's all relative.]

[brainsqueeze]

I'm coming to the kitchen.

( Because she hears that rumbling, and it being in the kitchen... come on, there's enough dodgy food in there without it getting the good stuff. Or everything. Or stopping people eating. She can shoot it if you need a hand? )

[blackmagus]

If you really want to.

[At this point, bullets or something sharp is looking to be the best option for dealing with Bert. As he was unfortunately christened before she ran out of ideas for keeping him alive.

It's too bad that he's so hostile. He could have lived. Or she.]

I'd say bring skewers, but I'd put good money on him being poisonous.

[With all those colors...]