[feed02: audio]

[redripoff]

So the food is getting low. [It's an obvious statement, but just an introductory one, muttered only a little louder than the sound of pen scratching to paper just a few inches from the microphone. He like the audio better, and no one needs to know where he is. Onto the slightly-less obvious, which Tim lays out a little louder and a little slower, like he's concentrating.] At least, the easy food. It seems like most of us are from modern times, used to...modern conveniences. ...Ah.

[One second, let him wrap up this note, close his notebook with a quiet shuffle of paper. Here, you have his full attention:] But, I know that several of you are hunters, several others used to surviving in the wild. Living off the land would be slightly less modern and slightly less convenient, but if there's edible meat around, I for one am more than happy to get my hands dirty.

And I'm one-hundred percent sure I'm not the only one unsatisfied with trusting the natives completely. [That's for you, Edgar, if you're listening.] I can prepare an animal for eating. I know a little bit about desperation farming and cooking and...whatever. The point I'm getting to is that if anyone is having trouble, let me know and we can figure something out. And if anyone thinks I could use schooling, come at me, sensei.

Comments

video:

[charring]

There might be animals and other things in the forest. But I've also been told to avoid it because it can get problematic. I think someone was trying to organize a hunting partner a few days ago?

[relatively permaaudio]

[redripoff]

Even for a place this size, I'd say a "partner" is a few too few. Unless everyone here is vegan or vegetarian, in which case two is probably just enough.

But you're right: the forest can be a little tricky.

Are you maintaining alright, Miss...?

[relatively permaaudio]

[charring]

Not a vegetarian. I kind of like steak a little too much.

I'm doing alright. Done hallucinating, which is good.

[As for her name? Don't mind her as she hesitates on that before switching to private. She's not sure about many people here.]

Charlie. Or Bobbi. But if you want my real name, it's Charlie.

audio

[hung_garian]

Don't suppose there's any wild tofu beasts roaming around for the vegetarians among us? Or even just the nutritionally-inclined?

[Not that he's either of those things - he doesn't eat meat, but that's only because there's no meat in cake - but he can't resist the urge to be as unhelpful as possible.]

Only growing yourself a cabbage patch in a pinch is a little more complex than going out in the woods and gunning down Bambi's mom.

[redripoff]

[Hallucinating. He half-laughs, half-sighs as he slouches in his chair.] Good is one word for it. I'm Tim.

Charlie--is that short for...Charlotte? Charlene?

[charring]

Charlene. [If he could see it, her nose wrinkles a tad. She's not the biggest fan of that name. But hey, Tim. You now have the pleasure of hearing a smile in the girl's voice.]

It's a pleasure to meet you, Tim.

[redripoff]

So, what I'm hearing is that you'd be willing to help simplify the cabbage patch process for the uneducated? In the name of Bambi's mom?

[hung_garian]

You might've been hearing that, but what I was actually saying was more along the lines of 'won't somebody please think of the vegans?'. Sans any offer of aid. Might wanna get your hearing aid checked, buddy.

[redripoff]

It's actually been malfunctioning since I got here. Something's up with this place and tech. [BUT SERIOUSLY, GABRIEL:] Look, I didn't mean to step on anyone. You're...presumably an herbivore.

[redripoff]

The pleasure's mine. How long have you been stuck here, Charlie?

[hung_garian]

Nope. Just antagonistic.

[But hey, at least he's honest about it.]

[redripoff]

Classy. How long have you been here, MJ?

[charring]

A few days, I think. You?

( audio )

[gleans]

That's some skillset. I, uh... I'm not sure how nutritious mechanical bears are, though.

[hung_garian]

Forty days and nights, and some change. How 'bout you - you're a relative newbie, si?

[redripoff]

A few weeks, actually. I hope you weren't too badly shook up by the past few days. Of all the times to drop...

[redripoff]

It depends on how well your body digests metals, really.

[redripoff]

I've been around long enough to have friends here, and to know that this isn't a joke.

[charring]

I've been through worse. But, yeah. They could have at least handed out a welcoming pamphlet.

[That's a joke. Or possibly a hint of sarcasm in her voice. She hates it here. But she'll try to keep neutral because that's as close to positive as she can get.]

[hung_garian]

If it is, it's not a very good one. I haven't seen anyone slip on a banana peel yet.

[redripoff]

Maybe that's something for you to put together. "Welcome to Cape Kore, enjoy the bad trip."

[charring]

It'd definitely keep me occupied. "Welcome to Cape Kore. Here's what you can expect."

That'd be a very thick pamphlet. Maybe it should be "Cape Kore for Dummies" or "The Idiot's Guide to Cape Kore."

[redripoff]

[A thin sigh on this end.] That would imply the presence of viable bananas, in which case we might have less of a problem.

[redripoff]

"Worst-Case Scenario Survival Guide: Cape Kore!" It comes with a kit for a DIY gas mask.

[hung_garian]

Not much less, bananas are gross.