Bruce Banner | 002 | Private video message to Phil and the Natashas

[greenisnteasy]

[Bruce winces into his communicator.]

I didn't know it was a secret, and he asked, so... I told him.

I'm sorry. I didn't mean to jump into the middle of this. Did I make much of mess?

[Always making a mess, isn't he? And here he'd thought he had something tenuously okay with Phil and with Natasha. And he has no idea that his Natasha issues are squared.]

Comments

[greenisnteasy]

[He's still wincing, actually.]

And he's... Is everything okay?

[theshield_agent]

Well, he thinks it's his fault and that he got me killed, even though neither of us can remember it and it hasn't happened yet and if I go back to where I was taken from, I'm about to die, so... things are peachy.

If he didn't find out from you, it would have been someone else. Don't worry about it.

[greenisnteasy]

[He sighs, looking away from the communicator for a long moment.]

For what it's worth, I blame myself too.

[So he has no advice about whether or not Clint should hold himself responsible. He feels somewhat bad about that, but at least Clint didn't fall under Loki's influence because he lost control. That's something.]

Who knows how this thing works, anyway. We're all in this universe, in this time. Our escape hatch, if we find one, might not send us back to where we were.

[theshield_agent]

Don't blame yourself. I don't.

If I do wind up back where I was taken from, I'm still going to walk into that room. I'd rather not do it knowing that you're all blaming yourselves for it. It's my choice. I know that you all win if I walk in there and that's what matters. If anything, it cements that that's what I need to do.

[That doesn't eliminate his fear, of course, but he can handle fear. He can overcome it, like he always does. In the moment, he can take a steadying breath and do whatever he has to do, because that's his job.]

[greenisnteasy]

[He can understand Phil's point, he really can, but he won't stop blaming himself. He won't bring it up either, and he nods instead, accepting his answer.]

You know, people talked about you being a hero, after. How much you believed in them, how you were one, maybe the most important one of all because otherwise... [He shrugs.]

I just thought you should know, if you didn't.

[theshield_agent]

[Phil looks surprised and a little uncomfortable.]

I'm not a hero. I just did what I had to.

[greenisnteasy]

[Bruce knows that feeling, but people (Tony) like to remind him of how he needs to see himself differently, so he's... trying to pay it forward. He isn't very good at it.]

That's what they all say. [He smiles faintly, distantly. Those words do sound awfully familiar.]

Anyway. Like I said, I didn't mean to. I'm really good at keeping secrets otherwise, but I have to know they're secrets first.

[theshield_agent]

Honestly? He's pissed, but it might have been better coming from you than myself or Agent Romanoff. He'll be fine. He always is. He's dealt with much worse than losing his crusty, old boss.

[Phil feels guilty at what a relief it had been to realize just how much Clint would miss him, though. They're friends, of course. They've been friends for a long time, but Phil's feelings have been of the more-than-friends variety for most of it and getting his hopes up is something he tries to clamp down on most of the time. Clint's straight. He can't change that by doing things for him or trying to woo him and he knows that.]

[greenisnteasy]

Aw, go easier on yourself. You're more crisp and middle-aged.

[The joking is more a way to test the waters, to see what kind of ground they stand on now.]

[theshield_agent]

[Phil laughs.]

Thanks. I guess I've still got plenty more hair for Barton to make me lose.

[greenisnteasy]

There's looking on the bright side. Hey, there's probably Rogaine in one of these houses, and worse comes to worse, I can loan you some of mine.

[theshield_agent]

I'm glad you can help me keep perspective.