video, the first | day #71

[rulebreaks]

[Buffy's face is close to her wrist band. A little too close. And she doesn't seem happy with this turn of events.] If this is a joke, can someone please relay to the joke-tellers how unfunny this is? It's like when peanut butter sticks to the roof of your mouth and it should be funny when really it's just full of the peanut-buttery goodness that could've been. ...Your mouth, that is. Is full of--

Metaphors are stupid. And so are... are robot bears! Bears of any kind, really, I don't think their IQs are that high and I don't have a high opinion of robots either. Call it a childhood trauma. Even if that was like, two years ago.

Alright, someone be spill guy. I'm running out of babble. [a beat] ...How do I turn this thing off?

Comments

video

[nedofpies]

[ Have an immediate and distinctly tart reply from a guy who looks not at all amused by her babble. In fact, he looks just this side of pissed ]

No, it's not a joke, and no, it isn't funny. Just like making jokes about how much you hate robots isn't funny, either. [ His jaw is tight as he grinds out the next words; he's angry and aggressive in a way that he would never get, over himself. But he happens to be very fond of a very wonderful robot whose self-esteem is already low enough, thanks very much. His immediate assumption is that Buffy is someone from Daneel's time, his universe. Perhaps from Earth. Like one of the humans who had tried to kill him, just after he'd been activated. Like all the other humans who'd bullied and used him all those years. ]

I can tell you're new, so let me give you some advice. We don't put up with that kind of thing here. Making fun of people because they're different. So if you must be a bigot, well, you'd best just learn how keep it to yourself. Quickly.

video

[rulebreaks]

Woah... guy. Tall, dark, gloomy guy. [Wh...oops.] I totally didn't mean any offense, but that bear-thing wouldn't take 'no' for an answer. Look, he tore my shirt! [She takes off the communicator so she can show him her arm. Which is bleeding a little but clearly fashion is more important.]

[nedofpies]

[ Well that... takes the wind out of Ned's sails, abruptly. From the sound of it she wasn't talking shit about robots like Daneel, but rather just the mechanical bears in the woods, which he can't really blame her for. ]

Oh.

[ He is visibly backing off, only just now realizing how irrationally intense his response had been. Protective, much, Ned? ] Well, yes, of course those things won't let you leave. They're there to keep us captive. [ And she's injured and now he feels pretty awful for letting his temper get away with him. He ought to know better than this. ] Sorry. Touchy subject. Um, is your arm okay?

[bluesrat]

There's a button on the side... but it's a useful way to connect with people. [The face that shows on her screen in narrow and a little haggard, but friendly.]

Also you should maybe take a few deep breaths. I'm not sure I know the answers, I've only been here a few days, but apparently people come and go at random here, and not of their own volition.

[rulebreaks]

Kind of got that part, smarmy guy. But... thank you. For the button thing.

[bluesrat]

[He looks a little taken aback, hurt, even, to be called smarmy. But he rallies, trying to be helpful anyway.]

...Sorry. I guess I'll let you know if I can figure out the why and how of our getting here, or a way out.

[goodluckkobra]

Fuck you. Robots are fucking boss. You're just jealous that you're not as cool as robots are.

[ And if she hurts Daneels feelings, he will totally make her his new enemy now that things have mellowed between him and Sharon.

There's a pause and then he smiles. ]

Hi, I'm Kobra. Welcome to Steal-All-Your-Friends-Ville. It sucks.

[rulebreaks]

Not when they're dating my mother they're not. [It's instant, she rolls her eyes to clear the ouchy hurt feelings.] And I meant the bears, anyway. Not--But I get it, you have robot friends. It's a free... weird alternate dimensiony space.

Buffy. That's me. I'm Buffy.

[goodluckkobra]

I only have one robot friend, but he's the only robot friend anyone will ever need. Just FYI. And I don't think he's dating your mom... or anyone.

[ Have a shrug. ]

Nice to meet you, Buffy, and, uh, I'm not dating anyone, either.

[ He waggles his eyebrows. ]

[hung_garian]

To extend your simile juuuuust a little further, the peanut butter in question is apparently stuck to the roof of an alternate-you's mouth, and it's stuck there indefinitely. Possibly until TPTB decide to kill it or send it back to the peanut butter jar - which is more gross in the simile than in Real Life - or possibly until it's eaten by the very offended robot bears who, in this simile, also live in the mouth of alternate-you.

[He pauses - he's not sure that that made any sense to anyone other than him - and then gives a very tiny but also very smug smile. Good. Making sense is no fun at all.]

[rulebreaks]

So... time is frozen at home? That's. Actually probably the first good news I've gotten all day. [They speak the same terrifying language. Send help.]

[hung_garian]

Yeah? Well, I can give you some more while we're at it. Half the folks stuck here ought to be in straitjackets, and I'm pretty sure our charming hosts should be too.

[manofiron]

When they're trying to kill you, robot bears definitely suck. They'd probably be pretty cool if they weren't.

[rulebreaks]

It's hard to see past the 'killing you' part, if I'm completely honest.

[manofiron]

I ever get my hands on one long enough to reprogram it, you will.

[mentis]

[ He ... isn't quite sure what's happening only that there are a lot of words coming out of her at a very alarming speed. ]

Are you quite all right?

[rulebreaks]

Uhm. All my body parts are in tact and - a-tact-ched. [Okay that was a stretch, even for her. But she smiles, even if it is a bit weary.] I'm going to guess by your Britishness and tweed that you're library-guy. I hope that isn't, you know, more stereotyping for me to get scolded for. But you seem like a library guy to me, already.

[mentis]

Very much so, yes. [ Have a charming smile, Buffy. ] Though more Professor than librarian. My name's Charles, Charles Xavier. And you?

[thezerothlaw]

[Despite Ned's overprotectivness, Daneel's reaction is quite different. He's used to people who don't like robots, after all.]

I am sorry for any unfortunate interactions you may have had with robots in the past, miss, but I promise that I do not intend harm to anyone here. The situation is quite the opposite, in fact. I am here without any say of my own, as everyone is, and if I must be here then I intend to be as much help as possible.

[rulebreaks]

That's the team spirit I like to hear. As long as you're of the good robot variety, I think we'll get along just fine. And you know, if you ever turn evil... That you won't hold it against me for finding the kill-switch.

--But that goes for all my. Friends. Not that.

Can we start over? I'm Buffy, and I have foot-in-mouth disorder.

[thezerothlaw]

My name is Daneel Olivaw. I don't believe I have a "kill switch," as you put it, but I also suspect the sort of cascading failure necessary to turn me "evil" would destroy me long before I could accomplish anything. I am bound by the Laws of Robotics, and the First Law states that a robot may not harm a human being, nor through inaction, allow a human to come to harm.

It is a pleasure to meet you, Buffy.

voice;

[hexappeal]

What about Spill Gal? Though Spill Lad has a nice ring to it, but I'm afraid I don't fit into the criteria that would make me lad and not gal.

voice;

[rulebreaks]

It could be an ironic name. Like Angel. [Oh wow that was a bad kind of spill. She's not even going to try to explain herself she just looks super UNSURE] ...Um. What I mean to say is, any gendered spill will do. As long as there's spilling, and someone stops me before I say something pertaining to spillage and gender again.

video

[greatatboats]

[ Clint's back at the house and resting in the attic by now. He's tired and still in quite a bit of pain. He's trying desperately to space out the painkillers he got from Ned until he can get around on his own. Right now he kind of requires a chaperon to get around the house in case he topples over and can't get up turtle style. The babying is a little annoying, but he's a little touched by how much his housemates actually seem to care.

He was in and out of sleep when he heard her start in on metaphors. His eyes were barely open and she was already talking about the robot bears. Clint sighed heavily and swallowed hard. His face was still mangled, but it was better than yesterday when he woke up walking in the woods. Least he's not longer openly bleeding everywhere. That's a start.

After another moment Clint moved to sit up and focused on his communicator. He squinted at the screen and licked his lips. ] You're stuck. Yadda yadda. Blah blah. Welcome to your new home. My only advice is try not to die.

video

[rulebreaks]

That's good advice. You're a little late, though.