Martha's 7th - Day 115 - Video (Private to the Doctor)

[notrosesshadow]

[Video - Locked to the Doctor]

[Martha knew he didn't like her. He liked Rose. Was infatuated with Rose. The only time he wasn't infatuated with Rose was when he was human. And without his memories. Then he fell for someone else. It hurt that in both Time Lord and human body, he would never like her.]

[Still, it was a bit of a shock to see him falling for someone else. Someone who wasn't her. Of course it made sense. Martha hadn't been around here as long as he had. Different timelines. It shouldn't bother her. Everything should be fine. But it did. Now she needed time to sort out her feelings. So she called him. She needed to see his face as he said it. Taking a deep breath, Martha switched her communicator to video.]

Doctor? Can I ask you a question? I need a truthful answer.

Comments

[nevermindtherunning]

[The video pops on, and the Doctor's face is smudged with some dirt, grease, oil, or all the above when replying. His suit jacket is discarded somewhere and his sleeves are rolled up with his tie a bit disheveled.]

Yes? What is it, Martha?

[He had been wandering about outside in attempts to find clues to a bigger picture, and then had been tinkering away at the electric box attached to the houses.]

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[She was not expecting to see him looking like that.]

What are you doing?

[The question comes out much as her questions always do on the TARDIS. One part curious, one part what the hell. Then she remembers why she's calling him.]

No... that's not it. Not the question. I was wondering... do I stay with you when it's all over?

[nevermindtherunning]

I still can't figure out how the fuses weren't working properly during that power outage and... Sorry?

What do you mean by 'when it's all over'?

[His brows are knitted and mouth ajar in confusion at her words.]

[notrosesshadow]

[Yes, he's definitely from further ahead. Not that she should be wallowing. Martha definitely needs to move past it. And she will. But it's still the forefront of her mind and the Doctor has other things to think about. And maybe she didn't clarify properly.]

When we stop Saxon. Do we keep traveling together?

[nevermindtherunning]

You know I can't answer that, Martha...

[He takes a swallow and wipes his forehead with a swipe of his arm. He had been uncharacteristically hot at the moment.]

But we do see each other. That much I can offer up right now.

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Can't? Or won't?

My entire life is put on hold right now Doctor. And you know, it's stupid. Just bloody stupid that I'm even this angry about it. Because you're from ahead of me. And you've been here longer. It makes sense.

But it's never going to be me is it?

[nevermindtherunning]

Can't... Erm, I'm sorry?

[He's obviously clueless about what she's referring to. ]

Not you for what, exactly?

[notrosesshadow]

For you! First it was Rose. And then Joan. And now Mina. And don't deny it Doctor. I have eyes and a brain. It's why you took me on to be your companion in the first place.

But I'm still going to always be wearing that perception filter. You're not going to see me... not the way I want. And it hurts.

And I can't even get it to stop hurting because I see you every day.

[nevermindtherunning]

[His mouth is stuck open. A good 20 flies could've come in at this point. He had not been expecting this at. all.]

Oh Martha Jones. You...

[How he wanted to tell her that even though he didn't see this at all, she does indeed have a future, and most certainly with someone.]

I'm really... It's not...

Quote from Last of the Time Lords

[notrosesshadow]

[Martha watches him closely, hoping for an explanation. Something to give her comfort. But all she gets is a stutter. Silence. She turns away.]

You see, it's like my friend Vicky. She lived with this bloke in student housing. His name was Sean... and she really really loved him. Completely adored him. Spent all day talking about him but he never looked at her twice. I mean, he liked her. That was it.

And she wasted years pining after him. Years of her life. 'Cause while he was around she never looked at anyone else. And I told her, I always said to her, time and time again, I said, "Get out."

But I can't do that here. I can't get out. You're always going to be here, a few houses away. Stuck on this island. And there's always going to be another Rose, or Joan, or Mina.

[nevermindtherunning]

[Tragically, and expectedly, he wasn't sure how to respond to this.]

I'm really not that great, Martha. I'm not what you want... Really want.

[There's a sigh, as he gives in.] You find someone back home, and maybe even someone here, but it's not me. It's... You're my friend and will always be my mate... and I've been rubbish to you, I'll admit that.

[notrosesshadow]

[Martha really wants to hurl a bottle of pills at him. Who the hell is he to tell her what she does or doesn't want. She closes her eyes when me mentions she finds someone else. She can't imagine finding someone else. Who else was there? She was so busy traveling with him...]

We stop traveling. That's the only thing that makes sense.

[Martha stares at the bottle of pills in her hand. Which cupboard were they supposed to go in? Right... second cupboard, first shelf. She puts them away.]

You're my best mate Doctor. You'll always be my best mate. But I need some time. I need to figure out how to not define my life by you. How to not run to you first for help. How to... mend.

[nevermindtherunning]

You do mend, and you meet other people. We meet again, you and I, and... thank you.

[It was strange speaking to Martha, hiding information from her, but he also wondered if Donna would blurt out information as well.]

For what it's worth Martha, I'm sorry.

[notrosesshadow]

[She's not sure what he's thanking her for. She wants to ask, but she knows she shouldn't. Martha's breath does catch when he apologizes.]

Be good to her Doctor. Mina. Make sure she knows what she's getting into. And don't leave her if Rose shows up here one day.

[nevermindtherunning]

Rose... won't show up. Hm, that seemed a bit final. She's fine; quite fine, really! Just I doubt she'll ever show up.

[He'd like to think she was safe, sound, and happy with his meta-crisis Time Lord self. But his expression does change one to serious and he nods, taking in her words.]

[notrosesshadow]

[Martha shrugs.] I'm not the one who'll be affected by whether or not she shows up. That much is clear. I just don't want to see my best mate get hurt nor my co-worker.

As for us... can you... would you give me space for a while. Not that we can get much on an island. But... it'll be easier if I'm not always...

[It's not coming out right. She wishes she could just leave and know he won't be back unless she asks for him.]

[nevermindtherunning]

[There's a silent nod.]

Yeah... I will. But if you need something, call me, yeah?

[notrosesshadow]

Of course Doctor. And when I do, you'd best come running.