cape_kore | 002: Ring ring, phone call for Mrs. Harvelle

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002: Ring ring, phone call for Mrs. Harvelle

Open because Stiles can't work the comm properly yet.

Uh... hey, is that Ellen?

[Behold Stiles' most charming smile. Which is actually pretty darned charming, considering how much practice it's gotten with getting him out of sticky situations.]

So, I was talking to a guy who said that talking to you would be a good place to start if I was looking into learning how not to get my ass kicked. Because not gonna lie, that would be useful information for me to have, considering my history.

I'm Stiles, by the way.

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Raphael. I spoke to him on the...

[He jiggles his wrist.]

We were talking about - see, in my town, werewolves are a thing. And sometimes other stuff, like scaly were-lizards and psychotic druids. And here's me, The Human, and mostly I run away a lot.

I'd like to not do that any more.

Raphael.

[Shit. The archangel is meddling in her life again. Wasn't dying because of one enough? Obviously not.]

Werewolves huh? How many hearts are eaten on the full moon?

[She reaches back and pulls over a notebook that she's been using.]

Alright, what do you want to know?

[He gawps at her.]

Oh my god, none! I mean beside that one Omega, but that was just one time!

[She snorts.]

Kid, werewolves eat the hearts of humans on the three nights of the full moon. Only way to stop them is a silver bullet to the heart.

[She's hunted a few in her time.]

After you shoot them, they revert back to human. It's how you know you hit the heart.

Now, what exactly did you want to learn? Protection sigils? How to kill things? Hex bags? I need to know where to start.

[Stiles looks unabashedly scandalised. Stricken.]

Dude. My best friend is a werewolf. He's never eaten a single human heart - I don't think he's even killed a bunny - and if anyone tries to shoot him, I swear to God I will set their ass on fire.

I want to learn how to fight. Anything you can teach me that'll help me protect the people I care about.

[She just looks at him. Then, she waves to a stool.]

Sit down. First thing you need to know: basic principle of anything supernatural. Salt, holy water, and silver takes care of almost everything.

Okay.

[He nods, trying to assimilate this new knowledge and get past the 'kill all werewolves' philosophy his new Yoda is sporting.]

What constitutes 'holy water', exactly?

Holy water. Blessed water. Stuff they use in bad horror movies to 'cast out' things.

[Come on, he has to know this, right?]

You know the right Latin and you can make it yourself. I put some in the moonshine.

Yeah, I know what it is in the movies, I just meant... because I don't know if you always carry a Catholic priest in your purse, but I don't. I didn't know if you just, you know, wave the sign of the cross over it or-

[He gestures as if to say 'like you just said']

-incant some Latin, or if you had to go full rob-the-church-font.

My line of work, robbing churches, morgues, funeral homes? It happens.

[She finishes writing in the notebook.]

This is the Latin for holy water. Find a cross, put it over the water and speak the words. It'll cleanse and purify the water. Leave the cross dangling in the water for a couple hours after.

Right... uh...

[He squints at it a moment. Yeah, he has no idea how to pronounce any of that, but he figures Lydia would be glad for this information as well, so he can kill two birds with one stone - and also have an excuse to spend some time with her.]

I'm usually the getaway driver. But if I have to, sure, why not. Dead people don't tend to get that offended.

Dead man's blood slows down vampires. Makes them sick and gives you a chance to get out of the way and come back with reinforcements. Bones of the innocent come in handy for protection spells. And graveyard dirt comes in handy for the same reason.

[She cocks her head to the side.]

What are you looking to protect yourself from?

As many things as I'm likely to face.

[He grimaces.]

A druid was dicking around with old magic in my town, which, fun times, is on top of an ass-ton of ley lines. So, we think she might've disturbed something. Like, amped up the power? Turned it into a beacon for the weird. I just wanna be ready.

[Ellen sighs. Then she pulls out another notebook and a pencil.]

Sit down, kid. We're going to be talking awhile. We'll start with the ones that are easiest to get rid of and go from there.

[She sips her water.]

How squeamish are you?

Uh, on a scale of one to ten? Ten being "Oh god blood hey I'm unconscious"? I'd say about a three. Maybe two. Not a lot fazes you when you've seen actual brain matter.

...I'm just bad with needles. Like, really bad. Needles aren't likely to become a thing, are they?

[She snorts.]

How about digging up and burning corpses?

...Can't say that's one I've ever had to do... Guess we'll find out if it ever comes up.

[She smiles a little.]

Ladies in white, ghosts, nasty hauntings, ghost killings - best way to end them is to salt and burn the corpse. They're you're most typical things. Nine times out of ten, they're what you're dealing with.

Ghosts. Great.

[Beacon Hills has had more than its quota of violent deaths over the past year or so. Stiles thinks they could do without those spirits getting restless.]

So, ghost-remedy is salt and burn the body. Shake and bake.

[Saying it out loud helps to lock it into his memory, and he nods.]

Demons are the latin and the holy water.

[She chuckles.]

Boy, I grew up in this. And sometimes, it still amazes me that this stuff goes on and that more people don't know about it.

[She nods.]

Shifters and werewolves are silver. Vampires, decapitate. Don't try that fancy stake through the heart. There are things you stake, but vampires only die if you remove their head.

[His mouth flattens out at the mention of killing werewolves - he kows more than enough ways to do it, but it's something he doesn't think he'll ever be okay with.]

What about holy water with vampires? Or like, sunlight? They don't... sparkle, do they?

Holy water gets the wet and sunlight makes them cranky.

[She shrugs, pouring herself another glass of water.]

Hit them with an arrow dipped in dead man's blood and they'll get sick and it'll slow them down. The only thing that kills them is fire and chopping off their heads. And if you're going to set them on fire, better make sure they don't get back up.

[She finishes sketching a few things and then turns the notebook around.]

These are protection symbols. They'll keep out just about anything. Or trap it until you can kill it.

Fire kills most things, by the sounds of it.

[He takes the paper, examines the symbols.]

And when you say 'almost everything', you mean like... vampires, ghosts, werewolves...?

[He aims for casual, knows he never quite pulls it off. Using these kind of symbols recklessly could end up causing a lot of trouble in the lighthouse... or hilarity.]

[She raises her eyebrows. He seems really worried about werewolves. She'll worry about that later.

Her finger runs over the individual symbols.]

Demon. Get them in this, and they can't get out until you break it. There's one here, so this'll come in handy for her.

This will keep out most ghosts, women in white, things like that. Something with enough strength will get past it, but anything like that, you're going to need to find and salt and burn the corpse fast anyway.

This is general protection. Something like a dream catcher, keeps out the bad vibes.

There's a demon here?! Oh my god what the hell?

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