004 | Audio

[lightgunhustler]

[Jo's voice sounds oddly restrained when it comes out over the network, cautious and uncertain as though she's swallowing something down, holding it back. She doesn't trust herself to use the video function at the moment-- and honestly, considering what she has to say, it doesn't seem appropriate.]

It's been a couple of days since I've been able to get in touch with my mom.

[For anyone else, a couple of days might be negligible, but she and Ellen have been damn near inseparable since Jo's arrival. Even after moving to the research center, they'd lived together, kept close tabs on each other.

Two days without any sign of Ellen was bad news.]

I'm not holding my breath. Pretty sure she's gone.

[And for them, going home doesn't mean much. What was there to go back to?]

I just-- I thought people oughta know. She had a lot of friends here.

Comments

[audio]

[wolfofmidgard]

I'm so sorry, Jo.

[What's worse is, she can relate to suddenly getting a family member back and then losing them again. It's useless to ask if Jo is all right; of course she isn't.]

If there's anything I can do, please let me know.

[audio]

[lightgunhustler]

I appreciate it.

[Somehow, it feels like an underwhelming response, but what else can she say? She's not even sure exactly what she feels right now.

She should be happy, shouldn't she? Going back means going to Heaven, if her sources are worth anything, but...

But she's never been without Ellen before, unless it was by choice. Even then, it wasn't for long.]

It happens all the time, right? ... I should be glad that she got out.

[audio]

[wolfofmidgard]

It's not always so personal when it happens.

[Friends are one thing. Family, and honorary family, is another. Being happy that someone has gone on, or isn't suffering anymore, does not take away your grief on the subject. Meja isn't even sure that everyone leaves this place, wherever it is, when they're taken, but that's not what you tell someone who just lost someone.]

She might come back. We've had a lot of that, as of late.

[audio]

[lightgunhustler]

Knowing what she's going back to is what makes it worse.

[Because she just can't wrap her head around Heaven at this point. All she can think of are the inevitable scorchmarks left behind by that explosion. The ash, the debris. Nothing there that's recognizable.

Nothing left to bury. Not even enough for a hunter's funeral.]

You have a point. There are a lot of people turning back up, but--

[But what if the person in question is dead?]

Just feels kind of like a longshot.

[audio]

[wolfofmidgard]

Perhaps. But as everything else is as much of a longshot, there is no reason to close that door, just yet.

[It's not healthy to sit around and wait, but there's no need to write it off completely, in Meja's mind. Stranger things happen on a regular basis.]

If I hear anything different, you'll be the first to know.

[More information would come in handy right about now.]

action

[tryingitall]

[He knew, in some subconscious fashion, that Ellen had left. Between one thing and another, though, he hadn't really acknowledged it. Distraction? Partly. Partly he was hoping she would come back before he had to deal with the implications of her vanishing.

His first, strongest impulse, is to just...not respond, and he can rationalize that by convincing himself Ellen wouldn't want a big fuss made. But Ellen also took him under her wing, as it were, called him family, and he knows what she would expect from him, in her absence.

Strange to feel more affection and duty for a human than he does toward some of his siblings.

After a lull of several minutes, he appears next to Jo. Possibly she won't appreciate the intrusion on her mourning, but this really needs to be said face to face, not over the network.]

I'm sorry. In more ways than one. [And he means that.]

I'll try not to be overbearing, but your mother was very good to me. Anything you need, even if it's trivial, you call on me, and if I'm capable, I'll answer. [That's not a promise an angel makes lightly, but it's the least he can do for Ellen.]

[action]

[lightgunhustler]

[Under different circumstances, his sudden appearance might have startled her. She wasn't exactly used to angels and their comings and goings, but right now, she doesn't even have it in her to comment, too focused on the notebook she keeps turning over and over in her hands to let the rustle of wings surprise her.

She grimaces when he speaks, looking up and trying to manage a smile but failing miserably. Sometimes she can force her way through the hurt and be brave, put on a smile and bear it. Now is not one of those times.]

She thought of you as family.

[That much had been passed along. Jo liked Balthazar, too-- she wasn't as close to him as Ellen was, but that doesn't mean he's going to lose his place now that her mother is gone.]

That-- that still stands, okay? I'm not her, but she would have wanted to look out for you. So that goes both ways. There might not be much you'd ever need from a human, but-- I'm here.

[action]

[tryingitall]

I know she did. [He looks for a place to sit, briefly, fails, and opts for leaning against the wall, arms folded across his chest.] She said as much. And truly, that's more open affection than I've ever gotten from most other angels.

She was rather an extraordinary woman, you know. [Is? Was? Hard to say; she's vanished once, she may return, but it's better not to hope too much.]

And you're clearly your mother's daughter. [He smiles, weak but sincere.] I'll keep it in mind. Thank you.

[action]

[lightgunhustler]

Yeah. She really was.

[A part of her hates that she's default to past-tense, but-- what else is there? Ellen going home means that Ellen has gone back to that sticky end, and whatever's waiting beyond it.

She smiles wryly in reply, and while it's weary and a little thin, it's genuine.]

You know, a few years ago, I would have hated to hear that. Now, I'm happy to take the compliment.

audio;

[unionjackass]

... I've only just arrived the other day, so I didn't know her but-- I'm sorry.

audio;

[lightgunhustler]

Thanks. If she were here, you probably would have met her. Had a habit of mothering the new arrivals.

audio;

[unionjackass]

The way you say it, I really ought to agree. Though, I'm a bit too old for that. [Shut up England you're a mama's boy.]

My name's Arthur--Arthur Kirkland. It's a silly offer since I've hardly been here any time at all, but--if you need any assistance at all, with anything, I'd be very glad to lend a hand.

audio;

[lightgunhustler]

Wouldn't have mattered how old. She all but adopted an angel at one point.

[That was just her way. Looking out for everyone, not matter who they were.]

... appreciate it, all the same. Jo Harvelle.

video » private

[intraining]

[ so on a list of things that charlie would ever want to hear on the network, this would rank up there pretty high. right along with 'you're actually dead' and 'dean's gone'. it's one of those things that charlie doesn't really find herself thinking about until it happens, and then she gets videos like this and it's jo and-

god. she knows what's waiting for the harvelles back home. she knows. ]

Jo- [ but what could she say? what does she say? for someone who words usually come so easily, charlie's a little lost for them now. ] I'm sorry.

video » private

[lightgunhustler]

[There's a long pause before Jo replies, debating whether or not she wants anyone to see her in her current state. She's already had her cry, and while tears aren't falling anymore, her eyes are red and her face is definitely tearstained, though she drags the back of her hand across her eyes before switching the video on.

It's Charlie. She's okay with Charlie seeing.]

... thanks.

[It doesn't feel like enough, but she's not sure what else she can say. Nothing feels like enough right now.]

She really liked you, you know.

video » private

[intraining]

[ seeing jo crying - or not really crying, but in after-state which is just as bad - is like taking a punch to the gut. it pains her almost as much as anything else. even more so.

what does she even say? ]

She was- is - really cool. Like. So much cooler than the books make her out to be. [ she stops for a little bit before she continues again, not even sure what she's doing. ] You okay? Not like okay okay because that'd be kind of stupid to ask but- [ wow charlie you wanna try again? ] Do you want someone to come by?

video » private

[lightgunhustler]

She is cool, isn't she.

[She forces a smile. It's not easy, but she manages. Not many kids are willing to admit how cool their parents are, but Jo is over taking Ellen for granted. She'd done that for way too long.]

Mind if I take a raincheck? Think I need to be alone for a little while, but-- I thought people should know.

video

[venatical]

[ Things haven't been easy between them, and they're still rocky, but Dean can't not say something to her now. They're still family. If he'd been uncertain of that, her mom would've told him otherwise, and probably smacked him upside the head for even doubting it. ]

I'm real sorry, Jo.

[lightgunhustler]

[There's a long pause before she turns the video on to match him, debating for a few moments whether or not she should brave it. Her face is tearstained, but any crying has long since ceased. She's had time to get it out. For now, she's all out of tears.]

This place is crappy. I shouldn't wish she was still here.

But being here is better than being dead.

[venatical]

No, I get that. [ He's seen Heaven. It wasn't bad. Especially Sam's, he guesses. He's had a hard time getting over the fact that he wasn't in Sam's Heaven, but then when he keeps bringing Sam back -- He wonders who it's for sometimes, but only briefly. ]

Being here, being with you. It's what she'd want, too.

[lightgunhustler]

I should probably just count myself lucky that I got a second chance with her at all.

[How many other people could say the same about their lost loved ones?]

video

[hung_garian]

She's gone? Sweet Jesus, that's awful. Tragic, even. I'm not sure how the community can survive this loss. Where are we gonna get our booze now?

[He'd considered sympathy, but - evidently - decided against it. As it is, snark seems a better solution. It's his usual solution for most things, anyway.]

video

[lightgunhustler]

[While she wasn't initially planning to go video with any of this, she turns it on specifically to give him a very flat, very pointed look that says nothing short of are you for real right now?]

Glad to hear that's all she was worth to some of us.

video

[hung_garian]

Oh, not all. I'm sure she had other virtues... I was a big fan of her trapping and torturing customers technique, for example. That one was a real crowd-pleaser, huh?

[His tone remains affable and pleasant. In a way, that just makes it more offensive.]

video

[lightgunhustler]

[As cheerful as he might be, he definitely just touched a nerve.]

She didn't torture Meg, and Meg is not a customer.

[There's obviously one hell of a grudge there.]

She had every right not to let the thing responsible for our deaths into the bar. Our home.