cape_kore | 001 | Anna Miton

Didn't know what? Where they would take me? What they would do with me?

[ She's trying so hard to remain calm, but it's not really working. Anna's angry, that much is obvious, and though her voice is quiet and controlled, there's an edge to it that gives her feelings away. ]

I'm sorry, but you knew exactly what you were sending me to. You knew, and I trusted you and you gave me up to them. What could I Ben have been doing that was such a threat to his plans that he had to wipe me out?

I didn't know you were right!

[His voice is rough. He should have helped her. He should have left with her.]

They were wrong. Everything they were doing was wrong and I didn't know. Shortly after that, I left. I rebelled. I should have listened to you.

Well at least you realised that, shame it couldn't have been before you sent me to their prison.

[ She's more bitter than she would like, but she's too tired to care. She's been imprisoned for longer than she can comprehend, and the first person she sees when she finally escapes is the one to send her there in the first place. ]

They used you, you know. Your voice, your image, to taunt me.

[He closes his eyes.]

Anna...

[He doesn't deserve to be here. He deserves to be in Purgatory. He deserves to be chased down and destroyed.]

I don't think I can fix any of that.

[ She softens somewhat as she watches him, and then just sighs. She presses a hand to her forehead lightly and when she brings her gaze upwards again she's at least les angry. Exhausted, bitter, frustrated and hurt, but she's not attacking him at least ]

It's okay. Look, I understand why you did it, and it's too late to change anyway. It was just-

[ She cuts herself off, shaking her head. There's no need to explain to him how unpleasant re-appropriation is. ]

I'm out now. What's done is done.

[Castiel had had his own lessons to learn when they'd accused him of getting too close to Dean. He imagines that Anna's were far worse and he doesn't even know what to say.]

I sometimes wonder if any of this was worth it.

[ It's too easy to feel sympathetic, too easy to slip back into her well-known role of his mentor, and she has a sad smile tugging at her lips as she speaks. ]

If what was worth it? Rebelling?

I've hurt so many people... so many of our brothers and sisters and the world is no safer than it was then.

[Part of him knows that it was worth it, but there are so many regrets and mistakes that he can't do anything about.]

You're not the only one who's wondered that. I have, a lot.

[ She's not sure what he means exactly by hurting their brothers and sisters, but she'll ask later. If she tried now she'd probably end up pointing out that they deserved whatever it was, and she's sure Castiel doesn't want to hear that now. ]

Things were much simpler back then, it's true, but it's always worth it Cas. The decisions you've made, bad or good, at least they were yours. Not some absent Fathers supposed orders.

Did you know that you were taking on this kind of responsibility when you chose to fall?

[He shakes his head.]

I never even knew what I was really fighting for. I just knew that Dean thought it was worth it.

We weren't fighting when I fell. I thought I could just live out a normal, human life. That's all I fell for, not this cause.

[ And how naive a thought that had turned out to be. All she can do is sigh and try not to think of that life, how it had been upturned. ]

I neer wanted to be a part of this war, but we do what we must. What do you know now? Do you think it was worth it?

I know some of it was. I hope the rest was, too.

[Castiel doesn't really understand her want for a human life. It's nothing he's ever even considered. He never wanted a human life. He wanted to improve life for them, not take away what they were. Maybe he'd been chasing something impossible.]

I'm sorry that you couldn't have that. You deserved it.

That's what matters, that you thought it was worth it. All I ever wanted for you was the chance to think for yourself.

[ She misses it, more than she'll ever admit to anyone. Before she'd started hearing the angels her life had been perfect, heart aching and painful at times but everything that she had wanted. Now, she's not sure what she wants any more. ]

I don't think I did. It was selfish, I should have stayed. I could have done more good that way, I chose the easy way out.

[ Not that it had exactly been easy.Falling was never intended to be. ]

You said yourself that you didn't know about the fighting yet. I don't think you were selfish for wanting to be happy. None of us could have understood at the time, though.

[He understands now, but he also understands that some people will never be happy and it's often the people who have worked the hardest and suffered the most.]

I could have helped all of us, not just myself. I might not have known about that war, but we've all been around long enough to know what Heaven is like. I left you all to your fates so I could get my perfect ending.

[ It's not often that she'll admit to her regrets, but special circumstances mean a brief exception. That doesn't mean it's exactly easy, though. ]

I shouldn't have left you. I'm sorry for that.

I never held that against you, Anna. I didn't understand, but I wasn't angry at you. Our Father should have given us the choices that you wanted.

[Maybe then they all would have been equipped for... any of it. They would have been able to think for themselves. All of them.]

[ Anna's not sure where her feelings about Castiel lie any more. Somewhere along the lines it's blurred between anger and guilt, bitterness and regret, and it's not so simple any more. ]

He should have, but He should have done a lot of things. What's in the past is in the past.

[ ...Or the future, but that's neither here nor there. ]

We've all done things we're not proud of, Castiel. That in itself is not a thing to be ashamed of.

[It's a little harder for him, he thinks. A little more complicated, maybe. He's done so many awful things and each tops the last. He's not sure he'll ever really get past it.]

You're right. I suppose we must only learn and move on.

[It's a lie. He'll bury it the way he knows Dean does, because it's the only way.]

It's all anyone can do.

[ It's hardly helpful advice, but it's all she's got to give. It's hardly like she's the poster child for dealing with issues that arise; Anna's biggest life decision has centred around running away from a problem rather than trying to fix it. ]

Still. Circumstances aside, it's-

[ What, exactly? Good to see him? Awful? She gives a tight smile as she continues. ]

I'm glad you are doing alright. This isn't how I expected to be running into you again.

I hadn't expected this, either. I... I'm glad you're here.

[He's glad she's alive, even if there's something strange about the fact that this is some earlier version of Anna. Maybe that makes it better. It's the Anna he should have helped, not the one who tried to kill Sam and Dean's parents.]

I'm glad I'm here too, I'd rather...

[ She trails off quietly, and then just shrugs. She's very glad to be out of that prison and anywhere but there, but that doesn't exactly make these circumstances any easier. Being better than angelic prison isn't exactly hard to achieve.

Instead of continuing, she just flashes a lazy, almost amused smirk.]

It's alright here, all things considered. After all, you're here and you've actually got a head screwed on your shoulders now, it seems. What more could a girl ask for?

Many people would argue otherwise.

[He smiles a little, though. Despite everything, he does think he's doing better now than he had been before Purgatory. Having Anna and Balthazar here helps and he thinks he could get used to Gabriel, too.]

Perhaps... we can both start over.

Start over, sounds idyllic.

[ Her smile is nowhere near as sarcastic as her words, and the genuine grin on her face betrays her hopes for something close to that far more than she cares for. ]

Do the people here know about angels? I...don't know how comfortable I am telling others, just yet.

I have only been honest with Mina as to what I am, though I have not hidden that I'm not human.

[He pauses.] She's help me a few times. I trust her.

Mina. I'll bear that in mind.

[ She's clearly uncomfortable, it's not like she enjoys what she's about to ask. It feels sneaky and underhand, but until she has a better idea of what is going on she doesn't want to draw too much attention to herself. ]

I don't expect you will but all the same, I'd appreciate it if you didn't...tell anyone about me. At least until we know more about what is going on, anyway. Please.

001 | Anna Miton | [Audio only]

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