[VOICE]

[primogen_vampirate]

[Exactly twenty four hours after her last disaster of a post, Mina's back on the system.]

I'll spare everyone any speeches about "no good deed goes unpunished" or "if you can't do a job right, don't do it at all."

Effective immediately, I shall be resigning from my position at the clinic. I leave you in Doctor Banner's very capable hands.

[Locked to Carter and Coulson]

I tried, darlings. I really did. I will, of course, still happily lend my hand to any matters of the supernatural you face.

God help anyone in this place who ever needs a blood transfusion.

[Locked to Castiel and Gabriel]

I'll thank you gentlemen to keep the rest of the representatives of your world the hell away from me. I took a goddam bullet for you, Castiel. And this is the thanks I get. Disrespected and all but announced to the entire world as a vampire by a gaggle of oversexed alpha males.

Comments

[hung_garian]

I'd be much obliged if you'd refrain from castrating him, even if it is awful tempting sometimes.

[primogen_vampirate]

So he means something to you, then?

[hung_garian]

Yeah. I'll talk to him about appropriate behaviour, don't worry. He's just acting out - I won't bore you with all the sordid details, but let's just say he has his reasons. That, and he's a dick.

[Not an insult, not even quite a joke. He's well aware that the entire lot of them are a bunch of assholes.]

Might be able to get him to behave, anyway. And if I can't, uh, try not to maim him too bad, 'kay?

[primogen_vampirate]

I don't need you fighting my battles for me.

Just keep him out of my sight and I won't shoot him in the balls.

[hung_garian]

Gotcha. I'll pass on the message. He's pretty attached to 'em, so that oughtta work.

[primogen_vampirate]

If he was so attached to them, he shouldn't have been such a prick.

I'm going to assume it was Castiel, and not you, who was the rat and told him about me.

[hung_garian]

I don't kiss and tell.

[primogen_vampirate]

Your brains also weren't smashed like a melon.

[hung_garian]

If they're in danger of becoming so, I'm going to kill him.

[primogen_vampirate]

Ha!

[She is clearly working herself into a frenzy.]

And the nerve of those...those children. I save their friend and this is how they treat me? Like an enemy?

[hung_garian]

Have they stabbed you yet?

[primogen_vampirate]

No, but I'm sure that won't be far behind now that I'm gaining the epitaph of "Miss Bloodsucker."

[hung_garian]

Eh, they don't listen to anything Balthazar says. Even if they did, they'd probably just assume he bought you dinner and you didn't put out.

[primogen_vampirate]

Well, apparently, I'm on my period, so that's understandable.

[She makes a frustrated noise and something in the background clatters.]

[hung_garian]

What can I say, he watches too much TV and he's never been a woman. Tell you what - he has a sister. I'll set her on him. Happy?

[primogen_vampirate]

A sister? Here?

[She pauses a second, connecting the dots.]

Anna.

[hung_garian]

Please tell me she hasn't pissed you off too.

[primogen_vampirate]

Good God, there are three of them here?

[hung_garian]

Yep. Like the musketeers.

[primogen_vampirate]

Someone should rewrite Shakespeare.

"Hell is empty and all the devils are here."

[hung_garian]

Trust me, there's plenty more where they came from.

[primogen_vampirate]

I know the Bible. I believe it.

[hung_garian]

Then I imagine you know that getting on their bad side would not be your best idea ever. I mean, I for one like your eyes where they are. And intact. And not bleeding. You see where I'm going with this?

[primogen_vampirate]

I wasn't the one who started the pissing match, dear.

No good deed goes unpunished.

[hung_garian]

I'm not exactly the expert on good deeds, honey. I'll take your word for it.