Bruce Banner | 001 | Video

[greenisnteasy]

Hi. My name's Bruce Banner. I'm a doctor and a scientist. Not to flood everyone with information or to alarm anyone, I feel like I need to say a few things.

If you could gather up the medicine you find in your house and bring it to the pharmacy in the middle of the town, that'd be appreciated. You're welcome to keep a small supply of your typical things, like aspirin, but it'd be a good idea to centralize everything else.

Clearly whoever was living here left in a hurry. Keep an eye on yourselves for signs of illness, including radiation sickness, in case there was a biological reason for the evacuation. Nausea and vomiting are going to be your first indicators that something could be wrong radiation-wise.

I could make a Geiger counter or something similar to test the radiation levels, but I need some electronic parts, and I can't seem to find any except for these cameras. And I don't really recommend taking those apart unless you like getting electrocuted and blacking out.

[That had been fun, and by fun he means he was incredibly grateful that he hadn't Hulked out.]

If you find any parts that don't give you a shocking experience, could we share?

Um... Keep calm and carry on. [But no really, he hopes they can avoid some The Monsters are Due on Maple Street style panic.]

Comments

[greenisnteasy]

I completely believe the situation is hypothetical. Shoot.

[onteamdyson]

Wow. Ouch. One sentence in and you already doubt the authenticity of my hypothetical situation. [But she's grinning.]

Okay, so say some people, not necessarily people here, potentially were to eat some pie without checking said pie first. How long would it take for them to hypothetically know if they'd been poisoned and were destined to die? Is it the same timeline as eating death-soup? Because then I'd... hypothetically have a rough estimate.

To give to them.

The two people. That aren't me and someone else.

[greenisnteasy]

When didn't you and someone not eat some pie? Also please at least tell me you hypothetically checked for mold.

[onteamdyson]

Yesterday, and if we had eaten any, it would have only been because it looked delicious and very un-moldy and it probably would have tasted like heaven on a fork.

[greenisnteasy]

Poison can take anywhere from a few hours to a few days to take effect, and considering we're all currently eating the food... I guess we'll find out soon enough. Your first clue's probably going to be gastrointestinal distress -- you know, the stuff you take Pepto Bismol for. If you do get an upset stomach, it might just be food poisoning, too.

You know, if you ate the pie, which you didn't.

[onteamdyson]

Exactly. Completely hypothetical.

[She smiles even wider. This guy is alright.] Thanks for your unneeded medical expertise, Dr. Banner. It would probably be appreciated if we'd eaten untested poisoned pie. Just a heads up? Asking people to share their parts might be sending the wrong message.

[greenisnteasy]

The best medical expertise is unneeded medical expertise. [Look, an honest comment!] Happy to help, Ms...?

And, well. That's the burden of being this hot. [Says the greying man who looks his age of 40-some and has kind of a pooch and is currently wearing a worn-in, wrinkled shirt.]

[onteamdyson]

Kenzi. Just Kenzi.

[Hey, some chicks dig the distinguished look. Plus, he's a doctor. And kind of hilarious.] If you need me to fill in as crowd control, just let me know. I'll beat the ladies off ya, doc. Might even do it for free.

[greenisnteasy]

Wait, are you a pop star? I might be out of the North American loop.

[onteamdyson]

............................. Do I LOOK like a pop star?! Really!? Really?! I mean I did used to play drums for... [Nate. Oh, Nate. She couldn't call him her boyfriend and calling him her ex hurt too damn much. She clears her throat and shakes her head with what she hopes is an amused-looking smile.]

No. Definitely not a pop star. Just not a fan of last names.

[greenisnteasy]

I don't know. You have the... [He gestures to his face.] Face.

That's cool. I can dig it. [Totally groovy.]

[onteamdyson]

[The face. THE FACE. Ffffffffffffff. Oh my god this guy, he is hilarious and she wants to add him to her collection of sassy older dudes.]

Okay, that's it, this right here? This moment right now? This is us being friends and you're just gonna have to deal with that until we all inevitably break the hell out of here and go back to our respective places of origin. Deal?

[greenisnteasy]

[The worst part of the secrecy identity thing is that he can never be friends with someone who doesn't know. Not really. He's barely friends with the people who do know. And that kind of fake friendship is hard when the girl seems sweet and hilarious and full of the kind of life that Bruce can feed on vicariously.]

Oh, is that what this is? I thought this was unneeded medical advice hour. [He smiles.] Friends sounds tolerable. Hey, haven't I seen you living at the big house closest to the lighthouse?

[onteamdyson]

That ended like... four seconds ago. Clocking in the friendship card right the hell now.

[She looks mildly surprised, but the smile remains.] Bruce! Are you stalking me? Yeah, I kinda decided to crash there when they weren't paying attention. Phil seems cool with it.

[greenisnteasy]

Not really. At least, not on purpose. I'm your neighbor across the way. With no TV, I don't have much to watch except what's going on outside.

[Total lies, he was definitely spying on who's living in that house.]

[onteamdyson]

Oh cool! I can borrow sugar from you and come over for coffee and then we'll laugh when we realize there's no sugar for said coffee because I borrowed it all and then laughter will turn to tears and someone may lose an eye...

Maybe we'll just skip the sugar-borrowing. Good to know you're there in a medical emergency, though. I promise I'm way more entertaining in person. You won't even miss TV!

[greenisnteasy]

[She's already pretty entertaining, and he's grinning into his communicator by the time she finishes.]

The sugar borrowing does sound pretty dangerous. Let's save it for whenever our captors make an appearance. They'll never know what hit them.

[onteamdyson]

Oh, they're gonna know what hit them. I'll even give them a hint in the form of one of N'SYNC's hit song titles. It's gonna be me.

[And now that she just can't hold it in any longer, it's time for everyone's favourite game show... SERIES OF ANNOYING QUESTIONS!]

Are you really a scientist? Are you friends with Bill Nye? Have you ever seen a radioactive bird of prey? If a radioactive animal bit a human, would that human get super powers?

[greenisnteasy]

[Ha, what? N*SYNC? He's still recovering when the questions start.]

I wish I was friends with Bill Nye, or that I'd seen a radioactive bird of prey, and I'm sorry to say that that kind of thing only happens in comic books.

I can certify all of that knowledge with the fact that I am, yes, a scientist. Are you a really big five year old?

[He's grinning though.]

[onteamdyson]

... I accept these answers and counter your question with a huge NU-UH! In hindsight, probably not helping my case.

[Oooooh, he's good. She likes this one. A LOT.]

Despite your lack of radioactive falcon experience, you just made the top of my go-to science guy list. You can expect me to start hanging around you, trying to absorb your science and being generally awesome in general as of .... tomorrow. One last question!

Zombies! Fact or fiction?

[greenisnteasy]

[He feels similarly. Of course, he can't let himself get too close, despite the temptation to hover -- well, apparently, let her hover in his space -- just so he can siphon off some of his own tension.]

I'll have your time card ready by then, so be sure you punch in.

At the moment? Fiction. Sweet dreams.