Kenzi [007] Accidental Video --> Audio

[onteamdyson]

[The video turns on as Kenzi cracks the screen with a jagged shard of glass. The communicator is still on her wrist, filming the ceiling of the upstairs bathroom. The mirror has been shattered and most of the glass pieces have fallen to the floor, but a few remain in the frame. The hand that holds the larger piece is covered in blood. She appears to be sitting on the edge of the bathtub.

She swears and mumbles something in Russian before bringing the shard down again. The video cuts out.]

HA! Fucking-- try it now, you crusty, wrinkled-ass, bitch. Two down... a billion to go. Break the mirrors in your houses! Smash the hell out of them. Do it. It's the only way to keep her out-- [There's the sound of the shard hitting the floor and Kenzi cries out.]

Hale? Hale, you know what I'm talking about, right? You totes remember! ... Hale?

Comments

audio;

[stiling]

Whoa.

Kenzi, you, uh - [ Cue a worried and vaguely tired sounding Stiles. ] You okay? Dude, were you bleeding?

audio;

[onteamdyson]

Yeah! I'm fiiiine. [Not so fine, Stiles.] Just saving the world from creepy old ladies. No big. Babycakes, can you do me a huge favour?

audio;

[stiling]

You... sure? [ Yeah. Not so fine. ] But yeah, sure, or. It. Depeeeeeends on, [ how crazy, ] the favor.

audio;

[onteamdyson]

Ditch your mirrors. Take them outside and break them. Don't even LOOK at them. And don't have a bath! No baths. Only showers. Also... spoons! Spoons are reflective. Not good. No spoons, okay? PROMISE.

audio;

[stiling]

[ Egads. ] Whoa. Promise. Okay? Showers, no mirrors, and sworn off cereal, [ ha ha HA like there's even cereal, ] for like a month. You heard it here first.

My turn to ask you something?

audio;

[onteamdyson]

[Yes. Okay. Good. She is satisfied that her precious Stiles will be safe and not eaten. It could happen! He kind of looks like a pretty girl if you squint your eyes, that bitch would probs try it.]

Yeah, shoot. Anything. Go.

audio;

[stiling]

[ EXCOOS U HE DEFINITELY LOOKS LIKE A PRETTY GIRL ]

Um. --Explain?

audio;

[onteamdyson]

Oh. Right. Ha! Kind of forgot that part... [What with all the blood loss and such.] Baba Yaga. She travels through the mirrors. Totes bogus. Got her own realm and everything-- it's so not fun there and there are WAY too many potatoes and a giant oven and the door has a nasty habit of biting people! What the hell.

audio;

[stiling]

Baba Yaga. [ He repeats the name with a passing recognition. ] I feel like I've heard that from somewhere. That's a folklore, right?

[onteamdyson]

YES! Yes, oh my god! You know about her?! [Oh, Stiles. Do you hear how happy you just made her?]

[stiling]

I -

[ have a best friend who is a werewolf and have been attacked on several occasions by a giant lizard dude and as a consequence find any and all supernatural crap fascinating?? ]

- read a lot. Is that what this is all about? ...Also, were you serious about that spoons thing?

[onteamdyson]

... Same here. [The reading.]

YEP! Every good, little Russian girl knows about her. Ssssoooo do the bad ones. [CoughKENZIcough] And I might have royally pissed her off, so I'm not taking any chances. Yes, spoons! Anything with a reflection. It's faster than taking the bus.

[stiling]

[ Well, that sounded- like a suspicious agreement, he's squinting, Stiles is squinting at her. ]

What does she do, exactly? Like, what's supposed to be her m.o? Come on, humor me.

[onteamdyson]

[Just gonna get all up close and whispery] She eats girls that don't do what they're told. Legit shoves them in an oven after ruining their entire life and cursing people they care about. But before the oven, she makes them do CHORES. Because they were bad girls! I'm fucking DOOMED, dude! Not sexy, doomed, I know I just kind of made it sound like a porno, but it's so not hot.

1/2

[stiling]

Dude! --That does sound kinda like a porno, but that's messed up!

Does she, like, eat them after or does she-

[stiling]

[ cue record ripping noise ]

Uh.

Why do I have to worry if it's girls.

[onteamdyson]

[Stilespls.]

Because she's old, has fucked up eyes, and you're too pretty to not get snatched up like an adorable entree. I'm saving your ass, Stilinski. You owe me.

[stiling]

...Thanks??

[ He thinks. ]

One more question? -Why's she here?

[onteamdyson]

... Uh. [Well.] Because!

[Yep. That solved everything.]

[stiling]

Because... of reasons?

[ YEAH KENZI YOU REALLY CLEARED IT UP THERE THANK YOU ]

Kenzi.

[onteamdyson]

STILES! [She is so mature.]

... I ... may have ... pushedherintoherownoven. Ahem!

[stiling]

You fucking what-

[ oh right he's not supposed to believe in this junk, and he lowers his voice about three octaves. ]

I mean- really? No. What?

[onteamdyson]

[And she's not supposed to be telling people!]

Never mind! Not important. Just ditch the mirrors and hide, okay?

[stiling]

You totally think you brought her here, don't you?

[onteamdyson]

I-- ... Yeah.