003 | Tony Stark | Audio

[manofiron]

[ Normally Tony would ramble on for a while, but he’s a busy guy lately and he really doesn’t have the patience to beat around the bush. ]

Not to rain on the gluttony parade, but does anyone else question trusting manna from heaven – figuratively speaking – after the whole “drug our air with hallucinogens” incident? Or is that just me being paranoid?

Comments

[gloryisbullshit]

Nah, but Tony. Tony baby, this shit is poisoned.

By snakes.

With poison.

Relax, it's food.

[manofiron]

Well, yeah, we don't have to start eating each other yet. That's great. But I don't know. Maybe someone should have tested it first?

[gloryisbullshit]

I mean, I just tested it with my face a little while ago, so. Seems good, if I'm any kinda test sample.

[manofiron]

No visions? Weird noises? Loss of motor control? Trouble thinking? Granted, maybe you wouldn't notice if you were affected, but I gotta ask, right?

[gloryisbullshit]

[Wouldn't notice!] Maybe I am hearing weird noise, because I coulda sworn you was throwin shade just now. You tryin t'read, Mr. Stark?

[Video]

[thelittlestbub]

Nah, be paranoid. It's the right way to be.

[Of course, she has Logan, so if he doesn't get surlier than normal, then the food's okay.

... She might not have told Logan that.]

[manofiron]

I'd think so. But hey, when in Rome, right?

[thelittlestbub]

Eh, back home it wouldn't even be a question. It'd be 'toss at the scientists to double check and then hunt our own food'. But then, we're all paranoid.

[manofiron]

Paranoia's what keeps you alive these days. Here, at least. Eh, home too, probably.

[hung_garian]

No one likes a cynic, pal.

[manofiron]

And here I've been, thinking that my awesome personality's been intimidating people for the last forty years.

[hung_garian]

I know. It's always so tragic when you realise you've been living a lie all your life.

[manofiron]

That's what alcohol's for. Easing the transition.

[stiling]

Yeah, I guess on the scale from one to cannibalism, getting to the pretty freaking wigged out section of the program didn't spare too much time thinking about the backlash.

[manofiron]

Guess that's why I'm here. To be the dose of doom and gloom making the whole experience that much worse.

[stiling]

There's worse positions to hold. You could be the one dropping in the food.

Still, there's not really been any backlash from it yet, right? No crazy people killing each other in the streets. Yet.

[manofiron]

Not yet. Not ever, I hope. If this turns into a screwed up version of Twenty Eight Days Later I'm going to be so unhappy.

[nevermindtherunning]

Gluttony aside, not everything was edible in those crates. Rather, I was tangled up in a nasty bout of spiders.

...Unless you're interested in eating them, then be my guess. Only careful when heating them up, as they proved to be a bit flammable.

[manofiron]

I hear that's something people do. Eat spiders. Wasn't ever my thing, though. Honestly, it sounds disgusting.

You burn them all or are we going to have an episode of Kingdom of the Spiders soon on top of everything else?

[nevermindtherunning]

I burned a good portion of 'em - the bigger ones. I think some of the smaller ones got away, perhaps in the woods. Nasty little buggers!

Although, interesting fact, their venom is partly composed of Acetic acid!

[manofiron]

So get the spiders, extract the venom, refine it a little, and have ourselves a handy supply of acid. Okay.

Now we just have to find ourselves an arachnophile or two.

[agentx13]

Paranoia is justified here. I know for a fact that some of those bullets are rigged. I think they damaged my gun.

Have you heard from anyone?

[Anyone, meaning anyone in their group. She doesn't hold out any hope, but they've got to hear something from Steve eventually, right? Not that Sharon is worried. Steve can take care of himself?

But who is she kidding. Steve can nearly always use someone watching his back, no matter what version of Steve she's dealing with. As for the rest of SHIELD, Barton, Natasha, and Coulson are still missing. The only one who seems to be doing all right is Dr. Banner, oddly enough. Perhaps the one from their universe is more grounded than she'd previously thought.]

[manofiron]

Yeah, see? What am I telling everyone? If it seems too good to be true, it is. Especially here.

[ There's a reason he's using audio only, and she's part of it. He's gone this long without talking to her about Steve. Chances are, she already knows, but if there's even the slimmest chance that she doesn't, he's not going to be the one to tell her. Or talk about him at all. ]

Why? We doing roll call now?

[agentx13]

Would be nice. I just- I dropped the ball with Coulson. I don't want to do it again if I can help it.

[And she won't say so, but she wants to hear if Tony has heard from Steve at all. He may not be her Steve, but she'd still feel better for knowing. And she suspects Tony would know about him before she would.]

[manofiron]

Coulson wasn't a child. He didn't need a minder. It was this place. Not you.

[ Which in the language of Tony Stark means that if anyone's to blame for not keeping an eye on Coulson, it's him. ]