004 | Tony Stark | Video

[manofiron]

[ Although he’s not exactly smiling, Tony’s expression is blandly neutral, relaxed, and his voice is friendly. ]

Normally I’d have my assistant – I guess technically she’s my CEO now - handle the whole public relations thing, but she’s not here so I guess that leaves me doing it myself. Unless I have a volunteer from the audience? No? Didn’t think so.

[ He glances away from the camera for a second, almost like he’s looking at a list. ]

Stiles, I got your bow and arrows here. Any time you want me to stop by and get them, feel free. Alternatively, I can be persuaded to play delivery guy.

Sharon. You wanted some new toys? I got a couple for you.

Party Poison. Not to be confused with the lovely Poison Ivy. We have a bet, right?

[ Twisting his wrist, the video blurs and comes into focus on a large sabertooth tiger reclining on the living room floor like he owns the place. At the attention, he lifts his head, flattens his ears, and lazily bares his teeth. The video blurs again, coming to rest on Tony’s face, who’s utterly unfazed by being threatened by hundreds of pounds of formerly extinct cat. ]

Meet Stanley. And start the countdown.

[ Flashing a smile, he starts to lower his wrist, then pauses and lifts it back. ]

Oh, right. And one more thing before I forget.

[ Anyone who knows Tony might know better here. Might realize that he wasn’t going to forget and has in fact been building up to this the entire time he’s been talking. ]

“Hot Hands.” [ He even makes the air quotes with his free hand as he smiles, like everything’s all friendly like. Much like Stanley, though, it’s really a baring of his teeth. ] Listen. If you touch Bruce again, I’ll break them. And then my big green friend won’t have to show up to beat your ass into the ground. Capiche?

Comments

[manofiron]

He can probably hear it. His senses are sharper than ours. At least, I think so. I mean, if it wasn't for the Iron Man suit, he'd probably call me Heart Attack. Or something equally less than manly.

[ The imagery of the Hulk smashing him makes him laugh, the sound quiet and fond. ]

He won't smash me. Technically, I don't think he'd try to smash anyone. Not unless they were hurting him. He likes people, he just... When you're that strong, I think you forget that not everyone else is too. But yeah, I found him in the woods. We growled at each other, stomped around, usual male bonding rituals.

[rigging]

[ He snorts at that. Heart Attack. ] I dunno, that could be badass if y'frame it the right way.

[ But okay. That's good to hear, and Jesse clears his throat a bit. It's none of his business, really. He won't ask. ] Sounds like a lotta fun, that. M'glad someone knows how to handle him. [ A beat. Right. Change the subject. ]

... Are you really keeping one of those cats as a pet? Cause, y'know. One nearly ate me, I wouldn't be all that keen.

[manofiron]

[ As far as Tony's concerned, it's not really all that difficult to handle the Hulk. He just treats him the same way he does everyone else. It seems to work out all right. ]

Well, I thought that with weapons being so scarce, we had to use what was available, right? There are a ton of animals in the woods, and maybe what we can't have in metal for guns, we can make up with teeth and claws. And an extra set of eyes and ears keeping alert for threats can't be too bad either.

[rigging]

[ He makes a good point. ] Huh. Guess that makes a lotta sense. And makes you a braver fuckin' soul than me, I wouldn't turn my back on the guy. Cat. Th'fuckever.

You name it?

[manofiron]

Desperate times, right? That's all it is.

[ He rolls his eyes, though it's at himself as he says; ]

Stanley. It's... It's a long story.

[rigging]

[ He snorts a little. ]

Points for the least threatening name I ever heard. Long story as in actually long or long as in 'I don't wanna tell you'?

[manofiron]

Mostly, it's a long story because I don't actually know how the hell it happened. You know when you're just bullshitting and something sticks? It was kind of like that. Saying it's a long story at least makes it sound like it's full of drama and action-packed Michael Bay explosions.

[rigging]

Man, a lot of shit happens that way, just joking and it sticks. But hey, it ain't so hard t'make a Michael Bay trailer, though.

"In a land where batshit crazy scientists have total control over a town's citizens, one tiger rises up t'fight them off. His name?" [ He makes an explosion noise: ] "Stanley." [ Annnnd he's laughing at himself and his dramatic announcer voice. ]

[manofiron]

[ That sets Tony over the edge into hilarity so fast that pretty soon there are tears pooling at the corners of his eyes and he has to struggle to catch a breath. ]

I stand corrected. Stanley's Michael Bay approved.

[rigging]

[ He's still giggling himself when he answers. ] Fuck yeah he is.

[ A beat, and now he privates it, because he doesn't know if it's a secret or not. ] Ay, look, I know you will, and I know I don't gotta tell you twice or even once, but. Take care'a Bruce. [ He rubs at his nose a little. ] He's really fond of you, yeah? You guys got each other.

[manofiron]

[ Tony gives him a smile, genuine and warm. ]

Don't worry. That's probably the only thing no one has to tell me. He'll be fine. Once all of it sinks in, once he realizes that everybody isn't going to abandon him or try to kill him because of what he is, he'll be okay.

[ The smile gets a lopsided. ]

I hope.

[rigging]

He will be. He's gotta be. [ He's important to too many people. ] We just gotta support him. And nobody's gonna try t'kill him.

[manofiron]

No, they won't. Not unless they want to unleash something truly terrifying.

He'll get past this. Everyone will.

[rigging]

Yeah.

Lemme know if you two need anything, yeah? I mean, I ain't much, but I can do something, even if it's just tellin' everybody you're busy or whatever.

[manofiron]

I will.

Thank you, Jesse. Really. It means a lot. To both of us.

[rigging]

Ain't even a problem at all. [ Excuse him while he preens a little. ] See y'round. [ And the feed cuts off. ]