004 | Tony Stark | Video

[manofiron]

[ Although he’s not exactly smiling, Tony’s expression is blandly neutral, relaxed, and his voice is friendly. ]

Normally I’d have my assistant – I guess technically she’s my CEO now - handle the whole public relations thing, but she’s not here so I guess that leaves me doing it myself. Unless I have a volunteer from the audience? No? Didn’t think so.

[ He glances away from the camera for a second, almost like he’s looking at a list. ]

Stiles, I got your bow and arrows here. Any time you want me to stop by and get them, feel free. Alternatively, I can be persuaded to play delivery guy.

Sharon. You wanted some new toys? I got a couple for you.

Party Poison. Not to be confused with the lovely Poison Ivy. We have a bet, right?

[ Twisting his wrist, the video blurs and comes into focus on a large sabertooth tiger reclining on the living room floor like he owns the place. At the attention, he lifts his head, flattens his ears, and lazily bares his teeth. The video blurs again, coming to rest on Tony’s face, who’s utterly unfazed by being threatened by hundreds of pounds of formerly extinct cat. ]

Meet Stanley. And start the countdown.

[ Flashing a smile, he starts to lower his wrist, then pauses and lifts it back. ]

Oh, right. And one more thing before I forget.

[ Anyone who knows Tony might know better here. Might realize that he wasn’t going to forget and has in fact been building up to this the entire time he’s been talking. ]

“Hot Hands.” [ He even makes the air quotes with his free hand as he smiles, like everything’s all friendly like. Much like Stanley, though, it’s really a baring of his teeth. ] Listen. If you touch Bruce again, I’ll break them. And then my big green friend won’t have to show up to beat your ass into the ground. Capiche?

Comments

[video] - omg you actually named it Stanley.

[onteamdyson]

Hot Hands? [She's got a theory here and she's not sure she likes where this is going.] Can you legit break stuff without your super suit?

how could I not? it was a FANTASTIC idea!

[manofiron]

Cute name, isn't it?

[ No. No it isn't. ]

That's the great thing about being a genius. With the proper motivation, I can do damn near anything.

[ And where Bruce is concerned, he's got plenty of motivation. ]

[onteamdyson]

Yeah. Adorable. Kinda familiar, though. [Kobra, what the fuck did you even do?!]

So the genius hand-breaking only happens if you get a repeat performance, right? It's not some vengeance-seeking vendetta?

[Video]

[bostonhowler]

Big green? That man in the woods is a friend of yours? Is he okay?

[manofiron]

Tall guy? Kind of pissed off? Yeah. He's a friend. And he's fine. Kind of shook up, but we talked and he's okay now.

[bostonhowler]

Yeah, that's him. I ran across him in the woods and talked to him for a bit.

[He called her puny.]

I was worried about him. I'm glad he's okay.

action

[greenisnteasy]

[ Bruce sees the message and decides it's time to come out of his room, which is more like a darkened cave of self-loathing and angst than a room. It's hard to move, like it actually hurts to move into the room; he feels like he should be braced for an attack at any second, and not from Stanley either. Tony's side is safe, though. Hopefully their house is safe too, but Bruce knows that isn't always true. ]

Hi. [ He's pale and tired, but he has a smile for Tony. ] Do you want some company while you make threats to the network?

[manofiron]

[ Seeing Bruce is a relief, even if he looks tired and pale. It isn't a look Tony particularly likes on him, but the fact that he's out of his room and talking is a positive sign. Especially when he smiles. ]

Sure wouldn't mind.

[ He holds out his arm, beckoning him over to the couch. ]

I could upgrade them if you want. You know, actual vigilante vengeance instead of not at all empty threats?

[greenisnteasy]

No, no. Please. There's been enough violence.

[ He'll take the invitation to sit next to Tony though, and at first he sits next to him on the couch like normal, but then he reevaluates Tony and decides to press up against his side and put his head on his shoulder. ]

Has he answered yet?

[Private]

[reluctantsword]

[He... had a feeling that something particularly unusual had happened. Had to be the case.]

How's Bruce holding up?

[Private]

[manofiron]

Well... That's— [ Hiding in his room for hours is probably bad. But he's come out, so that's good. ] —complicated.

Do you want to talk to him? I can put him on the, well, I can tell him to call you? Or whatever it is.

( audio )

[rigging]

[ He doesn't really mean to reply at first, but. ] "Hot Hands"? [ That. That sounds bad. ]

[manofiron]

Yeah.

[ Tony sighs, shoves down the flare of irritation even thinking about it provokes. ]

The Hulk doesn't really ask for names. He just sort of makes them up as he goes along. It's cute. Usually.

[thelittlestbub]

You want some help with that hand breaking? Because I could totally go for that.

[Because damn does the Hulk scare her. She chews on the end of a pen.]

I'd ask why you - okay, no, I'm going to ask why you have a kitten.

Also, tell Banner if he still needs help in the clinic for anything, I'm still available.

[Which is Jubilee for 'Not shunning him'. Or something.]

[manofiron]

Right now, I think hand breaking's on hold until the second infraction.

The cat, though. That's... Security precautions. We need them, right? So I went with what's available. Big ass sabertooth cats scare the shit out of us, I figure they'd do it to our enemies, too.

[ He smiles just a little at that last. ]

Will do. I'm sure he'll appreciate it.

[ Audio - Private ]

[goodluckkobra]

I didn't--Hurting him wasn't what I wanted. I like him more than most of the people here.

I know I fucked up.

[manofiron]

So why don't you tell me what happened. In your words, instead of the Hulk's.

[ video - private ]

[foundacause]

Seems like the sabretooth is the pet of choice around here. [ Says the demon with one sat on her lap. Of course, it's still a baby in comparison, and she's probably not supposed to have it in the house... ]

Also, that big green moron your friend, is he? Well you tell the Jolly Green Giant that if he wants to go around smashing up my angel's property that I will find him and I shall tear his lungs out through his nostrils.

[manofiron]

[ Aw, that's actually kind of cute. And he's about to ask how she's got hers so calm and cooperative when she goes and threatens the Hulk, and suddenly all bets are off.

The smile he gives her is razor-sharp and not the least bit amused. ]

You can try, honey, but it won't end well for you. Because you can't hurt the Hulk, but he can hurt you, and once he's done, if there's anything left, then you have to deal with me.

And I promise, you'd rather deal with an angry Hulk than an angry me.

[video]

[agentx13]

[The expression of love - or at least, platonic approval - dies on her lips as she sees the tiger, and she takes a deep breath before answering Tony's message. Cheerful, Sharon. Ish.]

I see you got a new pet that can kill you in your sleep. Has it tried yet?

[manofiron]

Not yet. Hard to imagine, isn't it?

[ He grins, all insufferable arrogance. ]

Guess he likes me.

[ No he doesn't. He really doesn't. ]

video;

[mentis]

I honestly don't know which of these statements to address first. [ Charles looks a little baffled but then again, he's British, he's always like that. ]

I'm torn between asking about the interesting choice for a pet or inquiring over the man I met the other day. He called himself the Hulk but I rather got the impression that wasn't the whole story. Is he all right?

[manofiron]

[ It's almost like talking to JARVIS. A politer, non-naggy JARVIS. ]

He is. He's not—The Hulk can't really get hurt. Not physically. He was upset when I found him, but I got him calmed down. Might even go so far as to say that when he clocked out, he went happy.

You want to meet him on a non-angry day, I'll try to set something up. It just, after this, it might take a while.

video; oh god this is so late

[stiling]

[ Stiles face draws back into something of a grimace. ]

That all depends on how hot a maid outfit I'd have to don for said persuasion. I mean, walking's good for my heart and all anyway, right?

[manofiron]

I actually meant something more along the lines of "I'll give you a beer if you bring it over instead" than maid outfits. But hey, good to know you're amenable to hot maid outfits. I bet there are plenty of people here who'd go for that.