004 | Tony Stark | Video

[manofiron]

[ Although he’s not exactly smiling, Tony’s expression is blandly neutral, relaxed, and his voice is friendly. ]

Normally I’d have my assistant – I guess technically she’s my CEO now - handle the whole public relations thing, but she’s not here so I guess that leaves me doing it myself. Unless I have a volunteer from the audience? No? Didn’t think so.

[ He glances away from the camera for a second, almost like he’s looking at a list. ]

Stiles, I got your bow and arrows here. Any time you want me to stop by and get them, feel free. Alternatively, I can be persuaded to play delivery guy.

Sharon. You wanted some new toys? I got a couple for you.

Party Poison. Not to be confused with the lovely Poison Ivy. We have a bet, right?

[ Twisting his wrist, the video blurs and comes into focus on a large sabertooth tiger reclining on the living room floor like he owns the place. At the attention, he lifts his head, flattens his ears, and lazily bares his teeth. The video blurs again, coming to rest on Tony’s face, who’s utterly unfazed by being threatened by hundreds of pounds of formerly extinct cat. ]

Meet Stanley. And start the countdown.

[ Flashing a smile, he starts to lower his wrist, then pauses and lifts it back. ]

Oh, right. And one more thing before I forget.

[ Anyone who knows Tony might know better here. Might realize that he wasn’t going to forget and has in fact been building up to this the entire time he’s been talking. ]

“Hot Hands.” [ He even makes the air quotes with his free hand as he smiles, like everything’s all friendly like. Much like Stanley, though, it’s really a baring of his teeth. ] Listen. If you touch Bruce again, I’ll break them. And then my big green friend won’t have to show up to beat your ass into the ground. Capiche?

Comments

[manofiron]

Killing the neighbors is usually frowned upon. And frankly, I think we bigger problems to worry about. Hurting each other isn't going to get us anywhere.

[foundacause]

It's damn good fun though.

[manofiron]

When you've killed as many people as I have, the fun kind of gets lost.

[foundacause]

You say that like I don't have blood on my hands. Cute.

[manofiron]

Considering the sort of people who turn up here, I'm not surprised.

[foundacause]

These people? Practically puppy dogs and rainbows.

[manofiron]

Technically, rainbows don't have hands to get bloody. Bad analogy.

[foundacause]

No one likes a smart ass.

[manofiron]

Can't fight my nature.

[foundacause]

We could try a lobotomy. I'll bring my tools.

[manofiron]

Something tells me that wouldn't really work out. For you.

[foundacause]

Baby, you would't know what to do with me if you got your hands on me.

[manofiron]

Actually, I think I know exactly what to do with you.

[foundacause]

And what would that be, exactly, sugar?

[manofiron]

I don't like to make promises I won't be able to keep. And I won't be able to keep this one. So you're just going to have to use your imagination.

[foundacause]

Aw, that's no fun, I want to hear it from your own mouth.

[manofiron]

No can do. I'm not that cruel.

[foundacause]

I'm a big girl, I can take it. You can whisper it if you like.

[manofiron]

I don't know if I could live with myself if I did.

[foundacause]

Shame. I love it when a guy talks dirty to me. Maybe you just don't have the balls or the imagination to carry through.

[manofiron]

I have plenty of both. And no shame. It's a fantastic combination. I just have this other thing. Integrity. It's kind of like the internal fun police.

[foundacause]

Nope, sorry. Until I see some evidence, I'm going to believe you're a junkless wimp.

[manofiron]

Suit yourself.