004 | Tony Stark | Video

[manofiron]

[ Although he’s not exactly smiling, Tony’s expression is blandly neutral, relaxed, and his voice is friendly. ]

Normally I’d have my assistant – I guess technically she’s my CEO now - handle the whole public relations thing, but she’s not here so I guess that leaves me doing it myself. Unless I have a volunteer from the audience? No? Didn’t think so.

[ He glances away from the camera for a second, almost like he’s looking at a list. ]

Stiles, I got your bow and arrows here. Any time you want me to stop by and get them, feel free. Alternatively, I can be persuaded to play delivery guy.

Sharon. You wanted some new toys? I got a couple for you.

Party Poison. Not to be confused with the lovely Poison Ivy. We have a bet, right?

[ Twisting his wrist, the video blurs and comes into focus on a large sabertooth tiger reclining on the living room floor like he owns the place. At the attention, he lifts his head, flattens his ears, and lazily bares his teeth. The video blurs again, coming to rest on Tony’s face, who’s utterly unfazed by being threatened by hundreds of pounds of formerly extinct cat. ]

Meet Stanley. And start the countdown.

[ Flashing a smile, he starts to lower his wrist, then pauses and lifts it back. ]

Oh, right. And one more thing before I forget.

[ Anyone who knows Tony might know better here. Might realize that he wasn’t going to forget and has in fact been building up to this the entire time he’s been talking. ]

“Hot Hands.” [ He even makes the air quotes with his free hand as he smiles, like everything’s all friendly like. Much like Stanley, though, it’s really a baring of his teeth. ] Listen. If you touch Bruce again, I’ll break them. And then my big green friend won’t have to show up to beat your ass into the ground. Capiche?

Comments

[manofiron]

Think I'm really going to say no?

[agentx13]

[She doesn't bother saying anything more, merely turning off the feed and heading over to his place, her step sure and quick. She almost barges in, but given that he has a freaking tiger now, opts instead merely to rap her knuckles hard against the door.]

Tony? It's me!

[manofiron]

[ The tiger's in the kitchen, safely contained so that he doesn't start eating the guests. Tony's there at the door within a few seconds of the knock's echo fading away. Opening it, he waves her inside and on through to the living room. ]

Welcome to Casa... Well, there's a lot of us, so maybe that's not a good nickname for it. Anyway, come in, have a seat. Take a load off.

[agentx13]

You weren't going to say "Casa Stark," were you? [She kicks dirt off her boots on the porch before stepping inside and taking off her coat. She's almost tempted to ask who all they have in the house now, but she's far more interested in other things at the moment.]

A tiger? Tony...

[manofiron]

He's in the kitchen. Don't worry. It's fine. Seems like the only one he doesn't like is me.

[ There's an imagine that in his tone, slightly sarcastic and obviously not as surprised as he pretends to sound. ]

Besides, what's wrong with having a tiger? That kind of thing's all the rage in Hollywood these days.

[agentx13]

Can't you wait until you get to Hollywood to follow the herd? [ She hopes that's enough of a barb to get him going. The idea that Stark would follow instead of lead has to sting him, if only a little. ]

[ Just in case that isn't enough, though, she looks at him squarely and reminds him why she's there. ]

Toys.

[manofiron]

[ He gives her a flat stare, then rolls his eyes. ]

Yeah. Right. Hold on.

[ Turning, he heads into the kitchen. Stanley's there, and in the way, and after some muttering and the judicious use of food to distract the cat from trying to eat him, Tony returns with a large, shoebox-sized box that he promptly holds out to Sharon.

Inside, there are four small EMP bombs. They're not fancy, put together as they were with spare, crappy parts, but he did the best he could with what was available. ]

There you go. Don't use them all in one place.

[agentx13]

[She doesn't smile until he's turned away. Not even the smiles ghost remains when he comes back with the box. She studies the EMP bombs for several seconds before looking back, her smile returning.]

I could kiss you, Stark.

[She closes the box and holds it close as she grins at him.] Shame I have standards, isn't it.

[manofiron]

[ He clutches at his chest, feigning a mortal blow. ]

You wound me, Miss Carter.

[ Dropping his hands, he smirks at her. ]

Lucky for me, I have a national treasure who'll kiss it and make it all better.

[agentx13]

Time and Time again, Mr. Stark.

[ She turns her attention back to the EMP bombs, sizing them up and thinkng what precautions she'll have to undertake to keep them safe, then freezes. National treasure? She hadn't heard Dr. Banner referred to as that before. SHe frowns as she looks up at him. ]

You and Dr. Banner...

[ She looks over his shoulder toward the kitchen. Or does Tony mean his pet tiger? ]

[manofiron]

Hmm?

[ Her mention of Bruce throws him, and for a second he just blinks. Then he shakes his head, laughing under his breath. ]

No, Bruce is my treasure. The country's already got Steve, it doesn't get Bruce too.

[ Is that possessive? Maybe. After the whole business with the Hulk, Tony's less inclined to care. ]

I meant Steve.

[agentx13]

Yeah, well, when he gets back, I'm sure he'll kiss it for you.

[ Or has Tony forgotten that Steve is off hunting somewhere and might have disappeared, without any of them being the wiser? ]

[manofiron]

He probably won't. I told him it was his turn to make dinner tonight. I don't think he liked me trying to dodge dinner making duty.

[ He shrugs. He'd been dealing with the Hulk issue. He deserves a break from the travesty that's him cooking. They all do. ]

[agentx13]

Dinner? Tonight?

[ She reaches over and presses the back of her hand to his forehead. He doesn't feel feverish, but how is she supposed to know if he's delusional or not?]

Feeling okay, Tony?

[manofiron]

[ He frowns at her, leaning back away from her hand. ]

Are you feeling all right? What's your problem?

[ The obvious answer is that she doesn't think he can cook either. Which is true, he can't, but he can at least make basic things. Very basic things. ]

I don't know how incompetent the other guy is, but I do know how to make dinner.

[agentx13]

[ Her eyebrows go up. ] You know how to make dinner? You. Tony Stark. The man who thought food came from a magical machine until he was sixteen.

[ She waves her hand. She doesn't want him to believe that. ]

Kidding. But Steve- Tony, he might not make it to dinner. He's still hunting, remember? Nobody's heard from him.

[manofiron]

[ He wants to comment on that magical machine remark. He was four and Jarvis was playing a joke, when the rest of that catches up to him. ]

What? What are you talking about? He came back like four days ago.

[agentx13]

[ She freezes. ]

He- He what?

[ Is he serious? If he's serious, then it's conceivable that she's the worst spy ever.

Not that she cares if Steve is back.

It isn't even her Steve.

She can ignore the pain in her chest that accompanies the knowledge. ]

Is he all right?

[manofiron]

[ Tony didn't care either. He just made considerable progress with drinking himself to death and barely slept in favor of futilely combing the area for him. He didn't care about his disappearance at all. ]

Yeah. He's fine. He looked a little ratty, and he couldn't remember a damn thing about his disappearance, but otherwise he seemed fine.

[ He shrugs, tries to pass it all off with nonchalance. ]

I looked for injuries. I didn't see any.

[agentx13]

[ That doesn't necessarily mean anything. She frowns for a moment, then drops into a chair. She keeps the box in her lap; it's possible she won't be letting it out of her sight for a long time. ]

How much do you know about the super soldier serum?

[manofiron]

Obviously, I don't have Erskine's notes or his formula.

[ And thank fuck for that. It's good that Steve's in the world, but Tony doesn't believe that any others like him should ever be created. Not everyone is as good as Steve. ]

But I have my father's and I read over them after Fury told me we were going to be working together. It heals him. I know that. I fought with him. And it, you know, kept him alive in ice for seventy years.

[agentx13]

Has he been having nightmares? Insomnia? Working out more?

He works out more when he's upset.

[ Not that she cares. Because she doesn't. This isn't even her Steve. ]</small. If he's anything like the Steve I know, I mean.

[manofiron]

[ It's on the tip of his tongue to say that they all have nightmares, but that's giving too much of himself away and he's still operating on the pretense that if he ignores them, then that will somehow make them go away. ]

It always seems like he's busy, but... I don't know. I'll pay more attention. He did spend I don't know how long in with Stanley when he got back. I looked in and they were sleeping together on the bed. Does he do that? Sleep with dangerous animals?

[agentx13]

Not unless you count some of the women he's slept with. [ Bitter? Okay, maybe a little. Sharon had liked Bernie - as far as she was concerned, Bernie was wonderful. She couldn't say the same for Connie. Or Rachel Leighton. Or... several of Steve's flames. Even Sharon herself could be considered dangerous, given some of the things she had done. ]

[ She looks away for a moment as she tries to get herself under control. This isn't the same Steve. She has to remember that, no matter how hard it might be. ] But your Steve is different. Maybe he prefers tigers to women.

[ Oh, God. She closes her eyes. ] Or maybe we can just forget I said that.

[manofiron]

[ It's hard for him to imagine Steve sleeping with anyone. Not that he thinks there aren't people lining up for the opportunity. Far from it. It's just that Steve's attitude toward the world, and people especially, doesn't lend itself to easily imagining him with anyone. Especially dangerous women.

The tiger comment makes his nose wrinkle automatically, and he sniffs in disdainful amusement. ]

After all the times he's turned me down, if I find out that he prefers tigers, I'm going to be offended. And scarred for life. And possibly hurt in the ego parts.