☆ audio.

[hexappeal]

Hello there, young padawans. [Her voice is flat, almost to the point of disinterest.] I've been skulking about for a few days and I'll cut straight to the point: I'm pretty sure that I'm ready to leave now. [More emotion starts to present itself; frustration with the slightest trace of anger.] I get the whole "stuck" thing, but that's always such crap. Someone's usually behind that and they'll usually fold if approached the right way -- which in my case may very well be with a fist.

[She lets a little huff of air out, almost a laugh.] But I'm getting ahead of myself. So, how about this! I'll even be a good sport about it (if you could see me, I am smiling and not going to press any sort of interdimensional charges on you, I promise). I'm a busy woman with a cat to feed and a teenage cousin to roll my eyes at back home. Send me to my San Francisco and I'll forget this ever happened.

Comments

[hexappeal]

I can say things and act like they're true, too.

[hung_garian]

Really? You can? Well, this changes everything! All my life I thought I was the only one - it's lonely, you know, growing up as a freak. But here you are, saying there's finally someone else like me - I don't know what to say.

[hexappeal]

Don't say anything! Just... just show me!

[Then there's a pfft and a solid twenty seconds of laughter.]

[hung_garian]

Someone been at the nitrous oxide?

[hexappeal]

Sorry, it was too hard to keep a straight face.

[hung_garian]

Apology accepted.

[hexappeal]

Thank you for being so kind, generous, and receptive.

[hung_garian]

For you, sweetheart, any time.

[hexappeal]

It really would be hilarious if I was unattractive.

[hung_garian]

So long as you're not Hulk Hogan, I can't say it'd bother me.

[hexappeal]

I have a long, luxurious mullet and handlebar mustache.

[hung_garian]

[He considers that.]

But do you condition? Keep in mind that your answer here could be a dealbreaker.

[hexappeal]

Split ends all around! [A lie, her hair is flawless.]

[hung_garian]

What about the 'tache?

[hexappeal]

Prickly and poorly maintained. There might be flecks of food in it, too. I can't tell without a mirror.

[hung_garian]

Ooh. Sexy.

[The sarcasm is tangible.]

[hexappeal]

I'll let you trim it sometime.

[There is none present on her end. This time.]

[hung_garian]

Lucky this is voice-only, huh? I'm blushing like a schoolgirl.

[hexappeal]

For you maybe. I love watching a guy squirm.

[hung_garian]

Well, name a time and place and I'll be happy to perform.