Bruce Banner | 003 | Video

[greenisnteasy]

Hi. again. So we've been here four days now, and echoing some other messages, I think it'd be a good idea to consolidate our knowledge. So far, what have we found out about our surroundings?

[He adjusts his glasses, and is clearly reading from some notes he's taken.]

About the cameras, we know that they're everywhere, and if you disable them, they're replaced pretty soon. We also know it's a terrible idea to try to dismantle them, and also not the best idea to sit up and wait for the repairman, unless you like being mysteriously incapacitated. In which case I guess this whole thing's probably like a party.

We're still having problems tracing the cameras back to their source, aren't we? I haven't had any luck there, at least.

Okay... Cameras, food -- that's replaced just as quickly as the broken cameras.

As far as ourselves, there's all kinds of us from all over, sometimes from alternate universes of each other, some from the future, some from the past. No pattern's been found in who was taken or why, at least not yet. Right? Anyone? Bueller?

Now. Surroundings. The people who lived here before us left in a hurry, and they seem like your typical people. Not really a correlation between them other than that they lived here. Has anyone else found out anything our island getaway, something they'd like to share with the class?

Oh, and one more thing. [He tugs his glasses off, turning his focus back to the communicator.] It seems like it'd be a good idea to pool our knowledge in other ways -- like cooking, or swimming, or... [Self-defense? Probably a not a good idea to suggest that one, but he's thinking it anyway.] Anything else. I'm offering myself up; I'm no five star chef, but I can at least make something out of what seems like nothing and am happy to help.

Um... [He presses his lips together, and then nods.] Banner... out.

Comments

[onteamdyson]

Ha! Nice line, Bruce. Wonder where you heard that one.

[She'd like to think she's rubbing off on him. Such a good influence.]

Where'd you get your empty-fridge cooking skills? College?

[greenisnteasy]

War movies? [He grins.]

Yeah, it started there, but then became a life lesson. After a while ramen stops seeming like food and more like torture.

[onteamdyson]

Smartass. Everyone knows that's pretty much my signature sign off phrase. [But she's grinning right back. Damn his sass! It's infectious.]

Did you ever discover the rare delicacy that is five-day-old pizza?

[greenisnteasy]

I don't know what you're talking about. I distinctly added this slight inflection to my voice. The sign offs are completely different. [And now Ice Ice Baby will be stuck in his head, but he's grinning too.]

That delicacy isn't as rare as you claim. Also, even more motivation to learn how to work the oven.

[onteamdyson]

Give it up, Bruce! It's obvious you wanna be cool like me. You can admit it. I'll even let you have it because I'm such a kind and generous person.

[She raises an eyebrow, smirking wider.]

I happen to know my way around an oven. I may be a little rusty... [Really rusty. And she actually doesn't know her way around an oven. That con as a caterer didn't actually end with her absorbing any knowledge whatsoever. It did end in payment, though, so overall a success.]

We should do like... some potluck brainstorming session or something. Everyone makes something, we all get together to talk about ways to get out of here, everyone eats delicious food. There is literally no downside. Also, are you busy? Because I'm totally coming over. Clear your schedule.

[greenisnteasy]

I do want to be cool like me. You caught me. [He pulls a face, looking sheepish.] That means I'm uncool now, right? No one who tries to be cool is ever cool -- at least, that's what the media taught me.

That is an excellent idea, and oh. Okay. [He glances around quickly, but the place isn't too bad.]

I'll reschedule my appointments.

[preytosociety]

Oh, sure. No one listens to the young, impressionable girl based on her looks, but let a man in glasses say the same thing, and watch them all flock over to tell him how brilliant he sounds.

[If she sounds a little hurt, it's because she is! This is why she hid her brains at school. It was that much less painful when no one took her seriously.]

By the way, if you find anyone to teach a swimming class, I have the perfect student lined up and I'm ready to enroll him whenever they are.

[greenisnteasy]

I didn't yell or anything in mine either, but you're right on the adult white male thing. Sorry for my privilege. [It's kind of nice to be reminded that he actually has something to feel privileged about. For a while ten seconds before he feels bad about that.]

Oh, okay. One stipulation is that there has to be some consent to the taking of the swimming class. Crazy rules, I know, but there's a lack of consent around here with the kidnappings and all, and I'm looking to put out some balance in the universe.

[preytosociety]

Good. You should be sorry. Male-dominated society is a fallacy and also just plain stupid.

[The great and powerful Lydia seems appeased. For now. She smiles.]

Well, let's see, he willingly consented to almost drowning himself for seafood, so I think it's probably better if I make the decisions from now on.

[greenisnteasy]

No argument here.

[Oh good. A smile. He likes those better than angry faces on teenagers.]

Do you have the paperwork to become his legal guardian?

[preytosociety]

No, Dr. Banner, I do not. And I don't plan on acquiring it either. It's bad enough that I'm responsible for him by default, I don't want to be legally responsible for him after I get back home. Do you have any idea how difficult it is to explain why explosives don't belong in the house when he's running off to do something else every five seconds?

[It's very difficult, Bruce. Incredibly difficult.]

[goodluckkobra]

They all had terrible taste. Does that count for anything?

Also if we can find something that I can actually use to hack into the cameras or the network, I can try to get some answers, but so far I can't find anything with useful parts. Oh, and I am okay at building explosives. They left us with supplies for that. [He looks a little too excited.]

[greenisnteasy]

If that's the correlation, then I think I know why I'm here.

[Fantastic.]

Let's wait on the arson until we have something to burn other than our own shelters. I, too, am okay at building explosives, and as hard as it might be to hold back that urge, you should really try.

[goodluckkobra]

Okay, one, arson and bomb-making are totally different and you should know that as a rocket scientist. Two, I'm not a pyromaniac. I was just offering my skills.

[He grins.]

Three, you were obviously brought here for your good taste. I like your shirt. [Finally some color.]

[greenisnteasy]

They are, but both tend to end with fiery destruction. I'm less of a rocket scientist, more of a nuclear physicist by way of medical research, so pardon my lack of clarity there.

[He glances down at his shirt. It's a replacement of the purple on he'd destroyed on the helicarrier, and he'd only bothered to replace it because he liked it, but he's not really sure what to do with all these other people who seem to like it so much.]

Thanks, but you can't have it. Someone already asked and I had to say no.

[goodluckkobra]

I'm not actually what the difference is between a rocket scientist and whatever you are. Whatever it is, it sounds impressive.

Purple's totally not my color, though. It looks way better on you than it would on me.

[beenunmade]

Sorry to say doc...I don't have any marketable talents to share with the class. [ He grins a bit, shaking his head with a soft scoff. ]

[greenisnteasy]

Oh, no, you're completely useless. Can't even open a pickle jar, right?

[He smiles lightly.]

How's the head?

[And you know... the repercussions of the crushing news Bruce delivered that day.]

[beenunmade]

I just break 'em. I'm too impatient for battles with pickle jars, sad to say.

[ He shrugs a bit. ]

Good. Okay...ish. I took over the attic since Agent won't let me sleep in the lighthouse.

[greenisnteasy]

But the pickles!

[Bruce likes pickles, Clint. This is saddening.]

Seems like a fair trade. You could always hang a flashlight from the ceiling and make it rotate if you're homesick for the lighthouse experience.

[He hesitates briefly.]

How is our friend the agent?

[plaidsamurai]

Escape through the woods is pretty much a no go.

I went, got attacked by some... things. Pretty much was incapacitated just like they did when I messed with my camera, and I was conveniently dragged back to the tree line. Also, there's cameras out there. I saw a few in the trees, but I'm sure there were a lot more that I missed.

As far as skills go, I s'pose I can teach tracking and self defense, most survival skills really.

[greenisnteasy]

Those would come in handy, considering the friendliness of the woods.

That's confirmation then that they get pissy when we do more than just mess with the cameras, I guess. Did you get any indication of what might be beyond the woods?

[plaidsamurai]

[Goes to private.]

Jus' between you and I is better for this part. I was attacked out there by a number of big... metal... robotic bear things, claws and teeth all razors. Honestly, they'd be what I'd make if I wanted to spar a really nasty machine.

That's not the issue. Catch is, I was doing fine against 'em, next thing I knew I was waking up back at the edge of the forest. They toyed, had a bit of fun, and then when they got bored they drugged me... somehow... that'd be like drugging the Hulk... except in the long run I might be a bit more difficult to keep drugged.

I think their control over us, and knowledge of us, is... [He doesn't look happy admitting this and the pause is long] ... well, a lot more vast than we'd like to admit.

As for what's beyond the woods, they barely let me thirty feet in, bub.

[greenisnteasy]

[That is... not good. This has Bruce's attention, and he sits up straighter, looking into his communicator. As always, his primary concern is people using him for their own means. His blood is dangerous, almost insta-Hulk soup, and the thought of anyone potentially having access to it is enough to make him ill. And that's just him. Who knows what's up with some of these other people -- or even Steve, who'd been the root of so many problems for their universe.]

We know they must have some powerful resources on hand. They incapacitated a robot, who says that's practically impossible without deactivating him.

I don't like what any of this means. What are they keeping us for? And how'd they figure out the exact means to knock us out if they have to? And if we're essentially in prison, why keep us here? What's the point of the houses, why are they so absent?

[He shakes his head, pulling his lip between his teeth briefly.]

It all leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

[plaidsamurai]

Don't it, though? It's frustrating to say the least. I don't have any answers unfortunately... oh, actually I do have one more interesting piece of information. It doesn't help any; it actually kind of makes things even messier. Whoever is around... whoever comes and fixes stuff and whoever was living here and left, none of them have a scent like you or I would. Even robots... you can usual smell... like... mechanical- it's hard to explain, but they usually leave a faint scent. There's just... nothing.