fifth ( video ) day 65

[gleans]

[ Galen isn't on camera for long, but when he is, he looks like shit; tired, raw, and maybe a little drunk. It's been a terrible week.

He clears his throat, brow furrowing like he's trying to focus, then frowns before speaking: ]

Hey -- if we're apologizing for stuff, I should prob'ly say sorry too. [ He drops his chin on his free hand, leans into his fingers so he can rub at his eyes, and then the view tilts to the ceiling. ] Sorry for all the. Like. Really bad nightmares. Couldn't help it but 's still bullshit. M'sorry.

[ He chews at the edge of his tongue, then -- yeah, that's enough. The feed is cut. ]

Comments

[gleans]

Who the fuck do I blame? It doesn't even matter, cuz it won't fucking bring Jesse back! But I can -- I can, I can't stop thinking about it, what'd I do, what could I do, fucking -- nothing.

[tooghoulforschool]

He's still-- ... fuck. No, if you gotta blame someone, you blame the guy with the knife in his hand. [Galen can't see it, but he's hanging his head. Clenching his fists. Covering his face with his hands.]

So fucking sorry. Never wanted this. Never wanted to do that to either of you.

[gleans]

[ There's a silence while he buries his face in his hands, tries to calm himself back down. He's cried more in the last few days than he has in a long time, and it only makes him want to puke, now. He tries to breathe, sniffs. ]

S'what makes it so much fucking worse. [ A shaky breath. ] I dunno what t'do.

[tooghoulforschool]

... How 'bout I call you if I ever figure that out. [Because he still doesn't know. Party's been gone a long time now. Too long.] Breakin' shit usually helps.

[Doesn't help much.]

[gleans]

[ A sad little laugh. ] Sounds like something he'd say.

Think -- just think m'gonna need a few days. I don't -- I don't think he'll be back.

[tooghoulforschool]

[Shit. He hisses quietly. That's why he didn't want to use video and there he goes fucking it up anyway. They're too similar. It's probably painful. Just like seeing Galen hurts sometimes.]

Yeah? Well... here's hopin' you're wrong, huh? [For your sake, Galen. For the sake of Ghoul's soul, if he even still has one.] I'll stay away. If you need me, I'm there, but I'll stay away from you. Won't have t'see me.

[gleans]

... Yeah. Thanks. [ He swallows thickly. ] 'N -- sorry you've gotta deal with this. And for the nightmares.

[tooghoulforschool]

No, no way, it's nothin'. Nothin' I didn't deserve. [He sighs so, so heavily.] Later, Galen.

[gleans]

I -- [ He sighs. None of them deserve this. But right now, he feels too much like crap to argue. ] ... Later, Ghoul.