006 | Video | Day 70

[manofiron]

[ Although the video’s on, it shows a remarkably dull view of the sky. After a moment, during which nothing happens, it may become apparent that its owner doesn’t realize that it’s on. When he starts speaking, in the vague, disconnected voice of a man who’s either delirious, sick, or extremely hungover, it may go a long way in explaining why he doesn’t know he’s being recorded. ]

Well, that… must’ve been some night. [ He sighs and the video blurs until it shows a delightful view of the ground. ] JARVIS, where’s the car? And the nearest source of ibuprofen. I need like, a bottle. Or six.

[ There’s a moment of silence. ]

Jay? Don’t do this to me again, buddy. There’s at least enough power in the— [ The image spins, like the hand the camera’s attached to is patting at something. ] Seriously? The car and the transmitter? What the hell happened last night?

[ There’s another blur and it resolves into a wobbly image of the sky again. ]

Okay, this isn’t the end of the world. Deliverance, maybe, or the woodsy version of The Hills Have Eyes. But that’s okay. I can handle it. Just gotta find a gas station, preferably one without a bunch of cannibalistic yokels, call Rhodey, try not to get eaten by said cannibals, and wait for help to come. And then take a vacation, because obviously going down to the Crab Shack for happy hour with Mister Irresponsible is a bad idea.

[ And with that, he stops talking and starts walking. ]

Comments

[manofiron]

Uh, yeah. Yeah, that's...

[ He blinks at the screen, closes an eye, studies it for a second, then opens it again. ]

I think I'm too hungover for this. What's going on?

[rigging]

[ A beat, then: ] You're back in Kore. You been gone a few days, here - I dunno how long it's been for you. [ He rubs at the back of his neck. ]

You alright, man? I got like half a bottle of painkillers, if you need 'em.

[manofiron]

How strong are they?

[ Something he's said sounds familiar, though, and Tony scrubs at his face, trying to pinpoint it. ]

Kore? That... Huh. S'funny. Hadn't thought about that place in a long time. 'Bout a year. Close to, anyway. Wait, you said I've been gone for a few days?

[rigging]

They're regular like, advil-type ones. [ And what's with all these people being gone for a year? Kenzi was the same way. Jesse frowns. ] A year - yeah, just a few days, same as Bruce. Time flow is fucked up here, I guess. You're back, though - uh. Sorry 'bout that, ain't exactly a good thing.

[manofiron]

It's not morphine, but it'll do.

[ This time thing, though. This is a dilemma which requires a solution. Once his head's clear enough to think about it. ]

You been here the whole time?

[rigging]

Lemme know where you are and I can bring you 'em - and... yeah, I was here. Why?

[manofiron]

Just curious if some of my buddies showed up before me. James Rhodes? Pepper Potts? Those names familiar at all?

[rigging]

I mean, I think I heard you mention Pepper afore but no, they ain't here. Sorry, man - I dunno if you'd want 'em to show up.

[manofiron]

I actually don't. If they're not here, that's a good thing. Means whatever happened to make me turn up here didn't happen to them.

[rigging]

Yeah, guess so. But people you knew back afore you left are all still here. Hulk was lookin' for you.

[manofiron]

So it wasn't a get out of jail free card for everyone. Anything happen the day I left? Anything that might explain why I got to go and the rest of you didn't?

[rigging]

I - I dunno, man. [ He bites his lip. ] You, Bruce n' Kenzi all left the same day. Kenz came back the next. You guys now. Maybe more people left, I dunno, I was - occupied. Don't remember much what I was doing.

[manofiron]

Don't worry. If you can't remember it, then it's likely nothing noteworthy. If it even existed at all. I'm just grasping at straws for an explanation, that's all.

[rigging]

Since when do they give us any sort of explanation? [ He shrugs. ] You want me t'bring these painkillers over? [ A beat. ] Or I can leave 'em out if you're goin' somewhere. [ Like to Bruce. Or something. ]

[manofiron]

Good point. That depends if you think you might need them later. I've been getting hangovers since I was sixteen. I'll live. If you use them for something more serious than a bad decision, I'm not going to take them from you.

[ He's not that much of an ass. ]

[rigging]

I can give y'half, how bout that? [ He'd feel bad for hoarding them. In Tony's case, anyway - it's because he considers Tony something of a friend that he offered in the first place. ]

[manofiron]

How about a very small quarter? Or, you know, three. I think three would knock out the headache. Unless three's all you got. Then one would be okay.

[rigging]

[ A beat, and then in an amused voice: ] Yer real insistent on not letting me help, man. I can give you s'many as y'need. Three's fine. But if y'need more I'll give 'em. We ain't getting anywhere being selfish.

[manofiron]

See, that's the thing. I do the helping. People don't help me. It's the natural order.

[rigging]

Fuck that. [ He says simply. ] Fuck the natural order. I'll help whoever I wanna. You really gonna make me argue this?

[manofiron]

Hi. My name's Tony Stark. Arguing stupid, pointless things is what I do.

[rigging]

Pfft. Get your contrary ass in gear n' come take these afore it dissolves into your mom jokes and slapfights, Stark.

[manofiron]

Technically, it'll just be slapfights. My mom died when I was seventeen, leaving me with a noticeable lack of fodder for jokes.

[ One might think he'd sound upset by this, but he sounds as irreverent and unconcerned as always. ]

[rigging]

[ There's a beat, and then, flippantly, in a sort of drawl: ] Ay, mine died when I was born and I still got the ability t'make a mean your mom joke. Don't pussy out.

[manofiron]

Most of what I knew about my mom, I got from the papers and TV just like everyone else, and all they had to say about her was that she was a wonderful humanitarian. There's a whole shitload of crap named after her back home. Help a guy out and craft me a joke, huh?