Kenzi [001] Video

[onteamdyson]

Hey. Sup, random peeps. I'm trying to find this guy with ridiculously fluffy hair, angry-looking face, cheekbones that could probs cut glass? Didn't catch his name... he's totes British.

Also, I believe I was promised superheroes and lobster. Both of you better honour those promises.

... And Bo? If you can see this? You better have one hell of an explanation for not getting back to me sooner. Kenzi out! Peace, suckahs.

Comments

[onteamdyson]

That depends. Were any of these superheroes bitten by a radioactive cow or pig?

[agentx13.livejournal.com]

I'm sure if any had been, you don't have the security clearance to know.

Though I think there's a Man Pig in Colorado...

[onteamdyson]

I could have the security clearance. I could TOTALLY have the security clearance. You don't know me! I'm actually the CEO of a super secret company of ass-kicking and I have the clearance to do what I want, level nine, special ops... charlie foxtrot... alpha one.

... Can this man pig regenerate limbs? [She sounds genuinely interested.]

[agentx13.livejournal.com]

[Sharon's lips stretch into a slow grin.] You're a very young CEO. What does this super-secret company of yours do?

And you'd have to ask Al Gore. He's the one who's been chasing it.

[onteamdyson]

Wow, why does everyone keep calling me out on the age thing? I'm 22! That's totes old enough to be a CEO. And it kicks-ass, obvi. You should have seen our quarterly reports for ass-kicking last year. The numbers were through the roof.

Al Gore is a... president? [Don't judge her! She's Canadian. It's not her fault, Sharon! It's not her fault.]

[agentx13.livejournal.com]

[Sharon is torn between amusement and astonishment.]

Vice-president. I was referencing a television show, but never mind.

So your business. Does it deal with a lot of superheroes, or were you asking about those because of some other reason?

[onteamdyson]

The only TV I watch is Jungle Jeeves. It's the only show I need.

[Kenzi grins. This chick is okay.] I may or may not be looking to acquire some contacts in the hero-field. Philliam said he knew some and I'm not one to distrust a guy that goes around hitting angry dudes with massive arms in the face with a gun. [Gaaaaaaaaaasp] Is giant arms guy a super hero? Is his power having ridiculously huge arms? Red-headed chick's power is probably having ridiculously red hair.

... That's ridiculously disappointing.

[agentx13.livejournal.com]

[Sharon fights a smile and fails.] I'm ridiculously disappointed that I've never heard of that show. [Except not really. It makes Sharon picture an ask.com reality show set in the jungle, and there's enough crap on television.]

No, Barton doesn't have superpowers. Unless being a wise-ass counts.

Philliam? [Not Phil Coulson, surely. But who else could she mean?] You mean Agent Coulson? Short guy, really short hair, wears a suit?

[onteamdyson]

It's pretty damn educational. You're missing out on a billion useless facts about nature!

Dude. If being a wise-ass is a super power, someone needs to get me a cape ASAP.

[The grin gets a bit bigger and a lot more mischievous.] Yeah. That's the one. A guy that hardcore needs to spice up his name a little. He's in my posse, he passed the badassery test. Normally I'm allergic to authority figures, but he seems pretty cool.

So you know him. Which means you're from the same place. Which means you know who the peeps secretly sporting spandex and underwear on the outside of their pants are! Spill!

[agentx13.livejournal.com]

[And Phil has already gotten an upbeat fanclub here. Impressive, in a way.]

I'm not at liberty to discuss to tell you much, but I'll tell you a little, I suppose. In my world, their existence is taken for granted. Coulson and I work for the same organization, SHIELD, but in different worlds, apparently. There are more supers and mutants where I'm from, as I understand it. Otherwise, they do a better job of staying hidden in Coulson's world.

[onteamdyson]

Uh-huh. So you're also a secret agent and not so good at keeping it secret, but blah blah-- excuse me, did you just say different worlds??

[agentx13.livejournal.com]

I'm a secret agent of a sort. I got outed on national television a couple years ago. [Not only had Rhodey pointed her out at Steve's funeral, but then Osbourn had put her photo out everywhere in relation to Steve's death.]

And yes. Coulson and I appear to be from different universes. It's... actually pretty common. [Though now, Sharon reflects, to the layperson. Which Kenzi obviously is.]

[onteamdyson]

Ouch. Buuuuusted. Does that mean you do a bunch of promo stuff and PR and don't get to do the fun shit at all anymore?

[Two. Different. Universes. Well, she did go to an entirely different freakin' REALM to shove an old lady in an oven. Sure. Why not.]

Okay, I believe you. Since I've never even seen any real crime-fighting dudes with powers, does that mean I'm from a different universe, too?

[agentx13.livejournal.com]

It means I do different sorts of assignments, so I get to keep doing the fun shit. [Like killing and torture, which, while not always fun, were usually rewarding in one way or another. She had been trained by the best, after all.]

[Her head tilts faintly as Kenzi says she's from a world without any superheroes whatsoever.] It's likely. I usually know what's going on back home. If you want to tell me more about where you're from, I can tell you for sure.

[onteamdyson]

[There's not much she can tell her that wouldn't give Bo's secret away. It's not her secret to tell.]

Not much happening in Toronto other than the usual murders, crime, and boring Canadian politics.

[And she honestly doesn't have much time to keep up with events outside the life-threatening fae issues that threaten her daily life.]

[agentx13.livejournal.com]

Then yeah. It sounds like another world. [Though honestly, Sharon had hoped the girl would be more forthcoming.]

I'm Sharon Carter, by the way. Some might refer to me as Agent 13.

[onteamdyson]

[Government agents aren't the only ones with secrets. Forthcoming is not Kenzi's thing.]

What are the chances of me getting shot if I start calling you share-bear?

[agentx13.livejournal.com]

Pretty high.

What are the chances I'll lose a bullet in you?

[onteamdyson]

Slim to none because share-bear is officially nonexistent. Nice to meet you, Agent Carter!

[Oh, check it out. She's even saluting.]

[agentx13.livejournal.com]

[And that wins Kenzi a smile.]

Nice to meet you, too. And just to get this out of the way now, not all people with superpowers are good people. So be careful, and give either me or Coulson a heads-up as soon as you can.

[She hesitates, then figures she might as well. No way or telling what they'll need in the future, and maybe Kenzi can help.] So what did you do back home, Kenzi? School?

[onteamdyson]

Yes sir! I mean ma'am.

[Just so you know, that translated to 'BUG ME AND COULSON WITH EVERY INANE THING THAT HAPPENS' and that is exactly what she intends to do.]

Pssssht, please. I'm a private investigator.

[And part time fae-hunter.]

[agentx13.livejournal.com]

A private investigator. [Sorry, Kenzi, but this? This is utter disbelief. Or at least the semblance thereof. Knowledge is power, after all. Sometimes it helps when people feel the need to prove themselves to others.]

So... Unemployed, but you watch a lot of TV.

[onteamdyson]

Yeah, a private investigator, as in people pay me to investigate stuff. Privately. I'm the brains, my bff is the muscle. I was unemployed until we started our business and now I have a kick-ass job and a roof over my head. M-mostly. I'm serious! If I had my purse, I'd give you our card.

[With.... a few details fudged. Like being in the business for years and their qualifications.]

[agentx13.livejournal.com]

How many cases have you solved? [This grin is not one of mockery, Kenzi. It's just a grin that shows how little she believes the girl.]

[The grin widens.] And as a secret agent, I have plenty of experience knowing when people are lying. If you want to take that into account.

[onteamdyson]

Oh jeeze... uuuuh... okay, hang on. [She starts counting on her non-communicator hand, rolling her eyes back to seriously consider all the cases they've worked and separating out the ones that actually got solved.]

Solved doesn't necessarily mean we got paid, but ... at least seventeen. Probably a bit more. We haven't been at it very long, okay? And a lot of other stuff comes up in between.

[Secret stuff. FAE STUFF. But like hell is she cracking at this point.]

Why the hell am I even defending this to you? I know what my damn job is and I don't really give a shit who believes me and who doesn't. I'm awesome.