002: Ring ring, phone call for Mrs. Harvelle

[runboyrun]

Open because Stiles can't work the comm properly yet.

Uh... hey, is that Ellen?

[Behold Stiles' most charming smile. Which is actually pretty darned charming, considering how much practice it's gotten with getting him out of sticky situations.]

So, I was talking to a guy who said that talking to you would be a good place to start if I was looking into learning how not to get my ass kicked. Because not gonna lie, that would be useful information for me to have, considering my history.

I'm Stiles, by the way.

Comments

[justrunsasaloon]

[She keeps the gun trained on him and checks his pockets. Ellen doesn't know who sent him, but this is just precautionary.

Since she doesn't find a weapon, she grabs a flask off the table. Full of salted holy water, it'll fix the rest of her questions.]

Take a drink.

[She tosses it to him.]

[runboyrun]

Hey- whoa-

[He jumps at the sudden abrupt handling, eternally grateful she either hasn't seen or has ignored the little bag of mountain ash in his jeans pocket.

Eyeing up the flash, he takes it gingerly and sniffs. Not that he could smell poison... but he takes a sip anyway, deciding that someone's going to have to make with the trusting.]

Oh-

[He gags.]

Salt water? That's just unpleasant. Ugh, a warning would've been nice, what the hell?

[justrunsasaloon]

[She takes the flask back and uncocks the gun. She turns and settles on a stool behind the bar, pouring two glasses of water.]

Salted holy water. You passed the devil's trap. I needed to know what else you might be. I'm Ellen.

[runboyrun]

Stiles. Human. It's a rarity in my town, but what can I say?

[He perches on a seat of his own. He can appreciate the hyper-vigilance, but he turns to scrutinise the grafitti with renewed interest.]

Devil's Trap? And that would be... a trap... for devils.

[justrunsasaloon]

[Ellen sighs and rests her forearms on the bar.]

Boy, why did you call me? You said you wanted help with some things, but you don't know what the Key of Solomon is? Who told you to do this?

[Paranoid Ellen is paranoid.]

[runboyrun]

Raphael. I spoke to him on the...

[He jiggles his wrist.]

We were talking about - see, in my town, werewolves are a thing. And sometimes other stuff, like scaly were-lizards and psychotic druids. And here's me, The Human, and mostly I run away a lot.

I'd like to not do that any more.

[justrunsasaloon]

Raphael.

[Shit. The archangel is meddling in her life again. Wasn't dying because of one enough? Obviously not.]

Werewolves huh? How many hearts are eaten on the full moon?

[She reaches back and pulls over a notebook that she's been using.]

Alright, what do you want to know?

[runboyrun]

[He gawps at her.]

Oh my god, none! I mean beside that one Omega, but that was just one time!

[justrunsasaloon]

[She snorts.]

Kid, werewolves eat the hearts of humans on the three nights of the full moon. Only way to stop them is a silver bullet to the heart.

[She's hunted a few in her time.]

After you shoot them, they revert back to human. It's how you know you hit the heart.

Now, what exactly did you want to learn? Protection sigils? How to kill things? Hex bags? I need to know where to start.

[runboyrun]

[Stiles looks unabashedly scandalised. Stricken.]

Dude. My best friend is a werewolf. He's never eaten a single human heart - I don't think he's even killed a bunny - and if anyone tries to shoot him, I swear to God I will set their ass on fire.

I want to learn how to fight. Anything you can teach me that'll help me protect the people I care about.

[justrunsasaloon]

[She just looks at him. Then, she waves to a stool.]

Sit down. First thing you need to know: basic principle of anything supernatural. Salt, holy water, and silver takes care of almost everything.

[runboyrun]

Okay.

[He nods, trying to assimilate this new knowledge and get past the 'kill all werewolves' philosophy his new Yoda is sporting.]

What constitutes 'holy water', exactly?

[justrunsasaloon]

Holy water. Blessed water. Stuff they use in bad horror movies to 'cast out' things.

[Come on, he has to know this, right?]

You know the right Latin and you can make it yourself. I put some in the moonshine.

[runboyrun]

Yeah, I know what it is in the movies, I just meant... because I don't know if you always carry a Catholic priest in your purse, but I don't. I didn't know if you just, you know, wave the sign of the cross over it or-

[He gestures as if to say 'like you just said']

-incant some Latin, or if you had to go full rob-the-church-font.

[justrunsasaloon]

My line of work, robbing churches, morgues, funeral homes? It happens.

[She finishes writing in the notebook.]

This is the Latin for holy water. Find a cross, put it over the water and speak the words. It'll cleanse and purify the water. Leave the cross dangling in the water for a couple hours after.

[runboyrun]

Right... uh...

[He squints at it a moment. Yeah, he has no idea how to pronounce any of that, but he figures Lydia would be glad for this information as well, so he can kill two birds with one stone - and also have an excuse to spend some time with her.]

I'm usually the getaway driver. But if I have to, sure, why not. Dead people don't tend to get that offended.

[justrunsasaloon]

Dead man's blood slows down vampires. Makes them sick and gives you a chance to get out of the way and come back with reinforcements. Bones of the innocent come in handy for protection spells. And graveyard dirt comes in handy for the same reason.

[She cocks her head to the side.]

What are you looking to protect yourself from?

[runboyrun]

As many things as I'm likely to face.

[He grimaces.]

A druid was dicking around with old magic in my town, which, fun times, is on top of an ass-ton of ley lines. So, we think she might've disturbed something. Like, amped up the power? Turned it into a beacon for the weird. I just wanna be ready.

[justrunsasaloon]

[Ellen sighs. Then she pulls out another notebook and a pencil.]

Sit down, kid. We're going to be talking awhile. We'll start with the ones that are easiest to get rid of and go from there.

[She sips her water.]

How squeamish are you?

[runboyrun]

Uh, on a scale of one to ten? Ten being "Oh god blood hey I'm unconscious"? I'd say about a three. Maybe two. Not a lot fazes you when you've seen actual brain matter.

...I'm just bad with needles. Like, really bad. Needles aren't likely to become a thing, are they?

[justrunsasaloon]

[She snorts.]

How about digging up and burning corpses?

[runboyrun]

...Can't say that's one I've ever had to do... Guess we'll find out if it ever comes up.

[justrunsasaloon]

[She smiles a little.]

Ladies in white, ghosts, nasty hauntings, ghost killings - best way to end them is to salt and burn the corpse. They're you're most typical things. Nine times out of ten, they're what you're dealing with.

[runboyrun]

Ghosts. Great.

[Beacon Hills has had more than its quota of violent deaths over the past year or so. Stiles thinks they could do without those spirits getting restless.]

So, ghost-remedy is salt and burn the body. Shake and bake.

[Saying it out loud helps to lock it into his memory, and he nods.]

Demons are the latin and the holy water.

[justrunsasaloon]

[She chuckles.]

Boy, I grew up in this. And sometimes, it still amazes me that this stuff goes on and that more people don't know about it.

[She nods.]

Shifters and werewolves are silver. Vampires, decapitate. Don't try that fancy stake through the heart. There are things you stake, but vampires only die if you remove their head.