cape_kore | 001 | Anna Miton

So there's a few of us, at least.

[ She's awkward for a moment, eyes anywhere but the little image of Cas as she thinks for a moment. Then he gets a small, still relatively kind but very tired smile. ]

How long has it been? I kind of lost track.

I suppose that would depend on what the last thing you remember is. Balthazar and Sam seem to be from at least a few years before me. When are you from?

When-

[ That obviously throws her off somewhat, but aside from a quick frown and shake of her head, she doesn't question it. It's not the weirdest thing to happen that day, after all. ]

We were still trying to prevent the apocalypse, and then you gave me up to them. I've been Upstairs, until now.

I see. [The guilt is plain on his face.] I have grown to regret that decision greatly.

It has been several years for me, then, both since that and since the last time I saw you.

Yes, well. [ She really does want to relish in his guilt, but it's much easier in theory than in practice, and she just ends up giving a slightly wry smile. Her shoulders slump, and she shrugs quickly, somewhat defeated. ]

We all do things we regret. But what do you mean 'the last time you saw me'? That was the last time you saw me...

[ Wasn't it? ]

No. I'm afraid I saw you once more after that. I'm glad that you're here now, Anna. Perhaps--[They can find a way to take her back to when he's from.]

[He shakes his head.] I'm sorry.

How could you have seen me after that? What happened?

[ Any efforts at remaining cool and collected have been abandoned, because this has thrown her far more than anything else. ]

Why are you sorry, what happened?

Michael. You fought with him. It didn't end well for you.

[He can't hold what she did against her, but he's still ashamed for his part in handing her in. Would any of that have happened if he hadn't?]

[ She frowns, because why would she ever have been stupid enough to fight Michael? This is easily far more disturbing to her than ending up here at all - she has absolutely no memory of what he's talking about, after all. ]

How 'not well' are you talking?

About as 'not well' as you are thinking.

[It's his fault. All of it. He hadn't known at the time, but he's not sure that ignorance is an excuse.]

I don't suppose they'd bother with the efforts of locking me up after that, would they.

[ There is a long pause where she's just frowning, and then he clears her throat and attempts a dry smile. It's a poor effort. ]

So I'm...dead. Do I even want to know how I got into that mess?

No.

[An awkward pause.]

But if you wanted to blame me, I would certainly understand.

How can I blame you if I don't even know what happened?

[ She knows she's not going to like whatever it is that Castiel isn't telling her, and she shouldn't push it, but part of her has to know. ]

You know I can't just let this go now. Just tell me.

You escaped and you tried to stop Michael's plans and prevent the apocalypse.

[His face is tight, tense with guilt.]

It was my fault. None of it would have happened if I hadn't turned you in. I shouldn't have. I didn't know.

Didn't know what? Where they would take me? What they would do with me?

[ She's trying so hard to remain calm, but it's not really working. Anna's angry, that much is obvious, and though her voice is quiet and controlled, there's an edge to it that gives her feelings away. ]

I'm sorry, but you knew exactly what you were sending me to. You knew, and I trusted you and you gave me up to them. What could I Ben have been doing that was such a threat to his plans that he had to wipe me out?

I didn't know you were right!

[His voice is rough. He should have helped her. He should have left with her.]

They were wrong. Everything they were doing was wrong and I didn't know. Shortly after that, I left. I rebelled. I should have listened to you.

Well at least you realised that, shame it couldn't have been before you sent me to their prison.

[ She's more bitter than she would like, but she's too tired to care. She's been imprisoned for longer than she can comprehend, and the first person she sees when she finally escapes is the one to send her there in the first place. ]

They used you, you know. Your voice, your image, to taunt me.

[He closes his eyes.]

Anna...

[He doesn't deserve to be here. He deserves to be in Purgatory. He deserves to be chased down and destroyed.]

I don't think I can fix any of that.

[ She softens somewhat as she watches him, and then just sighs. She presses a hand to her forehead lightly and when she brings her gaze upwards again she's at least les angry. Exhausted, bitter, frustrated and hurt, but she's not attacking him at least ]

It's okay. Look, I understand why you did it, and it's too late to change anyway. It was just-

[ She cuts herself off, shaking her head. There's no need to explain to him how unpleasant re-appropriation is. ]

I'm out now. What's done is done.

[Castiel had had his own lessons to learn when they'd accused him of getting too close to Dean. He imagines that Anna's were far worse and he doesn't even know what to say.]

I sometimes wonder if any of this was worth it.

[ It's too easy to feel sympathetic, too easy to slip back into her well-known role of his mentor, and she has a sad smile tugging at her lips as she speaks. ]

If what was worth it? Rebelling?

I've hurt so many people... so many of our brothers and sisters and the world is no safer than it was then.

[Part of him knows that it was worth it, but there are so many regrets and mistakes that he can't do anything about.]

You're not the only one who's wondered that. I have, a lot.

[ She's not sure what he means exactly by hurting their brothers and sisters, but she'll ask later. If she tried now she'd probably end up pointing out that they deserved whatever it was, and she's sure Castiel doesn't want to hear that now. ]

Things were much simpler back then, it's true, but it's always worth it Cas. The decisions you've made, bad or good, at least they were yours. Not some absent Fathers supposed orders.

Did you know that you were taking on this kind of responsibility when you chose to fall?

[He shakes his head.]

I never even knew what I was really fighting for. I just knew that Dean thought it was worth it.

We weren't fighting when I fell. I thought I could just live out a normal, human life. That's all I fell for, not this cause.

[ And how naive a thought that had turned out to be. All she can do is sigh and try not to think of that life, how it had been upturned. ]

I neer wanted to be a part of this war, but we do what we must. What do you know now? Do you think it was worth it?

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