what is this / 01

[stiling]

[ The transmission starts off audio, a confused voice spluttering to itself as Stiles haplessly hits buttons on his communicator. ]

Okay, well, ya said Cape Kore like that means anything to me, but here's the thing, sucker, is that I've never been to a Cape Anything. --Who even lives near a cape, I'm not a cape kind of --

[ Video! It flips over and the face jumps and makes a few surprised shapes. ]

Well. Hello, guy. That just flashed. Nine-one-one? Hello? I'm, um. I'm not living here. There's been a mistake.

Comments

[shesamarshmallow]

That's fine. Take all the time you need to adjust to the horse dongs. I can wait. [She takes a moment to look around, whistling.]

So? Got a place to stay yet?

[stiling]

[ Stiles scoffs out a laugh. ] Kinda thinking the dongs are somethin' that takes more practice than, wow, my mind is going unfortunate places.

Yeah, I got a couch! It's a start.

[shesamarshmallow]

Wow. You are living it up.

Hopefully without real horse dongs. Especially since we don't have any horses around.

[stiling]

I know. I'm styling.

[ dohohohoho stiles: 1, puns: 0 ]

Loki oughta be disappointed in which case.

[shesamarshmallow]

[She raises an eyebrow at that. Puns? Really? Have they fallen so far?]

I think you can hear him crying sometimes. Late at night when the fog rolls in.

So what's your story, Stiles? Normal kid, no superpowers, no secret identities, no secrets?

[stiling]

Forget La Llorona. It's Loki's weeping you gotta look out for on those late nights.

[ There's a moment when his mouth opens and shuts like he might say something, but she gets nothing but a shrug of his shoulder and a wry grin. ] Not unless you count the porn under my bed. I dunno, regular old high-schooler in the works. I definitely can't do anything with lightning. [ He wiggles his fingers at the camera. ] Sorry to disappoint.

[shesamarshmallow]

[Veronica's eyes narrow, genuinely curious about that Actually-I-might-raise-unicorns-or-something-equally-interesting expression (though really, what could be as interesting as having access to unicorns?), but he doesn't follow through and, for now, she's willing to let it go.]

Yeah. Neither can I. I guess we're both disappointments.

You know, you might be able to barter that porn of yours, if any came through with you.

[stiling]

[ He gets the feeling that Veronica's about as up front about her shit as Stiles is with his own. Make him curious? You bet your ass! But until he gets the lay of the land here, uh, he's absolutely mum. ]

Sucks, right? [ He mimes brushing back some fantastic hair. ] At least we've got our good looks.

Wh- Some people got their porn here? Or more than whatever they were wearing at the time?

[shesamarshmallow]

What do you mean "we," G.I. Jane?

And no, they didn't. Which means, if you'd managed to bring yours through, you could be rich now.

Man. You should have brought your porn!

[stiling]

[ He grins. ] Aw. You shouldn't be so hard on yourself like that. You've got plenty of 'em.

I'm sorry! I'll plan ahead accordingly for the next unannounced mass kidnapping! Therein lays my mistake.

[shesamarshmallow]

[And that eyebrow that just went up? Ignore the grin that goes along with it, Stiles, that eyebrow clearly says, "Check yourself before you wreck yourself, broski."]

If I had a nickel for every time I heard that one...

So have people told you what to watch out for? Like, "Don't go into the woods, don't trust people in lab coats who have people-sized suitcases?"

[stiling]

You'd have five cents! [ Beaming. ]

Yeah, yeah, I got filled in on some of it. Crazy, big-ass animals chilling in the woods and some creepers dumped us here and have lots of candy in their vans. Guess it wouldn't be very intimidating if we could just trounce our way on outta here sans becoming angry wolf dinner, though, right?

[shesamarshmallow]

And with that, I could get five pennies!

And people going missing, new people dropping in. Oh, and since you're sleeping on a couch? I'm just going to go out on a limb and say we're running out of bedspace.

[stiling]

[ Oh, yeah, something he hasn't exactly thought of. He rolls a shoulder around in something of a shrug. ]

Hey, there's always sleeping inside of a moose like in the olden days.

[shesamarshmallow]

Hey, with the universe-shenanigans, you might be able to find a Tauntaun. Do it right.

[stiling]

And she goes in for the reference. Be still my beating heart.

[shesamarshmallow]

Oh, come on. It's just a Star Wars reference. It's not like I'm the Dude or anything.

Which is something you can call me, by the way. The Dude.