what is this / 01
[ The transmission starts off audio, a confused voice spluttering to itself as Stiles haplessly hits buttons on his communicator. ]
Okay, well, ya said Cape Kore like that means anything to me, but here's the thing, sucker, is that I've never been to a Cape Anything. --Who even lives near a cape, I'm not a cape kind of --
[ Video! It flips over and the face jumps and makes a few surprised shapes. ]
Well. Hello, guy. That just flashed. Nine-one-one? Hello? I'm, um. I'm not living here. There's been a mistake.
Okay, well, ya said Cape Kore like that means anything to me, but here's the thing, sucker, is that I've never been to a Cape Anything. --Who even lives near a cape, I'm not a cape kind of --
[ Video! It flips over and the face jumps and makes a few surprised shapes. ]
Well. Hello, guy. That just flashed. Nine-one-one? Hello? I'm, um. I'm not living here. There's been a mistake.
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[ If it's space, it just invented its own, probably. ]
Hang on, what kinda government are we talking here?
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[OVEN = PREHEATING! Fuck yes. Pizza, soon you will be in their mouths! Now she just ha to open the stupid box and that stupid plastic. Augh. Give her a minute.]
Uhh... American? They're with SHIELD. Whatever the hell that ... stands for. It's really long, okay? I can only remember so much awesome shiz before my brain overheats, melts, and I turn into a really cute zombie. You should ask him about it. Talk to him. Make a million friends. Gain body guards.
[Strategies for the future prevention of dead Stiles. Or SFPDS ... not as catchy.]
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[ He's not gonna even help, he's just gonna rub his hands together and watch her, faint grin at his mouth. ]
I haven't even heard of that, how secret is that? [ This is SO COOL. ] You'd make a pretty snazzy zombie, though, so there's that going for you. Can't I just get a bat or something for myself? All my bodyguards got left back home.
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[Oh my god, you little brat. When she finally rips the package open the first thing she does is shoot Stiles a triumphant grin! The second thing she does is put the thing in the oven. Then she sets the timer.]
Pretty secret I guess. [A smirk] Whhhhhy, thank you. If the whole life thing doesn't work out, it's nice to know I have options to fall back on. [She leans against the counter.] Also no. The bat is mine. Get your own.
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[ Excuse him while his hands throw emphatically up into the air for a moment, a sound of distress in his throat that's not quite an out loud thing. ]
Even you have a bat, oh my Christ. Does everybody in the English-speaking world tote one around or what?
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[... Because... okay, maybe he won't notice that she meant that literally. The vampire she and Bo knew was pretty damn awesome until Vex murdered his face. Hopefully he just thinks she's talking about the classic ones. Like Dracula! Or Count Chocula.]
Do you hang out with a lot of baseball fans? I just think they're handy to have around and then you get the added bonus of being able to look like that one gang from the Warriors when you're threatening to bash in skulls!
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I hang out with a lot of people with bats. I don't even think anyone plays baseball... [ He looks thoughtful for a moment, scrubbing furiously at his chin for his thinkpan to work. ] I mean, hey, yeah, give me a horror movie trope any more than the next guy, bat's good, but why always bats?
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[Stiles, she hasn't known you that long, but you're getting a hug. For being awesome. And wicked-smart. And ADORABLE!]
I also have a crowbar if that makes you feel any better? I could use that instead.