Gabriel - Video - 03

[hung_garian]

Lots of newbies lately, huh? How you doing, welcome to the place, make yourselves at home. Oh, and ignore the lies everyone's been feeding you, this is really a secret testing facility sponsored by the federal government. Fight the power, lock your doors and don't trust the water.

[He doesn't bother trying to make that sound convincing; the apathetic drawl should be enough to convince even those inclined to trust him dubious.]

With that particular PSA out of the way, on to more serious matters. I'm bored. Really bored. Boreder than a straight adult male watching Maid in Manhattan. Any of you monkeys feel like entertaining me, or will I have to revert to my old habit of serial murder to help pass those long lonely hours? Just a simple outraged shouty reply will do, if you can't come up with something more imaginative.

Comments

[primogen_vampirate]

That's why you should hire a party planner, dear.

Think of it as a PR stunt.

[hung_garian]

Seems a little desperate though, doesn't it? I'm pretty sure if I actually tried I could make people like me without the help of some party planner schmuck.

[primogen_vampirate]

Do you think so?

[hung_garian]

[No.]

Of course. What's not to like, right?

[primogen_vampirate]

I think you've just named the terms of a challenge.

[hung_garian]

I think I haven't.

[primogen_vampirate]

No?

[hung_garian]

Absolutely no.

[primogen_vampirate]

Your choice, of course.

[hung_garian]

Yes, it is. No challenges and no party planners.

[primogen_vampirate]

Very well. As you wish.

[hung_garian]

Stop saying it like that, I'm allowed to say no. I'm still fun.

[primogen_vampirate]

Of course, dear.

[hung_garian]

You're horrible.

[And he's a three year old. Cue sulk.]

[primogen_vampirate]

Yes, darling. I am horrible.

How else does one survive?

[hung_garian]

Trust me, sweetheart, being horrible's no guarantee at all of survival.

[And he's really not in a position to give advice on surviving, except as the 'what not to do' example.]

[primogen_vampirate]

There is no guarantee. We just have to muddle through.

[hung_garian]

This conversation has taken an unexpected turn for the existential.

[Pause.]

Too mature. Don't like it. Can we go back to talking about your Hallentine costume?

[primogen_vampirate]

Throw a party and you'll see it all.

[hung_garian]

Let me put it this way. People, as a whole, are great. Love them. As individuals? Not so much. I'm like a cat, if I'm not the centre of their universe I want 'em out. And if they are and I get bored I want 'em out too. I'm not inviting a whole slew of them to my place to mess up my stuff and take up my air if they won't just be paying attention to me the whole time. And if I invite them then I can't exactly just drive them out with a broom whenever I feel like it.

[He looks thoughtful for a moment.]

Well, I guess I could, but then when I wanted them back to fawn over me again they'd probably say no.

[And to think that of the angels, he's one of the best with social skills. Communication, yes - empathy, not so much.]

[primogen_vampirate]

Then why did you post this message?

[hung_garian]

People can entertain me without me having to be nice to them. If I were hosting a party, I'd have to be nice.

[primogen_vampirate]

I see.

[hung_garian]

Well, I suppose I wouldn't have to, but I hear it's the done thing.

[Besides, what he's just said is only half-true anyway. He does genuinely like people and spending time with them. Just, preferably on someone else's turf if there are going to be a lot of people. Less responsibility.]

[primogen_vampirate]

My dear Pendragon, you don't have to do anything.

One of the benefits of being a god.