[FUN GHOUL ➜ VIDEO 003]

[tooghoulforschool]

[Oh hey, what's this. That's definitely the beach. That is definitely the water. And that thing out there... that shiny, beautiful, bright plastic object floating on an expertly crafted raft in the water...

That would be Kobra's car bed.

Ghoul films it sailing merrily in the grey-blue yonder before turning the camera on himself. And wouldn't you know it, he's just grinning away.]

Hope you don't mind. Just thought I'd borrow your bed without askin' first. M'only repayin' the favour, little man, huh? [And the grin. Gets. Bigger. Followed by a scumbag snicker.] Go fish.

As for the rest of you dumb fucks. Who isn't okay after that idiotic fuckin' plan? 'M no doctor, but I can help patch things up if y'need an extra hand. Lemme know.

Comments

[goodluckkobra]

Ghoul.

[ His face is so serious. So very serious. And his voice is eerily calm and even. ]

I am going to take a serrated kitchen knife and I am going to stick it one-by-one into all of your holes. Ears first.

[tooghoulforschool]

[And that serious face just sends him over the edge. Hang on, KK, he's too busy laughing at you.]

Might wanna focus on reeling in your bed before it makes it to China or ends up in the deep end!

[ Audio ]

[goodluckkobra]

I am going to fuckin' kill you, you sad-sack shit-covered dildo.

[Audio ]

[tooghoulforschool]

[Woah, why did he switch? Oh shit, is he on the move? Ghoul switches, too, and decides now is a good time to get the hell out of there.]

You can try, sweetheart, but that would mean catchin' me first.

[ Audio ]

[goodluckkobra]

[ Damn straight, he's on the move, Motherfucker, and he's gonna fuck your shit up! ]

You are small and squirrely, but I only haveta catch your ass once.

[ video ]

[noblexcompanion]

Did... did you send someone else's bed out to sea? [ Really? Seriously? See Donna. See Donna look unimpressed. ]

No, really, I mean... wow... real mature...

[ video ]

[tooghoulforschool]

Thanks! [See Fun Ghoul look proud as all fuck. What do you mean that wasn't a compliment?] Some of my finest work right here. Little bastard had it comin'!

[ video ]

[noblexcompanion]

[ Siiiiiigh. ] And where's said little bastard supposed to sleep from now on? You gonna go top and tail?

[ video ]

[tooghoulforschool]

He can sleep on the fuckin' floor for all I care! [But he'll probably end up crawling into bed with Ghoul or Party if Ghoul doesn't break down later and get the bed back.]

[ video ]

[noblexcompanion]

And what exactly did he do to warrant having his bed turned into the little sailing boat that could?

[ video ]

[gleans]

[ A-pff. ]

Did a four-year-old piss you off, or something?

[ video ]

[tooghoulforschool]

Yeah, somethin' like that. [Mental age counts, right?] It is most definitely the bed of a Kid.

[gleans]

So who's the one sleeping on the floor tonight? ... Wait. Kid. [ KOBRA KID? ]

[tooghoulforschool]

The lanky motherfucker that thought it was a good idea to gank my room without askin' first. Bitch can sleep on the floor, outside, in a house with a goddamn mouse. See if I care.

[gleans]

... Aw, man. I don't blame you for setting it adrift, then. That's not cool.

[video/private]

[rigging]

So I'm just callin' to tell you I got t'ride on the back of a huge, pissed off green guy and beat the hell outta some tigers. [ He looks pretty smug. A beat. ] Oh, also, fan-fucking-tastic prank, there. Your boy sounds pissed.

[video/private foreva]

[tooghoulforschool]

What? Shut the fuck up you lyin' son of a dick. Like hell. You did. Didn't even call me or nothin', what kind of twin leaves a guy hangin' like that? Shit. [If this is true, that is the coolest thing he has ever heard. Ever. Dammit, now he's all aflutter. Jesse, you beautiful bastard.]

Yeah, he's pissed. [And doesn't he sound so proud. Actually...] where you at? We gotta go into hiding.

[rigging]

Oi, I was busy! Can't exactly call a facetwin while yer beating off wolves and tigers and bears, huh? [ But he's laughing. Especially at that next part. These two kind of remind him of himself and Jon. ]

Shit, sir, if I get my ass kicked 'cause of your shenanigans, there will be hell t'pay. I'll lock myself away, Rapunzel style, yer on your own.

[tooghoulforschool]

Yeah, yeah. Busy. A real man woulda fucked that shit up and been able t'call at the same goddamn time! Must make you my twin sister.

[What? HEY!] Fuck that Rapunzel shit! Hide me before he takes three more steps and gets here with those stilts he calls legs! Desperation! Annihilation! ...on Probation? Let me the fuck in!

[rigging]

Ayyy, badass twin sister. Get it right. [ He's giggling. ] Look, look, you need a place to hide, I already got some good spots. Come find me near the lighthouse and yell fer me to let down my hair, we'll see if you survive.

LATE [AUDIO]

[gloryisbullshit]

[S L O W C L A P]

[AUDIO]

[tooghoulforschool]

That better be approval. Don't think I could take sarcastic clapping in the face of this work of art.

[video] now that he is done clapping

[gloryisbullshit]

Naught but approval. Truth: I'm just jealous it wasn't my thought, right?

[video] mmmmyesgood

[tooghoulforschool]

Only a bonafide genius could come up with something this beautiful. Simple. Elegant. Effective as fuck. [So proud. So proud!] Might have to add a few minor injuries to this mountain of debt repaid if he's after me. Which I know he is.

[Funny how Ghoul doesn't seem too broken up over that. Been itching for a good fight.]

[gloryisbullshit]

[Funny indeed. Party grins and only rolls his eyes a bit.] Look out who yer pickin at, G, he's gonna destroy you if you actually start it.