002 || Britta Perry || Day 58 || video

[brittanator]

[ Britta's face is obscenely close to the screen, and something about her face looks more angular than normal. She pulls herself back, then quickly dips to grab something and hold it tighter to her chest. Her shoulders are bare, as is... the rest of her. She's concocted a dress made out of Kleenex, but she seems to be struggling with it. ]

WHAT THE EFF?

Who did this! THIS ISN'T FUNNY!

I'm pretty sure these wings are real, okay? Whoever did this? Not cool, dude. Not cool!

And whatever you did with Annie? You'd better undo it right now.

Annie? If you're out there? Come home, okay? I need you.

[ And not just to help Britta find clothes that fit. Britta needs to know her little sister is okay. ]

Comments

[brittanator]

Yeah? Well guess what!

You suck!

[ That... didn't seem angry enough. Try again. Three. Two. One. ]

You suck rocks!

[ Rocks? Seriously? ]

[hung_garian]

Unless that's a euphemism, no I don't. And FYI, your comebacks are about as good as your dress sense right now. Ripped paper chic is so 2007.

[brittanator]

Nothing else fits! And- and your eyebrows are-

You know what? I don't have to deal with this. I have to go find some clothes.

YOUR EYEBROWS ARE STUPID!

[ With that rousing insult, she turns off the feed. ]

[ Except for how she missed the button because her "dress" was slipping again. ]

Asshole.

[hung_garian]

And to think I had them threaded just yesterday! I'll have to take it up with my beautician.

[brittanator]

[ The feed jumps before focusing on Britta's face again. How had he done that? She'd just turned off the feed, hadn't she? ]

Stop that!

[hung_garian]

Stop what?

[brittanator]

Bothering me, you troll!

[hung_garian]

Sorry, honey. Everyone says the only way to get through life's to be yourself, don't they? I can't help it if myself is an asshole.

[brittanator]

You can help yourself by turning off your communicator!

And don't call me honey!

And try to be Nelson Mandela! Martin Luther King Jr! Mother Teresa! Duh-doi. Get inspired to aspire! [ Oooooh, that was good! ] Or something!

[hung_garian]

What are you, a motivational speaker? Yeesh.

[brittanator]

I'm a psych major. Which is way better than a motivational speaker.

[ Unless it wasn't. She'll have to think about that. Maybe she can change her major again. If she ever gets back to Greendale. ]

[hung_garian]

You're a psych major?

[He's so amused.]

There's a kind of irony in that, don'tcha think?

[brittanator]

Uh, no?

Why would there by irony in that?

[hung_garian]

Because you could do a case study on yourself?

[Subtlety and tact are overrated anyway.]

[brittanator]

We diagnose other people. Dur-doi!

[ Subtlety and tact may not be accepted right away, Gabriel. ]

[hung_garian]

Sounds like the blind leading the visually challenged to me.

[brittanator]

You mean the visually challenged leading the vis-

[ Oh. Oh. She gets it. ]

Who asked you, anyway?

[hung_garian]

No one asked. No one had to. I volunteered.

[brittanator]

Well la-dee-da, you being socially conscious all of a sudden. Why don't you just go do it to someone else?

[ Unless he has clothes that would fit her? No. No, not even then. ]

[hung_garian]

Oh, I am. Lucky for you, though, I can multitask.

[brittanator]

Well stop.

[ And with that, she cuts the feed. This time, she even triple-checks, which means she blinks back into sight again, muttering about him under her breath, before blinking out for good. ]