☆ audio.

[hexappeal]

Hello there, young padawans. [Her voice is flat, almost to the point of disinterest.] I've been skulking about for a few days and I'll cut straight to the point: I'm pretty sure that I'm ready to leave now. [More emotion starts to present itself; frustration with the slightest trace of anger.] I get the whole "stuck" thing, but that's always such crap. Someone's usually behind that and they'll usually fold if approached the right way -- which in my case may very well be with a fist.

[She lets a little huff of air out, almost a laugh.] But I'm getting ahead of myself. So, how about this! I'll even be a good sport about it (if you could see me, I am smiling and not going to press any sort of interdimensional charges on you, I promise). I'm a busy woman with a cat to feed and a teenage cousin to roll my eyes at back home. Send me to my San Francisco and I'll forget this ever happened.

Comments

audio

[hexappeal]

I wouldn't know, I've never had the urge to taste-test one.

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[hung_garian]

I'm not gonna lie, I have that urge with most things. And people, but that's a different bad habit altogether.

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[hexappeal]

Then it's a good thing this meeting isn't in person; you might be looking at a broken jaw.

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[hung_garian]

That is lucky. Of all the bones I could have broken, I think the jaw would be my last choice.

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[hexappeal]

...what would be your first?

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[hung_garian]

Probably the nose. I think it'd make me look rugged.

[Or possibly one arm, since he's pretty sure he's already fractured it. (He almost definitely hasn't; he's just being a baby about it).]

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[hexappeal]

There are pretty un-rugged ways to break a nose. Especially if you get a split-lip along the way. I'm sure some women dig it, though. [Aww, look how sweet! She's being encouraging!]

Re: audio

[hung_garian]

Trust me, I know: my ex was one of them. Very big on the blood and the destruction and the fire... which was a bit of a pain, since they messed up my hair something awful.

[And also since they were generally, you know, painful. Not that that bothers gods.]

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[hexappeal]

Sounds like you sure know how to pick 'em.

[It makes her feel good about her own love life, however.]

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[hung_garian]

Ah, I know it sounds bad, but once you get past the divine wrath she's completely charming.

[And once you get past the charm, she's mildly psychotic with serious anger management issues, but hey. Nobody's perfect. And if they were, they definitely wouldn't be dating Gabriel.]

But since she's not here, I guess it's something of a moot point. Just gotta hope there's some other lady here who's into broken noses, huh?

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[hexappeal]

If it's all the same to you, I'd rather skip that part and just go straight for the good stuff. Immortals are all well and fine, but I generally stray from divine anything, particularly wrath. The Spectre's not really my type, but his human host once upon a time was totally gorgeous -- unfortunately Corrigan was about as dull as dirt, particularly in regard to the weird and wonderful. [She stops herself before she gets too chatty.]

I wish you luck with that. My suggestion would be to avoid the situation entirely, maybe just go for well-dressed and clean. [Says the one who slept with a guy covered in his own vomit. Wow, maybe she should take her own advice?]

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[hung_garian]

Oh, I wouldn't write 'em off altogether. Great stamina, attention to detail, capable of the physically impossible... they've got a lot of handy little abilities that come in real handy. Especially the ones with more than two hands.

[She can probably hear the leer.]

But hey. I guess if you like your men frail and boring, who am I to judge.

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[hexappeal]

I live in a world full of impossibly attractive men. I generally prefer the world-weary middle-aged with a somewhat average build sort. But I'll take impossibly attractive in the meantime.

[It was palpable.]

I like men that don't expect a long-term relationship, although I don't necessarily mind that potential.

Re: audio

[hung_garian]

Well, by some happy coincidence, I happen to know a guy who'd be just your type. Quick question, what're your thoughts on height?

[hexappeal]

No one under five-eleven. Five-ten is pushing it.

I'd be careful what holes you dig yourself into. You might not like where you end up when you're stuck.

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[hung_garian]

Y'know, you might have a point there. I got my foot stuck in a rabbit hole once and I had to stay there for nearly three days before eventually I decided enough was enough and sawed through my ankle with a penknife.

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[hexappeal]

You're either a really bad liar or really awful at sarcasm.

I can't decide which is more disappointing.

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[hung_garian]

Personally I'm inclined to say it's a bit of both, but hey, you're the expert.

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[hexappeal]

On lying, sarcasm, and disappointment, mind you.

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[hung_garian]

I'm not gonna lie, you should probably work on expanding your skillset. That wouldn't look too good on a CV.

[hexappeal]

I wouldn't know, I've never had to write one.

[hung_garian]

Well, it's alright for some.

[Not that he has either, admittedly.]

[hexappeal]

I don't imagine I'll be needing to write one anytime soon, but that's good to know.

I'm afraid I have no intention of scribbling down my work history like... oh, ever.

[hung_garian]

Lemme guess, it'd get you arrested? Mine would, anyway. But hey, it'd make for interesting memoirs... at least so long as they were published posthumously.

[hexappeal]

Some of it might, but I wouldn't call that "work" so much as "self-servicing hobbies," in that case.

That's why you publish the boring details while you're alive and spend several weeks at the top, like I did.