001 | Hal Yorke | Day 75 [ all replies audio ]

[unsanguine]

[ Good morning, Vietkore! Let us bring in the sun with a vampire. A vampire who is definitely not in South Wales anymore.

Having had the better part of two days to absorb this new and unsettling problem, he might have time to make the requisite Wizard of Oz reference except for having only the barest idea where Kansas is, and being in no way equipped for that joke anyway. It's for the best, he'd just have something snide to say about the Gold Standard and heavy-handed metaphors.


As things are, on this day the Cape is saved the fantastic confusion of what would be a video message from a disembodied voice by virtue of the fact that he's now had some assistance in how his shiny and unremovable accessory works, and so only engages the audio function. Thus, a clipped English accent greets the populace, said accent suggesting its speaker was born with about eighty silver spoons in his mouth.

Possibly no assertion has ever been less correct.

Extensive throat clearing; this feels about as comfortable as using voice mail, except with less assurance anyone will get the message. ]

Ahem. Assuming this comely new accoutrement [ virtually hemorrhaging sarcasm there ] does transmit one's messages into the ether and I haven't made even more an idiot of myself than suggested by my current predicament, a few small and humble requests of anyone who might be listening.

I was er, wondering if anyone might have some neglected household chores I could be so bold as to take off your hands? If finances are a concern rest assured I have no intention of charging for my services, I--find myself lacking the usual routines from home. Stress relief, you know, very important in today's madcap and slapdash world.

[...uncomfortable silence. ]

Is the thing to do to introduce oneself? This is Hal. Hal Yorke, signing off now.

[ .........................................help? ]

Comments

( permavoice )

[enchangement]

No no don't fix it ...if you sit and sing while it spins and shakes, it's fun.

[ Trust her, Hal. ]

If you sing. Suspect they're supposed to shake and rattle with things inside of them, you may know better than I.

The schoolhouse is a library sans librarian which means its several thousand volumes have no caretaker and limited organization. No one else has done it, why not you?

/upgrades to DELICIOUS ( permavoice ) - whups bad connotations there

[unsanguine]

[ Hal's bafflement, though silent, is more than audible. ]

No singing, no. Entirely too frivolous a pastime and better left to professionals besides.

[ Mister Yorke, you are a liar. ]

Why not me? Hrm. [ Tiny, tiny, caaaautious optimism. ] Indeed, why not me? You're the second to suggest as much, and I do possess rather a talent for the color-coded and satisfactorily ordered. Perhaps I might even find a niche for myself, if no one else's done it.

ngl I giggled

[enchangement]

There's one here. Haven't heard him sing yet, though.

[ A lying liar who lies. Who doesn't sing while cleaning? Heathens, that's who. ]

Oh it was Charles. Good. It should be you, there's no one else bent towards it like sun and flowers.

It'll be good for you.

[unsanguine]

[ That's never going to stop being disconcerting, is it. ]

Charles. Gregarious sort of gentleman.

[ Probably a compliment, it's hard to tell from Hal's tone of voice. Mostly it's just baffling. Then again at least he knows why that kind of thing is possible for other people; they're not constantly required to keep a hundred percent of their bodily impulses on a leash. ]

'Good for me.' [ His echo is faintly self-mocking. ] That would be putting it mildly.

[enchangement]

[ Probably not. But there are more disconcerting things, aren't there? ]

He is better than I am. More control. [ Except...when he's a vampire. Something River won't be bringing up, now or ever, Amen. ] Easier to filter, doesn't get a universe and its history all in one drop of water.

[ River makes a tsk sort of sound. ]

Necessary functions to maintain the desired output so why disdain?

You were good at other things. Now you're good at this. Everything in it's correct place and season. Is that bad?

[unsanguine]

[ Hal makes a self-directed lacerating sound through his nose. ]

I've never been less than exemplary at anything in my life. That's the problem.

[ Because you see, he was so very good at being an absolute monster. ]

[enchangement]

[ River frowns. Someone else might ask what the problem is, then, but she gets it. She thinks, anyway. ]

And now, a perfect ruin. Not new and not solo, but it requires adjusting and readjusting. Constantly fighting to maintain balance because too much of any particular humor is too much at all.

How is the attic?