001 | Hal Yorke | Day 75 [ all replies audio ]

[unsanguine]

[ Good morning, Vietkore! Let us bring in the sun with a vampire. A vampire who is definitely not in South Wales anymore.

Having had the better part of two days to absorb this new and unsettling problem, he might have time to make the requisite Wizard of Oz reference except for having only the barest idea where Kansas is, and being in no way equipped for that joke anyway. It's for the best, he'd just have something snide to say about the Gold Standard and heavy-handed metaphors.


As things are, on this day the Cape is saved the fantastic confusion of what would be a video message from a disembodied voice by virtue of the fact that he's now had some assistance in how his shiny and unremovable accessory works, and so only engages the audio function. Thus, a clipped English accent greets the populace, said accent suggesting its speaker was born with about eighty silver spoons in his mouth.

Possibly no assertion has ever been less correct.

Extensive throat clearing; this feels about as comfortable as using voice mail, except with less assurance anyone will get the message. ]

Ahem. Assuming this comely new accoutrement [ virtually hemorrhaging sarcasm there ] does transmit one's messages into the ether and I haven't made even more an idiot of myself than suggested by my current predicament, a few small and humble requests of anyone who might be listening.

I was er, wondering if anyone might have some neglected household chores I could be so bold as to take off your hands? If finances are a concern rest assured I have no intention of charging for my services, I--find myself lacking the usual routines from home. Stress relief, you know, very important in today's madcap and slapdash world.

[...uncomfortable silence. ]

Is the thing to do to introduce oneself? This is Hal. Hal Yorke, signing off now.

[ .........................................help? ]

Comments

[Video]

[lightgunhustler]

I don't think there's really any strict etiquette for introducing yourself in a place like this.

[Jo offers him a grim but sympathetic smile. She's plenty lost here, herself.]

You're new? Me, too -- I'm Jo.

[Newbie solidarity. It's important.]

[audio always!]

[unsanguine]

[ Hal makes a small, disgruntled noise. Despite his sharp descents into absolute bitchery he does wish he had the comfort of standard societal protocol for this sort of thing. ]

Someone ought to write a book.

[ ...that actually is comforting; at least he's not the only uniformed idiot. Of course Jo might have gone about trying to figure out how her new surroundings work, as opposed to Hal. He has mostly just been hiding furtively in an empty attic. ]

Hal. If you'll permit me the terrible breach of etiquette - standard or otherwise - I'll skip the bit where we profess how nice it is to have met.

[video] /thumbs up for Hal's audio!

[lightgunhustler]

Could come in handy. Or at least some kind of brochure or field guide -- anything to make sure all points are covered with any new arrivals.

[Thankfully, she's got family here. They've been good about filling in the blanks for her, although she doesn't exactly like what she's been hearing.]

Given the circumstances, yeah, I'd say that's acceptable. We're captives. Nothing nice about it.

[audio - video] there perfect :>

[unsanguine]

The welcome message may be the least informative piece of information I've ever encountered.

[ He suspects this is on purpose, and he is of course pissy about it. ]

No indeed. I'm no stranger to kidnapping - [ Hal, really ] but one is accustomed to at least demands for ransom. I find myself nearly insulted.

[ ...not a trace of irony. ]

[audio - video]

[lightgunhustler]

I might have to side with you on that. What good is being kidnapped if they're not even going to allow of the dignity of being important enough to demand ransom?

[She, on the other hand, is joking, however feebly.]

[audio - video]

[unsanguine]

[ Is Hal going to take her completely at face value? ]

I couldn't agree more. A man's freedom may be bought for nothing, but his dignity truly is worth more than the price of rubies.

[ .....yes. By the way this is a teenaged girl you are chatting with, Hal. ]

[audio - video]

[lightgunhustler]

[Pardon, she is entirely legal, though even she'll admit that she looks a little on the young side.]

I was -- well. I'd say I was kidding, but there's some truth in it, I guess.

( a u d i o )

[mentis]

[ There's a thing about the English, they hone in. Charles is only half perusing the network - thoughts turned instead to the twisting idea of community and what should be done - but he hears the accent and immediately he knows he has to respond.

Perhaps it should be there's a thing about the upper class English but he supposes people from somewhere else - say Newcastle - would be exactly the same. He's not sure. He's never been to Newcastle. ]

That's an interesting proposition. [ Here, Hal. ] Unfortunately I room with a fellow who refuses to let my mugs pile up. [ Charles sounds fond, like he's smiling. ] It's havoc to my academic system but what can you do.

( a u d i o )

[unsanguine]

[ Hal has a bizarre moment of wanting to feel at home with the accent and then ...fails; it's happened before. They may speak the same way, but he certainly didn't learn this one naturally, and it doesn't matter where he's from so much as what he is.

Still, he does know how to navigate one of his own countrymen better than he does, say, the plethora of unbelievably confusing and foreign entities who have the gall to keep strolling by his face. Blatantly! ]

Adapt, one supposes. Must be a useful fellow to have around. [ A beat of silence. ] You're sure there's nothing he might have missed? I'm quite thorough myself.

( a u d i o )

[mentis]

He has his charms. [ They are many and bountiful and irrationally sexy but it's okay Hal, he won't subject you to that knowledge. You're English, you know how it is. ] And he's quite thorough. [ Indeed. ]

There's always the library? I tend to leave books in my wake more than I should. I don't know if shelving would help. [ Thankfully not judging your neurosis. ] But if you're stuck.

( a u d i o )

[unsanguine]

[ Hal thanks you for that, Charles. He'd just be terminally awkward about it, because what are the things that make other people happy besides things that are out of his reach forever moooooope ]

I see. Well.

[ ...see, he's already awkward and nothing irrationally sexy has even been expressed. In fact he might deal with details of an obvious conquest better than simple affection, the former being significantly less complicated than the latter. His voice brightens a moment later, however. Cautiously. ]

Lacking an organizational system, eh? [ Yes, except for presumably like, the Dewey Decimal, for instance. ] We'll soon see about that.

[ Oh no, you've delighted him, Charles. What then now. ]

( a u d i o )

[mentis]

[ Hal, Hal. Quit charming him with your awkwardness, he already wants to give you a friendship bracelet or something.

With a sudden laugh. ] Well, I'm sure other people will thank you for the books actually being where they should be. I just hope the state I to leave the place won't paint me in a hideous light. I tend to get in the ... uh, zone when I'm reading.

( a u d i o )

[unsanguine]

[ Hal could no more stop being awkward than he could stop br--wait. Anyway, his sober persona is exactly this: a person who's so effectively removed himself from the minutiae of daily life it's like trying to speak a new and unfamiliar dialect in a once fluent language. Hits and misses. Mostly misses, such as here, where he manages to audibly recoil in horror at the possible state of the library. What if Dickens has been inadvertently shelved where Dickinson should be?

Anarchy, that's what. ]

Surely I won't find the books so mistreated as to have been placed facedown? Terrible for the spines, you know.

[ On another person this would be a joke. It ...is not. Surely not, what kind of monster would do such a thing? Even Hal is a better man than that, and he's a centuries old mass murderer! ]

[Video]

[undomesticated]

[Hal may not want to be visible to the network, but Riley decides to give him a bright smile when she turns on her device to answer.]

Are you seriously offering to do some cleaning? Like, seriously-seriously? Because, um, we have some kind of less than immaculate people in this house.

[No names. No names at all. Kenzi.]

I'm sure we could figure out something in return. We'll wait and see if you have anything you need that pops up.

[DEFINITIVELY AUDIO player is a goob]

[unsanguine]

[ Hal is physically incapable of being visible to the network. When his best friend was a barber, the 'how do you like your haircut' jokes were constant. ]

I--yes. As I said I find it relaxing.

[ Doesn't everyone? He ...dithers for a second, silently. ]

You wouldn't know where to find a set of dominoes, would you? I'd consider that payment in full, and more.

[undomesticated]

Sorry, I don't really think they stock the place for entertainment purposes. You could always make a set if you can find a good knife for whittling or carving.

I could always go looking for wood the next time I go hunting that would make a good set or two?

[unsanguine]

...whittling. [ He pronounces this as if she has suggested he, perhaps, rub the fresh corpse of a small dead animal on his face. ] No, I'd be no good at that at all.

[undomesticated]

[She tries not to smile, but she's doing a terrible job of it and he can likely see that.]

Not a fan of handiwork, huh? That's okay, I'm not too bad at it. Sort of.

[She could possibly hack and slash her way through some wood to make passable dominoes.]

help, they're precious

[unsanguine]

[ Hal can indeed see this; his voice goes the shade of uncertain and abashed where a person is aware they've been rude and that rudeness has been tolerated rather than clipped. ]

I've always found it rather prosaic. [ ....that is not how we do 'not rude,' honey. ] Though I can assure you'd find me an appreciative recipient.

[ She has nooooo idea just how appreciative, actually. ]

( voice )

[enchangement]

House seventeen once housed five souls and now there is only one and a new guest. Haven't cleaned any of them. The washing machine shakes, and the operas sound funny when you sing it's tunes.

You're welcome to come, and the girl will hide if that's easier.

There is also the library. A larger project.

( voice )

[unsanguine]

[ Ah. This ...entity. Still unfamiliar, but not unwelcome. Hal never forgets anything, so he remembers the tones and tiny notes in River's voice, the rising and falling cadence like harp strings or a tilted sonnet. ]

I'm not much hand for mechanics, I'm afraid, but I could certainly give the place a good going over. It erm--it won't be necessary for you to hide.

[ He doesn't ...think. ]

The library?

[INSTAPERK. ]

( permavoice )

[enchangement]

No no don't fix it ...if you sit and sing while it spins and shakes, it's fun.

[ Trust her, Hal. ]

If you sing. Suspect they're supposed to shake and rattle with things inside of them, you may know better than I.

The schoolhouse is a library sans librarian which means its several thousand volumes have no caretaker and limited organization. No one else has done it, why not you?

/upgrades to DELICIOUS ( permavoice ) - whups bad connotations there

[unsanguine]

[ Hal's bafflement, though silent, is more than audible. ]

No singing, no. Entirely too frivolous a pastime and better left to professionals besides.

[ Mister Yorke, you are a liar. ]

Why not me? Hrm. [ Tiny, tiny, caaaautious optimism. ] Indeed, why not me? You're the second to suggest as much, and I do possess rather a talent for the color-coded and satisfactorily ordered. Perhaps I might even find a niche for myself, if no one else's done it.

ngl I giggled

[enchangement]

There's one here. Haven't heard him sing yet, though.

[ A lying liar who lies. Who doesn't sing while cleaning? Heathens, that's who. ]

Oh it was Charles. Good. It should be you, there's no one else bent towards it like sun and flowers.

It'll be good for you.

[unsanguine]

[ That's never going to stop being disconcerting, is it. ]

Charles. Gregarious sort of gentleman.

[ Probably a compliment, it's hard to tell from Hal's tone of voice. Mostly it's just baffling. Then again at least he knows why that kind of thing is possible for other people; they're not constantly required to keep a hundred percent of their bodily impulses on a leash. ]

'Good for me.' [ His echo is faintly self-mocking. ] That would be putting it mildly.