001 | Code Name Duchess | [Video]

[covertass]

[Weird. Mother hadn't hinted about any top secret assessment spy testing, and by hint he really meant outright told him and then used the opportunity to take bets on his failure. An actual secret assessment just really wasn't like her at all. Maybe she had told him and he'd just forgotten, that was a big possibility too.

Either way, he really wished he had his turtleneck.]

[He taps on the communicator in an attempt to get in contact with whoever just spoke to him, not realizing he's started a video.]

You guys aren't even going to try at an accent? Fine. But just so you know, I don't negotiate with cyborgs. [He glares at the communicator when he doesn't get a response.]

Hello? Kidnappers? Is anyone even listening?!

003 \\ Sherlock Holmes \\ [Video]

[could_be_dangerous]

Next time someone disappears, if you wouldn't mind consulting me before stomping about and destroying what little evidence there's likely to be, that would be delightful. Not, mind, that I expect the explanation for said disappearances is any more obscure to you than it is to me, unless you're a complete idiot, but if you're going to ask anyway it would behoove you to at least try not to ruin absolutely everything of even the remotest use.

Gabriel - Video - 03

[hung_garian]

Lots of newbies lately, huh? How you doing, welcome to the place, make yourselves at home. Oh, and ignore the lies everyone's been feeding you, this is really a secret testing facility sponsored by the federal government. Fight the power, lock your doors and don't trust the water.

[He doesn't bother trying to make that sound convincing; the apathetic drawl should be enough to convince even those inclined to trust him dubious.]

With that particular PSA out of the way, on to more serious matters. I'm bored. Really bored. Boreder than a straight adult male watching Maid in Manhattan. Any of you monkeys feel like entertaining me, or will I have to revert to my old habit of serial murder to help pass those long lonely hours? Just a simple outraged shouty reply will do, if you can't come up with something more imaginative.