what is this / 01

[stiling]

[ The transmission starts off audio, a confused voice spluttering to itself as Stiles haplessly hits buttons on his communicator. ]

Okay, well, ya said Cape Kore like that means anything to me, but here's the thing, sucker, is that I've never been to a Cape Anything. --Who even lives near a cape, I'm not a cape kind of --

[ Video! It flips over and the face jumps and makes a few surprised shapes. ]

Well. Hello, guy. That just flashed. Nine-one-one? Hello? I'm, um. I'm not living here. There's been a mistake.

Comments

[porcelainpride]

[He pauses, thinking, then holds his hands about a foot apart.] Regular cat.

[Stretches his arms as far as he can.] Hellcat.

[stiling]

[ Stiles wets his lips, giving a faint nod. ] Hellcat.

Like a mountain lion?

[porcelainpride]

Bigger and more focused on murder. [Kurt seems totally chill about all this, really. It's the little things, like sharing the horrors with newcomers, that make life livable.]

[stiling]

Mass-murdering linebacker mountain lions?

[ His own face doesn't seem to know what to do with itself, making a few funny shapes while he's at it. But he's panicked and giving half-hearted laughs at his own jokes, it's a thing. ]

Any second now, you can do the 'ha ha, this is the joke part' thing. I'll allow it.

[porcelainpride]

I'd love to, really, but that'd be thoroughly dishonest.

[stiling]

Is this, like, a regular kind of thing? [ Pause. ] Or are you just a secret ninja warrior from beyond who can keep up with sudden onslaughts of various hellbeasts, oh man, that would be so cool.

[porcelainpride]

I wish. It's a regular thing, at this point.

[stiling]

That's fucked up, Kurt.

[ Another beat, before he sighs and introduces himself finally. ] Stiles. I never gave you my name.

[porcelainpride]

....Stiles. Hm.

Nice to meet you and I apologize for the circumstances it's in.

[stiling]

...Yeah. Stiles.

Right back atcha. Guess it's kinda unavoidable, huh? Warm welcome to the cell block, at least.

[porcelainpride]

Is that...Welsh?

Indeed. Do you happen to know any sort of self-defense technique?

[stiling]

What? Dude, it's a nickname.

But I don't know, I've got some moves. Por exemplo, I have fetal position down pat.

[porcelainpride]

Ahhh, that makes a lot more sense.

Dignified and effective. You definitely won't die first.

[stiling]

Short for Stilinski. Last name. Everyone calls me it, even my dad; might as well, right?

[ He gives a self-deprecating laugh. ] Yeah, and at the least I'm a good distraction while I'm getting torn to shreds.

[porcelainpride]

Interesting. It's catchy, though.

[Sympathetic wince.] No judgement; I'll be right there with you.

[stiling]

Hey, it's a date. Ends of our lives ahoy, apparently.

[porcelainpride]

Death by experimentation, hellcats or kraken.

[stiling]

All right, you might be on your own if a frigging kraken emerges.

[porcelainpride]

Thus far we've avoided sea-based horrors. Mostly because everyone's smart enough to stay away from the water.

[stiling]

Well, yeah, if you don't want your nads retreating into your body. Unless there's an overabundance of that surfer who just needs the last wave before the hurricane hits.

[porcelainpride]

We do have a lot of that type around here, actually.

[stiling]

- Alright, I take that back. Kraken may and probably will be thoroughly awakened.

[porcelainpride]

We're all going to die, hooraaayyyy.

Have you found a place to stay yet?

[stiling]

May it be quick and relatively painless, right?

Ssssssorta. You met Lydia? We're friends back home, she's got a couch. [ He trails off, shrugs his shoulders. ]

[porcelainpride]

We can hope.

Ohhhh. Well, it's nice that you know someone, right?