what is this / 01
[ The transmission starts off audio, a confused voice spluttering to itself as Stiles haplessly hits buttons on his communicator. ]
Okay, well, ya said Cape Kore like that means anything to me, but here's the thing, sucker, is that I've never been to a Cape Anything. --Who even lives near a cape, I'm not a cape kind of --
[ Video! It flips over and the face jumps and makes a few surprised shapes. ]
Well. Hello, guy. That just flashed. Nine-one-one? Hello? I'm, um. I'm not living here. There's been a mistake.
Okay, well, ya said Cape Kore like that means anything to me, but here's the thing, sucker, is that I've never been to a Cape Anything. --Who even lives near a cape, I'm not a cape kind of --
[ Video! It flips over and the face jumps and makes a few surprised shapes. ]
Well. Hello, guy. That just flashed. Nine-one-one? Hello? I'm, um. I'm not living here. There's been a mistake.
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[The smirk becomes a full on grin.] Phil is the most badass mofo you will ever meet. I followed him home on the first day and he's totes cool with me leaving my crossbow on the coffee table.
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Yeah, am I the only one concerned with this whole not-with-the-food thing? Is that something that's gonna get itself rectified cuz, uh, food is a large concern for me.
Also, pizza? Crossbows? Pizza? Hello, new best friend?
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YES! Best friends. Okay. You gotta share that title with KK, but I can work with this. Pizza is the food of the gods and the crossbow is what keeps it safe. Dude! I'll wait for you outside. My house is the one closest to the lighthouse!
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So the big building with the flashy light-y on top; think I can handle that one without getting lost.
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[She grins and heads out front to wait for him on the porch.]
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Holy crap, who hooked you up with the good stuff? This place is huge.
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[She stands up, looking back at the pretty sweet house. Yeah. It's kinda awesome.]
The perks of following the dude in the suit, I guess. Phil picked it. I just kinda decided to live here, too. Come on! [Inside the house! Much warmer. She leads the way to the kitchen. No sign of the roomies.]
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[ He follows her dutifully, fully aware of the fact that he's now entering a TOTAL STRANGER'S house right now. yolo, he's gonna make the most of what crap deal he's landed here. And Kenzi seems cool enough. Right? ]
[ Whatever, he's a fast runner. ]
This Phil guy's got pretty nice taste. Just kinda imagining you barging all up in his face and hunkering down in his living room until he realizes you're not gonna leave.
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Honestly? ... That's pretty much how it went down. Few minor details, but yeah that's the big picture. [She grins and opens the freezer] Philliam is chill. He's super nice for a guy with a license to kill.
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A dude with some backbone, I can dig it. [ Stiles slides onto the counter and taps his hands against the surface of it for a moment before the whole 'to kill' thing kind of clicks after a second or two. ] Wait, what?
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... So far.]
He's a specially trained government agent. No big. He has a gun! It's awesome. Wait. Is this Fahrenheit or Celsius....?
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[ If it's space, it just invented its own, probably. ]
Hang on, what kinda government are we talking here?
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[OVEN = PREHEATING! Fuck yes. Pizza, soon you will be in their mouths! Now she just ha to open the stupid box and that stupid plastic. Augh. Give her a minute.]
Uhh... American? They're with SHIELD. Whatever the hell that ... stands for. It's really long, okay? I can only remember so much awesome shiz before my brain overheats, melts, and I turn into a really cute zombie. You should ask him about it. Talk to him. Make a million friends. Gain body guards.
[Strategies for the future prevention of dead Stiles. Or SFPDS ... not as catchy.]
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[ He's not gonna even help, he's just gonna rub his hands together and watch her, faint grin at his mouth. ]
I haven't even heard of that, how secret is that? [ This is SO COOL. ] You'd make a pretty snazzy zombie, though, so there's that going for you. Can't I just get a bat or something for myself? All my bodyguards got left back home.
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[Oh my god, you little brat. When she finally rips the package open the first thing she does is shoot Stiles a triumphant grin! The second thing she does is put the thing in the oven. Then she sets the timer.]
Pretty secret I guess. [A smirk] Whhhhhy, thank you. If the whole life thing doesn't work out, it's nice to know I have options to fall back on. [She leans against the counter.] Also no. The bat is mine. Get your own.
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[ Excuse him while his hands throw emphatically up into the air for a moment, a sound of distress in his throat that's not quite an out loud thing. ]
Even you have a bat, oh my Christ. Does everybody in the English-speaking world tote one around or what?
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[... Because... okay, maybe he won't notice that she meant that literally. The vampire she and Bo knew was pretty damn awesome until Vex murdered his face. Hopefully he just thinks she's talking about the classic ones. Like Dracula! Or Count Chocula.]
Do you hang out with a lot of baseball fans? I just think they're handy to have around and then you get the added bonus of being able to look like that one gang from the Warriors when you're threatening to bash in skulls!
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I hang out with a lot of people with bats. I don't even think anyone plays baseball... [ He looks thoughtful for a moment, scrubbing furiously at his chin for his thinkpan to work. ] I mean, hey, yeah, give me a horror movie trope any more than the next guy, bat's good, but why always bats?
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[Stiles, she hasn't known you that long, but you're getting a hug. For being awesome. And wicked-smart. And ADORABLE!]
I also have a crowbar if that makes you feel any better? I could use that instead.