Kenzi and Jesse are drunk idiots - JOINTPOSTEXTRAVAGANZA!

[onteamdyson]

[The feed starts out as audio of two idiots giggling, snickering, and clanging some pots or some shiz around until idiot number one remembers how to switch to video. Suddenly there's a shirtless Jesse standing in front of the stove with a frying pan in hand while Kenzi sits on the counter filming this magic.

You're welcome, Kore.]

Okay! Okay-- no, shut up! Okay. Today on cooking with Kenzi, we have speeeeecial guest, Chef Hotsauce cookin' up some grub. No-- no, dude, it's totally-- you have to call it grub if you caught it. I caught it. Okay, go. Go! Whatcha cookin', Hotsauce?

[ He will NOT shut up, rude. He's laughing too hard to answer for a second, because Hotsauce. Also, he's very drunk. It's hard to stop anything when he's drunk. ]

Cookin' - Hotsauce, jesus - rabbit. Fuckin' rabbit that Miss Kenzi caught all on her lonesome. Round of applause for her badassery, yeah? [ To his credit, his gaze only flickers to the camera once during all of his words. ] Rabbit and. Leaves. The fuck are these. [ Dude. You're the chef, you should know what that handful of rosemary is. ]

You heard it, folks! Rabbit. And. Leaves. This is culinary freakin'... genius you're witnessing. Okay. Do we need salt? I can salt it. I can do the salt part, Jesse. Just watch me. I'm saltacular. Trust me with the salt! Can I touch something? What about this?!

[That sure is a spatula suddenly in front of the camera. That sure is a spatula hitting Jesse in the arm... that sure is an unsanitary spatula now. Great.

KENZI sit down, Jesse is cooking. Does it need salt? Probably. Jesse shrugs, throwing the rosemary on top of the rabbit in the pan in front of him, and reaches for his glass, which is nearly empty. He's had a few. The spatula, however, makes him jump, which means they now have both a spatula that is unsanitary and a rabbit that is covered in rum. Uh. ]

Shit! Fuckin' - uh. Oops.

[Kenzi's laughing so damn hard that she drops the spatula, doubles over, and can barely breathe by the time she finally shuts off the feed. Don't try this at home, ladies and gents. Also... no one eat that.]

Comments

ACTION

[rigging]

[ Yeah, no, seriously, nobody eat that. It's a wasted rabbit, but Jesse's sure they can salvage it somehow. Sometime. He doesn't know, he doesn't care right now, because Kenzi's making him laugh just by laughing. He's giggling so hard he nearly falls over, and when he can stop, he's actually on the floor, peering up at Kenzi.

How... many has he had, he can't remember. ] Fuckin' - spatula. [ Man, seriously. Fuck that thing. A beat. ] Did y'salt the rabbit? [ HEEHEE. ]

( action )

[gleans]

[ WHAT IS THIS RUMPUS? Galen hears the noise downstairs and comes to investigate, stopping and staring in the kitchen doorway for the latter half of their, uh... broadcast. ]

... You guys are trashed, aren't you.

action

[nedofpies]

[ Ned hasn't been looking at his communicator, so he doesn't really have any warning when he wanders vaguely in the direction of the kitchen for a glass of water and comes across....all this. ]

Uh... hi guys.