003 | Chuck Shurley | Day 93

[godsprophet]

[ Good evening, Kore! Amidst all of the new arrivals that have been showing up is a familiar face. Or, well, it would be a familiar face if he hadn't been missing for about three weeks.

Chuck Shurley is standing on the edge of town, looking completely baffled and confused. Like he'd just found himself there without knowing how or why, and so he just... stopped walking. He's tired and he's sore and honestly, he doesn't feel all that great. All he wants to do is crawl into bed and sleep for a few days. He rubs his forehead and he blinks down at the communicator at his wrist for a few seconds. ]

So I, uh... I think I was just kidnapped? By... the scientists?

[ And if he sounds unsure, it's only because he is. It's like trying to remember a dream he had years ago - everything's all fuzzy. ]

Comments

[hung_garian]

Keep them indefinitely wherever they kept you? Kill 'em? I don't know. Nothing good.

[His expression is almost serious until this point, at which he pastes on one of his least convincing smiles. It's fleeting.]

Call me a pessimist if you like, but in my experience assuming the worst's safest and generally most likely.

[godsprophet]

[ Chuck lets out a long breath. By this point, he's resigned himself to the knowledge that angels in real life are nothing at all similar to how angels are commonly perceived. But still, he can't help but feel that if an angel - and an archangel at that - is assuming the worst and being pessimistic, then that's... probably not good news.

Not that Cape Kore is good news in any fashion, but still. Gabriel's words are quick to force the reality of the situation down upon him. ]

I guess. But I mean... I came back, right?

[hung_garian]

You did.

[Lucifer didn't, though. And Sam - for all that he's really not Gabriel's priority - has been gone for months.]

Maybe they didn't fancy having to house train you, you think? [A joke.] And you're not dead, so kudos for that.

[godsprophet]

I've, uh, been told I'm more of a houseplant, actually.

[ It's said dryly. Because yes, he blames you for Raphael comparing him to a houseplant. ]

[hung_garian]

Well, you've got the social skills and life of one.

[Perhaps one day he will stop just casually being an asshole to Chuck. One day.]

And I suppose someone could mistake the ... general beardy scruff thing you have going on for foliage. If they were seriously visually impaired.

[godsprophet]

[ The day he stops being a casual asshole is the day Chuck would become very paranoid around Gabriel. And perhaps a little worried. ]

What? No, my.... I look nothing like foliage!

[ That wasn't the kind of comparison he was making! ]

[hung_garian]

True. You're entirely the wrong shade of green.

[godsprophet]

I'm not any shade of green!

[hung_garian]

You're a little green. Just a tinge. Around the gills.

[He's not green at all.]

Are you sure you're feeling alright?

[godsprophet]

What? I don't have...

[ Wait, hold on, he's going to double check that he does not, in fact, have gills. Because the scientists could have given him gills or, more likely, Gabriel could have given him gills for the sake of a punchline.

But when he is certain he has not suddenly gained gills when he wasn't looking - how is that an actual fear, what is his life - he resumes his confused denials. ]

I don't have gills!

[hung_garian]

Green around the idiomatic gills.

[Although he does enjoy the brief panic. It's always worth talking to Chuck just for the sheer joy of those nerves.]

Though, y'know, they're pretty handy things. Couldn't hurt to have 'em - if you decide you want a set, I know a guy who knows a guy. I can put you in touch.

[godsprophet]

No, no!

[ He speaks quickly, like he's afraid if he waits a second longer, Gabriel will go ahead and give him gills without his consent. ]

No, I, uh, don't need gills. But, uh. Thanks?

[hung_garian]

Suit yourself.

[He shrugs, makes a face that clearly says 'you don't know what you're missing'. As if he'd actually been considering it.]

[godsprophet]

...What would even be the point of having gills? I mean, it's not like I plan on living in the ocean or anything.

Not when, you know. There's a sea monster or... whatever it is.

[hung_garian]

Have you ever talked to the sea monster? Or are you just judging it on the basis of it being a big ugly freak of nature? Cause y'know, Chuck, that's pretty shallow of you. Poor thing could probably do with a friend - especially after the years of discrimination it's no doubt suffered from the likes of you.

[godsprophet]

What? No, I...

[ Did you just accuse of him being racist to a sea monster? ]

...How would I even talk to a sea monster?

[hung_garian]

Same way you'd talk to anyone else, Chuckie. Only ideally with less stuttering and apologising. It makes it kinda hard to understand you sometimes.

[godsprophet]

Oh. I--

[ He goes through an effort not to stutter. He's pretty sure he fails. ]

--Sorry.

[hung_garian]

[SIGH.]

I forgive you.

[godsprophet]

[ Chuck thinks he's beginning to lose track of what they're talking about. But that's actually a pretty common thing when talking to Gabriel, so...

Now he's overly self-conscious about the words he says, thanks for that. ]

...Thanks, I guess?

[hung_garian]

You're welcome. Just try not to do it again.

[godsprophet]

I'll... try not to?

[ He's not entirely sure that's a promise he can make. ]

[hung_garian]

Attaboy.

[godsprophet]

[ He clears his throat. ]

So, I... guess I'm going to head back to our house, then.

[ Because he's still kind of standing in the middle of town. ]

[hung_garian]

Great. I'll take out the bear traps from behind the front door before you arrive.