cape_kore | Entries tagged with { troy barnes

[ The feed comes to life revealing a startling amount of forehead topped with a carefully styled bedhead. Entranced yet? Wait till you see the face that comes with it. ]

Oh, now it's working. [ The video stops shaking and quaking to focus on the face, which appears very disgruntled as it peers at the device. ] So, who am I blaming first for this situation that makes absolutely no sense whatsoever? I'll go ahead and say Abed, because Troy? Yeah, Troy gets it. [ What 'it' is, we may never know. ]

So I'm going to count to three, and one of you better jump out with the key to end this whole shtick. [ He makes another face, this one more out of distaste. ] But while we're focusing on certain things, you could have at least chosen something out of your cereal box that was a little less tacky to put around my wrist.

[ He's not actually counting to three, because one: he's not their father, and two: erm, lame. ]

worstpire

-- is this supposed to be?!

[ A pair of glasses and a bewildered expression bump into view for a second before the image is replaced once again with the dark ceiling of an attic. The floor creaks as he moves across it very slowly. ]

I thought he'd kill us, not... fucking... If this is some kind of v-hab I'm gonna lose my sh--OW!!!

[ The image jerks, and there's a sound almost like sizzling as Conrad jumps back and nearly falls on his ass in the process. There's a very pained 'mmmmfffffrrrrrrggghhhh' noise and some cursing through gritted teeth for a moment. ]

Son of a bitch! Ngh -- A - oh, fuck this - A-Adelaide? Anyone?

anniethedayplanner

[The video swings wildly up and down. Have some sky. Now some ballet flats. A flash of plaid and then sky again.]

Guys?

[The video stills as Annie peers at the device on her wrist.]

Is this an Inspector Space Time thing? Remember what I said about warning me when we were pretending outside of the Dreamatorium? I need advance notice. I have a test, I can't... [She rolls her eyes, realizing that if they've gone to this much trouble, it's inescapable.]

[She sighs, pursing her lips before taking a deep breath and talking animatedly, her eyes wide.]

Oi, Goven'r, this is Constable Geneva on Cape Kore requiring immediate extraction. Blimey, there are blorgons everywhere! [She glances around, her face falling momentarily.] And a test worth 25% of my grade on the morn! Hurry, Inspector! Constable Reggie!

[She pauses, furrowing her brow.] Anyone?

nevermindtherunning

[His hair is disheveled, evidence of hours of hands running through and tugging at strands, as he leans back in a desk with feet propped up.]

Right, so... Any conclusions on that earthquake? How trustworthy is this Maria? It doesn't seem very bright to plot an escape when 'they' are monitoring our every move.

And these hallucinations? Glad to know I'm not going to be thrown in a loony bin yet.

[[LOCKED FROM DONNA NOBLE]]

[He rubs at his eyelid, perhaps a nervous habit of his, before pulling his feet in and sitting up straight, looking dead into the camera.]

I know I'm not the only one different out of this lot, and I need help. 1. For the few that have talked to me and know of Donna Noble, don't refer to me as 'Doctor' around her, this is extremely vital. I'm John Smith to her. 2. I can explain why this is, [He licks his lips and narrows his eyes for a moment, clearing searching for the correct wording.] but it's all rather complicated. C.. No wait, was I using letters? 3. Backing up to my statement of differences, anyone have experience in telekinesis or for lack of better terms, probing one's mind?

The technology is rubbish here and for what I'm needing to accomplish would take me a very, very long time and it might be too late then.

buttsoupbarnes

[A seemingly distressed Troy paces back and forth.]

Look- I'm recording now to prove you're not real! Who are you?

[From Troy's perspective, a dark doppelganger appears before him. A mirror image with a sinister twist. While it may look just like him there is nothing but the most violent evil behind those empty eyes.

From a normal person's perspective, Troy spins around in place and places a black felt beard to his face]

Isn't it obvious, Troy? I'm the real you. The you that you'd like to be. Just think of me as... a security blanket.

[He removes the beard to speak as "Normal Troy" This pattern continues as the "two" exchange dialog]

You mean like Mr. Fuzz'n'Warm?

Yes, Troy. Exactly like Mr. Fuzz'n'Warm

...I don't get it. Why do I need a blanket? I'm not cold. And I sincerely doubt a handsome man would even really keep me warm anyway.

Don't you see Troy? You're all alone. Your friends aren't here. This place is dangerous.

[Troy is slightly taken aback with the sobering reminder that he is quite alone]

...And how exactly do you think you can rectify my situation?

By becoming the most dangerous thing out here, myself.

Wh-What exactly are you trying to say?

What I'm saying, Troy, is: Welcome to the darkest timeline.

buttsoupbarnes

Hey people. Troy here. I know I haven't really had a lot of time to... mingle with a lot of y'all yet but I could really use a hand with a bit of an issue here. I always lived following some pretty delicate routines, and when those routines get broken, I start to get a little crazy.

I've spent all morning scouring this place for the right breakfast, but all I can find is stuff like toast and eggs. I mean sure, I could just eat that for breakfast and maybe then when I go home I'll burn all my Transformers and get a desk job in a tax office.

I- I need sugar. I need something probably unhealthy. I can't live like this. I'm all alone out here tryin' to find my own way, with no proper cereal to start my... day.

[Suddenly, in Troy's cereal-deprived brain, the sickest of beats drops and he feels compelled by its musical urgings, despite the fact that nobody but him can hear its sicknasty thumps and bumps.]

Post. Keloggs. My breakfast brothers have deserted.
Not a Froot Loop in nose range, I sniffed until I hurt it.

Need that Snap Crackle Pop to tide me over 'til lunch.
Why can nobody see how much I need my Cinnamon Toast Crunch?

I need Corn Pops and Apple Jacks and Trix and shit.
I take my Nesquik like a Sugar Bear- I can't get enough of it.

I'm so cuckoo for them Cocoa Puffs, I'll pay a ludicrous amount
Track down leprechauns for marshmallows, get chocolate from a count

Got my milk, got my bowl and it's quarter past eight.
French Toast Crunch would be bon Frosted Flakes would be great

So if there's any OGs with a stash of GM
Cough it up to a brotha

Because if you don't I will seriously murder you and use your hollowed out skull as my cereal bowl.

buttsoupbarnes

[The video turns on to reveal a slightly flustered Troy]

Hello, hello, is anybody hearing this? My name is Troy Barnes, I'm a student of Greendale Community College and I am trapped in what I assume to be a Saw movie.

[growing slightly hysterical] I swear to GOD, if that little clown dude comes rollin' out on a tricycle I am just gonna lose it. There is something very unsettling about a puppet riding a bike. I- I just can't take that kind of fear right now. The Great Muppet Caper still gives me nightmares.

[tears welling up, Troy desperately hoped someone responded soon to assure him no puppets would be piloting any wheeled devices into the room]

The Science Center at Cape Kore Network

Entries tagged with { troy barnes

001. ( video ) ♠ Jeff Winger

✘ o n e ( video )

Annie Edison | Video | 001

the Doctor | 002 | Day 40 | Video

|Video 003|---|Troy Barnes?|

|Video 002|---|TROY BARNES|

|Video 001|---|TROY BARNES|

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